Bring Me Back(87)

He chuckles and moves his thumb to a different spot. “I think I have some idea.” I let my eyes drift closed, stifling a yawn. “It’s okay if you fall asleep,” he assures me. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”

“Mmm,” I say. I’m too relaxed to form words.

I don’t really intend to fall asleep but then I do.

When I wake up, there’s a blanket spread over me and Cole’s up and running around with Ryder chasing after him.

“Hey, you’re up.” Ryder smiles, scooping up Cole in his arms and spinning him around like an airplane. “The babysitter will be here soon and then we can head over to Group.”

I sit up and the blanket pools at my waist. “I’m supposed to get the food this week,” I say, looking around for my shoes. I find them on the floor and bend over to put them on.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ryder says. “I asked Ivy to do it. Next week was her turn so I figured you guys could swap weeks.”

“Oh, good. Thanks.” I run my fingers through my hair. It’s a mess from falling asleep on the couch. “Where’s your bathroom?” I ask. “I need to freshen up a bit.”

“Down the hall on your left.”

I follow his instructions and find it easily enough. I lock the door and stand in front of the pedestal sink. I turn the water on and dampen my hands before patting my face and back of my neck. I dry my hands off on the towel and then run my fingers through my hair, trying to make it look halfway decent after being slept on.

I leave the bathroom just as the babysitter arrives. “Oh,” she says when she sees me. “Hi, I’m Kenna.” She’s young, probably early twenties, with brown hair and a sprinkling of freckles across her nose.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” I wave awkwardly.

She looks between Ryder and me, clearly trying to figure out what’s between us. Good luck to her, because I can’t even figure it out.

“Kenna knows what to do so we can head out.” Ryder nods at the door.

“Bye, Cole,” I say and bend down to the little boy. “Oh,” I cry out as he dives into my arms to hug me.

“Bwy,” he says, in his cute toddler way.

“I’ll see you later, Kenna,” Ryder calls back to the sitter as she takes Cole’s hand and heads to the family room.

Outside, Ryder and I head to our separate cars and drive to the school. We’re the first ones to arrive and I follow him in and help set up.

“What’s on the agenda today?” I ask him.

He shrugs and hands me a chair from the closet. “We haven’t done the cranes in a few weeks since Jason joined, so maybe we should do some today.”

I smile. “Do you think the paper cranes we’ve made have helped anyone?”

He grabs another chair and holds onto it, clearly thinking. “I don’t know, but I hope so, and I guess that’s enough.”

We finish setting up the chairs and Ivy arrives with the snacks and coffee.

“Hey,” I call over to her and wave. She gives me a one-fingered wave, struggling to hold onto everything. “Oh, let me help.” I hurry over to her and take the donut boxes from her.

“I should’ve made two trips.” She laughs. “Lesson learned.”

I open one of the donut boxes and pull out a glazed. “So,” I begin, “my friends want to throw a baby shower for me. Would you want to come?”

She gasps. “Of course. I’d love to.”

I can’t help but smile. “Really?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” She nods. “It’ll be fun. Who doesn’t love all things baby?”

“See, I told you.” Ryder chuckles and opens the donut box I hold, grabbing another glazed. “Mmm, these are good, better grab another.”

I laugh when he takes a second and leaves.

“Men.” Ivy laughs. “They eat everything.”

“Speaking of eating, we need to do lunch again. Maybe we could get take-out and you could come see my apartment.”

She smiles. “I’d like that. I’m excited to see your place. How are you liking it?”

“I’ve only been there a few days, but I really like it. It’s … different, and definitely an adjustment, but it feels right. You know?”

She nods. “Maybe once I see your place it’ll finally inspire me to move on.”

“Aw, Ivy,” I say, setting the boxes down on the table so I can grab some coffee. “Don’t push yourself before you’re ready.”

She sighs. “I should’ve been ready a long time ago.”

I shake my head. “That’s not true. Everyone grieves at their own pace. You can’t push yourself—trust me. That’s led to many breakdowns on my part. And maybe moving out of your house isn’t the best route for you,” I continue. “You have to find your own way.”

She sighs. “You’re sounding more and more like Ryder every day.”

I laugh and glance back at where he stands in the doorway. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not.” She smiles slyly and starts towards the seats. “You’ve got it bad, girl,” she sing-songs.

This time I don’t rebuke her, because she’s right. She’s always been right and I didn’t want to see it. It’s easier to remain blind so you don’t have to accept the truth, but now my eyes are wide open.