Broken Silence (Silence, #2)(20)

“You want to?” he asked. His eyebrows raised in shock.

“Yes. I don’t expect anyone to understand, but I want to look them in the eye and show them they haven’t won. I want to watch as they’re taken away to prison, hopefully for the rest of their lives. I think then I’ll be able to move on properly.”

Cole didn’t say anything. He stared at me, making me feel uncomfortable.

“What?”

“You’re amazing, Oakley.”

“See that’s what you should say to the ladies,” I joked, hoping it would lighten the mood.

Cole grinned. “Yeah but I would have gotten a slap for calling them the wrong name.”

I laughed for a second; until his serious expression returned.

“I’m serious though. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I don’t have any other choice,” I answered honestly. “I want my life back. They took so much away from me, my childhood, my innocence, even my voice. There’s no way I’m letting them have my future too.”

Our drinks slammed down on the table. I jumped in surprise, having not even seen the waitress approach. She nodded and walked off.

“Thanks,” Cole mumbled under his breath sarcastically, before adding, “Do you think you’ll be okay seeing them again?”

“Not really. The thought of seeing them, seeing Frank’s empty, beady eyes especially, makes me sick.”

Cole balled his hands into fists, his knuckles turned white and his jaw tensed. Maybe saying this to him wasn’t a good idea?

“Do you want to talk about something else?” I asked, staring down at my steaming mug of hot chocolate. Making him feel ill was the last think I wanted.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his arm reach across the table and then it covered mine. I looked up and smiled.

“We can talk about this whenever you want,” he replied.

I knew he was telling the truth. He would let me talk, and he would listen, but I could tell he didn’t really want to. I couldn’t blame him. If it was the other way around I wouldn’t want to hear it either.

“I’ll always be here for you.”

Always couldn’t happen though. We didn’t have an always – once the trial was over with, I’d be back in Australia and we’d have a world between us again. Smiling at him, I squeezed his hand.

“Thank you. They’re going to be there too. Mum and Jasper are going to watch me give evidence.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“No. They don’t know everything, not all the details. I don’t want them to know all of that.”

The statements I had given the police revealed absolutely every last disgusting detail. It was torture reliving those eight years of hell, and I was not looking forward to doing it all over again, especially in front of my family.

Cole sucked air in through his teeth, the hand that wasn’t wound around mine clenched back into a fist. He looked like he was going to explode.

“Right. I didn’t think about that. Do you… Do you want to talk about that with me?”

He looked absolutely terrified that I would say yes.

I shook my head. “No.” There was no way I was going to talk about it with him. Even him knowing it happened was too much. “I just wish it was over already.”

“So do I.”

I also didn’t want it to be over. Leaving Cole and returning to Australia left me with a heavy heart. Hurting him all over again was the last thing in the world I wanted.

“Well, the hot chocolate isn’t too bad.”

He smirked. “Just don’t use the sugar.” I looked down at the ashtray looking pot of sugar on the table and turned my nose up.

“No danger of that.”

“Are you nervous about court? What are you going to say about him?”

“The truth.” The truth was all I had. No one could trip me up because I wasn’t going to hide anything.

“What if they ask you what kind of a person Max was, you know, in public?”

“Then I’ll tell them he was generous, charming, honest, loyal, and trustworthy. Everything everyone believed. Cole, he played the perfect husband, father, and friend. That was why he was able to get away with it for so long. He was my hero until the age of five, and that’s exactly what I’ll say.”

“How can you say nice things about him?”

“Because it’s the truth, and that’s what makes what he did so much worse.”

He nodded and picked up his drink.

I finished my drink shortly after he did.

“You don’t wanna go back to the club, so I’ll take you home?” Cole said, reading me like a book.

“Thank you. Sorry I ruined your night.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Seeing you drunk was definitely worth it!”

I didn’t feel drunk at all any more. The world was moving slightly slower than normal but apart from that I felt fine. Our conversation topic could sober me in a second.

“Well thanks. I can get a taxi back alone if you want to stay though.”

“No, it’s fine,” he replied.

As Cole drove, I snatched a few moments when he turned to really look at him. To me he was flawless. There was nothing I didn’t love about him.