Broken Silence (Silence, #2)(9)

His lips pulled up into a small smile.

“Hi.”

My stomach flipped over. I had missed the sound of his voice so much. Let’s face it, I had missed everything about him.

With that brief exchange we fell into silence. I stood still and stared at him, and he did the same. There was so much I wanted to say that I couldn’t figure out what to open with. His eyes bored into me with such intensity I felt naked. Looking at him again, I had no idea how I managed to leave him behind.

His eyes flicked over my shoulder, and he glared at something behind me. I looked around and saw Jasper and Kerry peeking around the kitchen door. It was Jasper’s idea to give us some privacy, yet he was the one snooping.

Cole looked back at me and nodded towards the French doors leading to the back garden. I moved towards the door, and he followed. At least he was coming too and not just telling me to get out…

He closed the door behind us and sat on the step from the decking to the grass. I sat beside him and looked forwards, too scared to make eye contact straight away. When his aftershave mixed with his natural scent hit me, I felt safe again – something I hadn’t felt in four years.

Finally, he turned his head and looked at me.

“How long are you back for?” His question wasn’t what I had expected first.

“Um. I’m not sure. It depends on the trial I suppose.”

He frowned, looking out at something in the garden. What? “I didn’t think you were coming back for it.”

I shrugged. “I wasn’t going to at first. But now I feel as if I have to. You know, to put it all behind me and move on.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have come back? Was I just making this harder for him?

“Sorry, we should have called first. I didn’t want us to meet like this. I wanted you to know before you saw me. Mum did email Jenna, but your internet’s not been working so obviously you didn’t get it. I’m sorry again, we should have made sure…”

“It’s fine,” he said, laughing and shaking his head at me. I had missed the sound of his laugh too. I could hear it in my head, but the real thing was so much better.

“What?”

“Just haven’t heard you ramble like that since we were little kids.”

I nodded and smiled, relieved. “So what was university like?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You really wanna talk about school?”

Not really, but school was a safe subject. I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself, now feeling the cold.

Cole sighed sharply. “Uni was fine. The course was good. Could have done it anywhere.” I dropped my eyes to the floor. Could have done it in Australia, he meant.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. What’s Australia like?” he asked, changing the subject. The small talk thing was awkward; we were way past that and I could tell he wanted to say something else. There was a million other things I wanted to say.

“Hot.” Beautiful. Tranquil. Safer.

“You’re cold now,” he said, nodding towards the goose bumps that covered my arms. I should have dressed for the English weather better. He pulled his hoodie over his head and handed it to me. I bit my lip and took it. Our fingers brushed against each other’s making my heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, England’s not so hot. Thanks for this,” I said and put it on.

His mouth thinned as his expression turned serious. “Do you know when you have to give evidence?”

“Not for a few weeks yet.”

He nodded once. “You staying at Ali’s?”

I turned my nose up. “Yeah.”

“Lizzie’s still the same then?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yep. She calls me now too, wants all the ‘goss’ on Australia’s ‘hot’ surfers.”

Cole frowned. “Right. Surfers… Wait, can you surf?”

I laughed and shook my head. “I tried once but it didn’t go well. I practically drowned and had to be pulled out of the water. Jasper’s pretty good though. Surprisingly.”

It was strange that he could do it. Jasper could drown in a puddle but ride a wave like a pro!

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Cole said, “You finished school in Australia then?”

“You really wanna talk about school?” I asked, using his words.

His mouth twitched into a smile. “Touché.”

“I did, but I had to stay until I was seventeen.” I had never liked school and having to stay for another year wasn’t ideal. Although I was never bullied in Australia so it wasn’t that bad.

“That’s rough.”

I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip. “Please just say whatever is on your mind, Cole.”

“I honestly don’t know where to start.” He lowered his head, looking hurt. It made my heart ache. I was responsible for that look. “You made the wrong decision.”

I tried to force down the lump rising in my throat. “I did what I thought was the best thing for you. I didn’t want you to have to give up everything.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “But that’s exactly what you did. For fuck’s sake, Oakley! How many times did I tell you how much you mean to me? How much I love you? How you are everything to me? I don’t get how you came to the conclusion that I was better off without you!” Present tense. He said everything in the present tense. Did that mean he still felt it?