Buried and Shadowed (Branded Packs #3)(17)

He stood, framed by her front door, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his brow furrowed. Just a few days before, she would have gone to him and hugged him in greeting. His wolf felt so lost and confused that it only made her wolf want to comfort. That was what she did, how she lived, how she breathed. The fact that she couldn’t do that because she’d broken something between them ached.

But it wasn’t a few days ago, and things had shifted between them. She hadn’t wanted to lose Theo in the process of finding herself, of finding a future where she could be whole and survive, perhaps thrive in, but it seemed that choice might be out of her hands.

She hoped they were both strong enough to stay friends. Because while she wanted Oliver and Gibson in her life, it was Theo who had been there for her when she’d had no one.

Mandy shouldn’t have to make a choice, and yet things were never as they were in dreams.

“Hi,” she said finally. Awkwardness settled between them and she shifted from foot to foot. If she’d been in wolf form, her tail would have been firmly tucked between her legs.

“I’m sorry for walking out like I did,” he said finally before closing the door behind him. He let out a breath, his jaw set, but the sadness in his eyes was a mark on her soul.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to walk away.” That wasn’t a true apology and she knew it. Only she didn’t feel like she should apologize for feeling what she did.

She moved toward him then, keeping her hands close to her body so she didn’t accidentally touch him. They were wolves, tactile creatures and used to touch, yet she knew she couldn’t reach for him then, even for a hug, without giving him the wrong impression.

Theo must have seen her indecision. He snorted. “I never asked you, you know.”

She tilted her head. “What?”

“I never asked you if we could be mates. I just assumed. And I guess that makes an ass out of me, huh?” He said it dryly, but she felt the heat behind the words. She wasn’t sure if he was angry with her or himself, but either way, this wasn’t what they used to have and it worried her.

“Theo…”

He shook his head. “No, it’s on me. I get it. I just thought…” He sighed. “I thought we would make it through all of this, this war, this uprising… Together, you know? But I guess I was wrong.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Theo.”

He gave her a sad smile. “You never really had me, it seems.”

Annoyance filled her. “Stop it. What is wrong with you? We were friends. Best friends. And yet now that I’m finally honest with myself, you’re going to be like this? Your wolf doesn’t want me, Theo. You just thought you did because you didn’t have anyone else. You’ll find your mate. I promise.”

His eyes narrowed. “Like you found Oliver and Gibson?” At her pause, he shook his head. “You can’t hide things like that in a den this small. I can’t say I’m happy for you, not yet, and that makes me an *. But as long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

Mandy sighed. “Mates aren’t just supposed to protect each other. There’s more to it.”

“And, apparently, we didn’t have that.” He held up his hands. “I didn’t come here to fight. Only to say I need some space.”

She pressed her lips together.

“I get that that makes me an idiot. An unfair one. But I need some space to think about what I want and what I thought I wanted for that matter. You have Oliver and Gibson now. You’ll be busy.”

That was a low blow, and she raised her chin, not meeting his eyes. Her wolf wouldn’t let her, and it galled her that the other half of herself worked against her. Maybe if she’d been a dominant wolf, she’d have been able to navigate the muddy waters of who she and Theo were without hurting either of them, but that wasn’t the case and she would have to learn to deal.

“If that’s what you feel like you need to do. But remember this, Theo. We’ve been best friends since we could crawl. If you’re going to throw that all away because you’re not getting what you want, then maybe you need to think about the relationships in your life.” She pressed her lips together once more, forcing herself not to say anything more because she wouldn’t be able to take it back.

He studied her face a long moment before sighing. “I want you happy, Mandy. That’s all I ever wanted.”

She blinked up at him. “I think I can be happy this way, for what it’s worth.”

Theo gave her a slight nod. “I’ll…I’ll be back later, I guess. Just stay safe, okay? We still don’t know what happened to Gibson, and the SAU guards are being suspiciously quiet since the higher-ups disappeared. Something’s off, and I don’t like it.”

Something was off about a lot of things, and no, Mandy didn’t like it either.

“I’ll stay safe,” she promised. At his look, she shrugged. “I’ll try to. Is that more honest?”

He gave her a tight nod before turning away and leaving her home. She swallowed hard, her hands shaking at her sides. She hated confrontation, and yet she seemed to be dong a lot of that recently. Mandy ran her hands over her face, knowing she needed to get back to work or she’d go crazy. Oliver and Gibson would be over eventually, and while she was alone now, she wouldn’t be for long. Because of the way the bears and cats had been forced into the den, she now had three roommates, all submissive female wolves who were on shifts in the den center.