Broken (The Captive #5.5)(72)

"Why? I can be useful…"

"No, you can't," he interrupted brusquely. "You're the only weakness I still have."

"What of Merle?" she demanded.

His teeth ground together as he thought of his cousin. Merle was his best friend, his confidante, the one who had always stood by his side, but… "I would walk over his body to burn the world," he told her honestly. "You however, Genny died to save you and I won't let her sacrifice be in vain. If you are near me, I'll worry about you and you'll be a distraction to me. There are things I am going to have to do that neither of us want to see."

Her eyes searched his; her shoulders slumped as she leaned forward and took hold of his hands. Revulsion slid through him, he stiffened instantly at the feel of her skin against his. Her eyes widened upon his and she abruptly released his hands.

"That night with Felix, when I came to get you, you already knew she was in trouble," she said.

It hadn't been a question but Atticus answered her anyway, "Yes."

"What was between you, it was something deeper, something most of us don't feel, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

More tears filled her eyes. "I never thought of it until tonight but you were already halfway through the woods when I came across you. Tonight you were already on your way again, weren't you?"

"I was too late."

"This wasn't your fault."

He wanted to believe that but he knew the truth. "In many ways it was."

Camille shook her head. "You gave her more happiness than she had ever hoped to have, even on your darkest days you must remember that." He remained silent, uncertain of how to respond to her. "You're going to marry that woman aren't you?"

He was relieved when the conversation drifted back to easier waters to navigate. "Yes. Allies are what I will need to accomplish what must be done. That is another reason why I cannot have you around. Your presence will only bring questions that I won't be able to answer."

"I understand." Her lower lip trembled; she began to cry again as her eyes drifted to the blanket. She gently laid her hand upon it. "Genny would want you to be happy."

"There will be no happiness for me Camille, ever again. There can be for you though, and I will make sure that happens."

"Can there?" she asked tremulously.

"One day, yes. For you."

"You're not completely dead inside yet Atticus, you wouldn't be talking to me now if you were."

"And that is why you must be as far from me as possible. I'll make sure that you're taken care of and that you stay safe, but I never want to see you again."

She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "I understand. But how do you plan to marry the woman when you can't even stand to be touched by another anymore?"

Atticus shuddered at the thought of having to lie with Anna, his stomach turned over but then his fingers slid over the gold band on his finger and he spoke the simple truth. "I can do anything for her."

Camille's gaze was unwavering upon him. "Yes, you can."

The front door burst open with a loud bang that drove them both to their feet. "Atticus!" Merle bellowed.

"Not a word," he whispered to Camille.

Camille nodded as Merle appeared in the doorway. Merle's eyes were frantic as they flew back and forth between the two of them. "You're here and you're uninjured!" he blurted and his shoulders slumped. "There was a raid on the village." He was speaking as he walked toward them but he stopped when he spotted Atticus's wet and ruined clothing and Camille's tear streaked face and soot covered clothes. His mouth opened and closed, his eyes shot around the room as a strange look flickered over his face. "Where's Genny?"

Atticus's fingers played over the ribbon in his pocket while he stared at his cousin. He realized he hadn't been wrong; he would step over Merle's body to get what he hungered for. The friendship and love he had felt for him just hours ago seemed to have turned to ash as effectively as his father's manor had.

"Dead," he replied flatly.

Merle's eyes shot to him, he took an abrupt step forward and then another. "Atticus," he breathed. "What happened?"

"The humans raided the village, we were caught in the crossfire," Camille answered when he kept his mouth firmly closed. He couldn't begin to explain what had happened today.

Merle's hand clasped hold of his arm, there were actually tears in his eyes. Atticus forced himself to meet and hold his gaze and to keep the disgust slithering through him from Merle's touch hidden. To keep the hatred and madness securely locked away. "I'm so sorry, I know how much you loved her; what can I do? What do you need me to do?" he inquired fervently.

Atticus squeezed his wrist and stepped away from him. Relief filled him when Merle's touch finally fell away. "There is much that we must do," he answered. "Number one is getting out of England as soon as we can."

"My ship is ready to go. We'll get your father and mine and leave shortly."

"Yes," Atticus agreed, unwilling to reveal that his father was already dead. They would all discover it soon enough. He turned toward Camille. "I'll have my ship readied to take you wherever you wish to go."