Caged in Darkness (Caged #1)(61)

Asmodeus placed his index finger over my lips, but it was insubstantial and passed right through me. He leaned forward, until his lips were next to my ear and whispered. “Thank you. It would have been a shame to kill you. Be safe, my little Anakim.” Before he could move back enough to look me in the eyes, he disappeared.

I fell to the ground, screaming at the sky. Every cherished moment I spent loving Liam and Ash, I had really loved a monster. My entire childhood had been one huge nightmare, but it had been my parents’ way of protecting me. Izzy and Ash were dead. I was a virus; I destroyed everything I touched. I brought this evil to this place and into the lives of everyone I loved. Why did everyone else die, while I lived?

The shouting in the distance had grown louder, they were getting closer. I started to panic until my eyes fell on the dagger, abandoned on the ground. It was still fresh with Asmodeus’ blood. Gripping it in my hand, I angled the blade towards me. The horrors that had been visited on me throughout my life, were too much to take any longer. I couldn’t continue to watch this world die a slow, painful death that I brought with me.

My tears froze and for the first time I felt in control. I could decide; this was my choice. I moved the dagger far from my body and plunged it inward. The anger, pain, betrayal was all gone. My world was clear and I was free. This was what a choice was. Fate did not command me, my parents’ choices had not forsaken me, I was just me. This was my world, those were my friends, and the darkness couldn’t touch me unless I gave it permission. I looked down at the dagger sticking out of my torn dress. What was one more hole?

Willow walked into the clearing, while everyone else trailed behind her. She saw my hand covered in blood gripping the dagger, and screamed. Running forward, she grabbed my hands to pull them away from the wound.

“It’s not mine.”

Her eyes search mine in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“The blood is Asmodeus’s. I made a choice; to live. The dagger is stuck in my dress, but only next to my skin. It’s not in my skin.” I smile awkwardly, while my friends looked at me in horror. “I needed to take back control. I had to want to live or I never would.”

I stood and walked to Ash. I cupped his cheek, but didn’t feel anything. My emotions were as they should be and the same was true for Liam. “I’m glad everyone is okay.” My voice sounded strange. I was no longer weighted down. When I smiled at my friends, my family… it was the first true smile of my life.