Broken Silence (Silence, #2)(50)

“And when did this stop?”

“After I turned thirteen.”

“To the best of your memory, can you tell us exactly what happened?”

My stomach turned, and I squeezed my eyes shut. “Yes.” I gulped. “At first Frank would just join me and Dad when we went fishing.” I took another deep breath and swallowed hard. I could hear the blood pumping in my ears. Clenching my hands into fists, I continued. “But after a couple times he started touching me over my clothes.”

“Can you tell us where?”

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. Tell them. Just do it. When I opened my eyes again, I launched into every detail. I told them how I didn’t understand what he was doing at the time, but that it felt wrong, and I didn’t like it. I told them how my dad made it sound normal and something that happened to everyone. I told them I could still taste the amber drink Dad gave me that made me feel sleepy today.

I explained that when I told Dad I didn’t like it, he shouted at me for questioning him and slapped me. I was scared and thought that I’d let him down; I thought he must be really disappointed and must have hated me for him to hit me.

I also told them that when I attempted to tell my mum, Dad arrived just in time to stop me actually saying anything. When we were alone in my room, he threatened some hideous things: he told me if Mum found out, that it would kill her, which at five, I took literally. As I got a little older, he said no one would believe me, and I would be taken away if I dared to make any allegations.

I told them how every time Frank abused me my dad was there, watching. That he took pictures. Lastly, I told them that when I was ten, Dad stood by and let Frank rape me for the first time and that I looked to him for help, but he just stared on with a blank expression I still didn’t understand now.

I didn’t dare look up at the public gallery as I repeated everything that I had endured; not that I could have seen much as my vision became blurred. I’d done it though. I was so thankful that I’d told Mum in private everything that had happened, but Cole and Jasper didn’t know the details. Nor did the rest of my family or Cole’s.

I breathed out deeply. Going through it all again felt like being cut open, but I also felt about a stone lighter. It was such a relief when I finished speaking that I almost broke down. Saying those words aloud, I finally heard them properly for the first time: none of the blame was on me, none of it was my fault.

Letting go of blame was hard, but it was the most incredible feeling in the world. Even if the jury didn’t believe me, I had stood up to my father and that counted for a lot.

“And was Mr Farrell present every time this abuse took place?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Did he ever say anything to you?”

“No. He occasionally snapped and told me to do as Frank said, but after a while, I learnt that he wasn’t going to help and so I just did what I was told to straight away.”

Linda lowered her head, and I think she was telling me not to elaborate too much. I bit my lip.

“Miss Farrell, why did it take you so long to come forward?”

It must seem odd to people that I hadn’t spoken out earlier, but I knew this was nothing unusual for someone who’d suffered abuse.

“I was scared. Scared for my family and scared for myself.” I ducked my head. “And I wanted him to change. I hoped he would change,” I whispered.

A tear slid down my cheek and I made no attempt to wipe it away. Admitting that was hard. After everything he had done it was hard to admit that I had still wanted him to be my dad.

“And what changed your mind?”

“I realised that it hadn’t stopped. He promised me it had when I was thirteen, and when I was sixteen he said he was taking me away on a fishing trip to make up for what happened. I believed that he wanted to make things right and move on. When Frank – Mr Glosser – turned up, I realised nothing had changed and there was no hope for him. And I couldn’t go through it again.”

Linda turned to the judge. “No further questions, Your Honour.”



As soon as I stepped outside the room, I felt a rush of oxygen fill my lungs. I closed my eyes and concentrated on relaxing my body, which was knotted with tension.

“You did great, Oakley,” Linda said softly. “I think your family are waiting for us outside the door. We’ll go out the back way again.” She squeezed the top of my arm and smiled. “You really did do well. You should be so proud of yourself.”

Proud wasn’t something I usually felt, but I did now. “Thank you. Let’s go meet them.”

I followed Linda out of the room and into the hallway. Mum, Jasper, Ali, Lizzie and my grandparents were waiting for me. Where was Cole? Even his parents and Mia were here. I stopped and tried to force a smile onto my face.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Mum grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. “You were amazing, darling. I’m so proud of you.”

“I don’t feel it,” I replied, clenching my shaking hands around her back. Jasper hugged me next, practically pulling me out of Mum’s arms. I sunk into my brother’s embrace, feeling safe and protected.

“You’re okay now,” he whispered in my ear. I was, almost. There was still one trial to go but for now I had half the weight gone from my shoulders. “Ready to get out of here?”