Capturing Peace (Sharing You 0.5)(19)
“I . . .” Coen huffed. “I still don’t get it. Okay, so you didn’t want to date a bunch of random guys. Because of that you can’t tell them when you’re sort of seeing someone? They want you to see people. Your brother tried to set us up. You just said all three of them went behind your back to get us on a double date.”
“Yeah, but you don’t know my parents, so you didn’t see how quickly it all changed. But you had to have noticed how Keegan reacted, and all he knows about is the park.”
When he didn’t respond, I glanced over at him to see his eyes were narrowed as he watched me.
“When I got pregnant with Parker, I didn’t stop going to school. Even after he was born I continued going until I graduated from high school. Granted, I had to ask my mom to watch him while I was there because I didn’t have a job then. As soon as I graduated I got a job and moved out with Parker six months later. I wanted to put him in day care, but my mom wouldn’t let me. I hate not being in control of everything. ‘Control’ might have been the wrong word . . . I’m not a control freak. It’s just . . . if I can’t handle something on my own, it scares me. When Austin left me—”
“Austin?”
“Parker’s dad. When he left, I was determined to have Parker and be the best mom. I was already having a baby in high school, but I didn’t want to be a statistic, you know? So ever since that day when he broke up with me, I have to be able to handle every situation by myself, I don’t want to be one of those single moms who constantly has to rely on her family just to get by. Because Austin left us and it was so bad with my parents at first when they found out, I knew I had to be a certain way for Parker. So I hate asking for help. I like knowing I can do it on my own. But my family still thinks they need to watch out for Parker and me. Like they need to protect us because I’m not allowing anyone else to do it. So even though they want me to date, bringing someone into Parker’s life isn’t as easy as me thinking he would be good for me, and good to Parker . . . my whole family has to agree.”
Coen didn’t say anything, and because of the traffic, I couldn’t look at him again. Knowing he’d been mad, the quiet was making me uneasy.
“And that was exactly how it all happened tonight. Keegan was looking at you like an enemy instead of his best friend, my dad was sizing you up, my mom . . . God, my mom—”
“She doesn’t like the way I look.” Coen laughed softly and shifted in the seat. “I noticed.”
I grimaced and rubbed at my forehead. “It doesn’t matter if she does or doesn’t. She obviously got over it. But that’s just it . . . to make it all the more confusing. My family—who wanted nothing more than for me to start dating—all about had heart attacks when they thought I was dating someone, and none of them were happy about it. But a couple hours later, my mom is taking my son for the night so I can spend time with you, and I have no doubt she’s going to be online picking out my wedding dress once he’s asleep.” I groaned and slapped my hand back on the steering wheel before I gasped in horror. “Not that we’re getting married! Jesus.”
Coen’s loud laugh filled my car, and I was positive I was bright red.
“God, just . . . act like I didn’t say that.”
“No can do, Duchess. It’s replaying in my head over and over.” He laughed when I groaned again, and after a few minutes said, “I get what you’re saying, but I’m going to be honest with you. I know we’re not really anything yet, but I’m just letting you know now that we won’t be anything at all if this is how it’s going to be. You being afraid to tell your family about me. You leaving me to answer the questions about us when you look like you’re going to throw up because I’m in the same room with them. I’m not gonna deal with that shit.”
“Coen, I’m sorry. I hadn’t been ready for that and I couldn’t figure out what to do. Part of me wanted to go into your arms, and the other part was terrified of how my family was going to react. And I just froze.”
He didn’t say anything for the next few minutes until I was in the parking lot of his studio, and next to his car. With a hard breath through his nose, he unclicked his seat belt and got out of the car.
My stomach clenched and my head dropped as I realized I’d somehow made this worse. I needed to learn how to shut up. My head snapped to the left when my door opened and he stepped back.
“Get out.”
“What?” I looked around the otherwise empty parking lot before looking back at him. “Why?”
“Just get out of the car, Duchess.”
I stumbled my way out, and gasped when he pushed me against the back door, pressing both his forearms on the window on either side of my head, caging me in.
“This is where you decide,” he said gruffly. “Hudson told me you were independent, and you just told me you get scared if you can’t do something by yourself. You didn’t have to tell me you don’t like people helping you for me to figure that out, but you’re not just stopping people from helping you, Reagan. You’re stopping anyone except from your family from getting too close. And that includes me.”
“But—”
“You’re scared, that’s fine. But why can’t you just see where this goes, huh? For once, let someone else be in control. Let me be there for you, let me help you—” He must have seen the panic in my eyes, because he quickly added, “by just being there for you. Like tonight. Was it so hard for you that I got Parker to eat the rest of his food? Did that make you feel like you didn’t have control of the situation? And don’t f*cking lie to me, I need to know if I messed up by doing—”