Call to Juno (Tales of Ancient Rome #3)(18)
Arruns’s face resumed its somber lines, his feelings once again masked. “Well, we can’t test whether that’s true without disobeying the master.” He stroked Nerie’s head and then turned to leave. “It’s time for me to return to Lord Mastarna.”
Resentment surged as she watched him go, thinking the gods were punishing her for a past wrong that she’d righted. Then she remembered the fury of the king, and what might have been her fate. She hugged her son.
The tightness in her breasts told her she needed to feed Thia. She headed for the nursery, but as Semni rounded the corner into the living quarters, Cytheris barred her way. She could smell the strong scent of aniseed on the maid’s breath.
Semni averted her gaze as she tried to pass.
Aricia’s betrayal had caused threads of gray to grow in Cytheris’s ankle-length plait even though she was only in her thirties. To know her daughter had been faithless to Lady Caecilia had caused her much sorrow. Today she’d learned Semni’s act of bravery in thwarting Aricia’s plot had been built on deception.
“I need to put Nerie to bed and then feed the princess.”
Cytheris placed her hands on her hips. “Thia can wait a little longer. I want you to know the mistress may forgive you, but I never will.”
Semni shifted Nerie’s weight. The boy was drowsy after all the excitement, his head against her shoulder. “I said I was sorry. What more can I do? I will not make the same mistake again.”
“Well, I don’t believe you. You’ve always been selfish and careless. You were early ripe and you’ll be early rotten. You cuckolded your old husband and bore him a bastard. Then you drank yourself silly and slept with any manservant who’d have you once you were given a chance of a new life by the mistress.”
Semni winced at hearing her sins set out in plain sentences. “Nerie was born from my worship of the wine god at the Winter Feast of Fufluns. It was a sacred union. And I’ve changed—you know that. I was chaste and sober after I saw Arruns would never have me while I was wanton.”
“And now you’ve snared him.”
Semni shoved past her, angry now. Cytheris dogged her heels. “I could scarce believe it when the mistress told me yesterday Aricia had not left the city. Every day I live with the shame of knowing my daughter placed Master Tas in harm’s way. And now I learn that you had the chance to stop her and did nothing?”
Semni swiveled around. Cytheris bumped into her at the sudden change in direction.
“I made a mistake. I was scared and stupid. And now I’m being punished. Isn’t it enough for you that Arruns and I are to be separated?”
“Forgoing pleasure for a time is a mild punishment compared to what you deserve. You are fortunate the mistress is kindhearted—and can sway her husband.”
“Then be satisfied my admission hasn’t made me happy. Arruns won’t marry me until Thia is weaned.”
Cytheris’s eyes narrowed. “He doesn’t need to be your husband to bed you.”
The Greek woman’s lack of sympathy only doubled Semni’s annoyance. “Aricia told me that you were also a wet nurse. And you opened your legs for your slave master in Latium. Then fell pregnant with her as proof of your adultery. You were little more than a girl yourself and acted foolishly just like I did. You’re a hypocrite and always will be.”
Taken aback, the handmaid grew shrill. “My past is irrelevant. You don’t deserve clemency. Lord Artile is an evil man. Young Tas was under his influence for far too long while you could have saved him. Lord Mastarna should have thrown you into the street with the stripes on your back fresh and bleeding.”
“Just like you did to Aricia?”
Cytheris pockmarked face flushed red. “She deserved a beating.”
“For her crime, yes. But what about all the other times you whipped her? Your daughter lived with your bad temper. Do you know we used to call you the Gorgon? With your frizzy hair and poisonous stare. With your heart that’s made of stone.”
“I did what a mother ought to. Discipline only.”
“You always loved Lady Caecilia’s children more than your own flesh and blood.”
Cytheris took a deep breath. “You’re wrong. I grieve for the Aricia I lost but despise what she became. I mothered a child who’s betrayed all who cared and loved her. And besides, she wants nothing to do with me.”
Nerie started grizzling, his lower lip trembling. In the distance, Semni could hear Thia’s piercing screams.
“I must go, Cytheris.”
The handmaid stepped back. “Yes, go. But I’ll be watching you. Aricia has been lucky Lady Tanchvil has taken her in. If I find she’s using you to gain access to Tas again . . .”
“Don’t worry! I swear by Fufluns I never plan to speak to her.”
Cytheris nodded and let her pass. “Then in this one thing we’re in agreement. I never wish to set eyes on my daughter again either.”
EIGHT
The chiton was white with a bright-blue border. Woolen. Expensive. Semni tied the strings at one shoulder, leaving one breast exposed, white fluid seeping from the dusky pink nipple. She left the sleeves hanging on the peg on the wall. She would fasten them on with fibula brooches after she had finished Thia’s feed. She yawned and reached for her shawl, draping it around her shoulders.