Broken (The Captive #5.5)(22)

There may be no choice but for us to leave before Camille is ready. I'm hoping to be able to hold out for another month or two. Not because of Atticus, though I will miss him more than I would miss my own arms and legs, but because we need more money and I would prefer Camille to be stronger. If things continue the way they are though, I'm not sure if either of those factors will matter. I'm no match for Felix.

I don't know what I'll tell Atticus before we leave; I can't just disappear. I won't do that to him, and it would be impossible as I must inform The Council's Watchmen of our intentions, but I'm not sure I'll actually be able to get out a goodbye to him. I'm trying not to think about it too much right now. The time for that will come, but until it does I'm not going to let it intrude upon the happiness that I've found with him.

Sometimes I contemplate telling him about Felix, but I know there's nothing that he can do. Even more than that, to reveal this hideous secret would be an intrusion of reality into a world that right now is more of a dream to me. I'm not ready to let that go, not yet. I also don't want him to know about this. I don't care what other details of my life he knows but this one isn't something I'm willing to share.

If I were honest with myself, I would acknowledge the fact that I'm ashamed about what Felix does to me, ashamed of my inability to fend him off. Atticus can't know about that weakness, he can't know about the horror that goes on in this hovel. It's my shame to bear, and I couldn't stand it if he looked at me with pity, or worse yet, with revulsion for being so weak.

Camille will be going into the woods with me today, she's been asking to see Matilda again and I can't keep putting her off. I've told her that Atticus and I have run into each other again but not much more than that. It's the first time I've ever kept something from her but I'm not ready to share him yet.

I think she suspects something though as she keeps watching me oddly. I hope that they get along well together. They're the two most important vampires in the world to me, they're the only two I've ever cared about. They have to like each other.

***

Genny knew he was there even before she turned to find him leaning against a tree with his arms folded over his chest, smiling at her. His twinkling eyes were the same color as the leaves hanging down around him. He dropped his arms down to his side and rapidly moved down the small embankment toward her.

"Genny, come on, I'd like to get there before Matilda leaves," Camille urged impatiently from the other side of the log.

Atticus's head turned toward Camille, he looked questioningly at her sister but he continued walking until he was standing before her. He smiled as he lifted her hand to drop a kiss on the back of it. "You look lovely today," he told her.

She shook her head at him but she couldn't help but smile. "You're a flatterer."

A mischievous gleam lit his eyes. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. "Not when it comes to you."

A thrill slid down her spine, her toes curled in her boots. His thumb caressed the back of her hand before he stepped away from her. He had a way of making her feel as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, even though she knew she wasn't. When they were together, they were the only two creatures in the world.

He kept hold of her hand while they walked across the log to join Camille on the other side. Camille's striking blue eyes were troubled as she glanced between the two of them. Atticus smiled as he stopped before her and took hold of Camille's hand. Though he bent over her, his lips didn't touch her skin before he released her hand and took a step away.

Even though she knew there was a strange connection between them, one that neither of them could explain, his lack of a reaction to Camille surprised her. Most men could barely take their eyes away from her sister, yet he immediately put distance between them. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Camille didn't seem to know what to make of this as her eyes continued to dart back and forth between them.

"How are you Camille?" he inquired.

"Good… I am good milord," she stammered out.

"Call me Atticus."

"Yes milord… uh ah Atticus."

He smiled at her but Camille bowed her head and folded her hands into the sleeves of her tunic. Genny had never seen her sister look so uncomfortable before, or so distant. "We were going into town. Camille would like to visit with Matilda," she said to Atticus in an attempt to try and ease Camille's nervousness.

"I'll join you," he said.

Genny relaxed as she leaned against his side but Camille kept her head down while they walked through the forest. Genny tried to draw Camille into the conversation but her normally talkative sister remained stilted and reserved as she gave only one-syllable answers in response. By the time they stepped onto the road, she'd barely said more than ten words and Genny's nerves were beginning to fray. She didn't understand what was wrong with her sister or why she kept looking suspiciously at Atticus.

"Do you ride?" Atticus asked her.

Genny gave up on drawing Camille into a conversation and turned toward him. "I've only done so a few times."

"Would you like to go for a ride with me tomorrow?"

"I don't have a horse and if I did I'd probably fall off," she said with a laugh.