Bound in Death (Bound #5)(63)

So he’d kept a wall between them, even though he’d felt her reach out to him several times. If he’d let her in, she might have felt his pain. He didn’t want her suffering as he did.

He hadn’t protected her before. He was trying to, now.

Ryan swiped away the blood that dripped from his lips. Then, just as Zoe said, he crawled away to die.

***

Jane opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Darkness had fallen, she could feel it. An instinctive awareness.

Alerac was beside her, his body a warm and solid weight against her. He’d wrapped his arm around her stomach, pulling her close.

She had more of his memories. So many more.

I’ll take his punishment. She’d had visions of that terrible night again.

But Jane still didn’t remember the actual punishment that she’d endured. And she sure didn’t remember any last minute deal that she’d made with Lorcan, agreeing to bind their lives.

But I know how to remember that deal.

Her memories were gone. Lost. Lorcan’s weren’t. She could retrieve his memories just as she’d retrieved Alerac’s. All she needed was some blood.

Lorcan’s blood.

Her head turned. She stared at Alerac. In sleep, he didn’t look quite so fierce. The hard lines of his face were smoothed some, his hair tousled.

Her fingers lifted and brushed lightly through his hair. Then she bent and pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

Alerac’s eyes opened. The brightness didn’t shock her anymore. She’d seen his memories of the attack.

He’d blocked most of the pain. And instead of seeing darkness, he’d chosen to see her.

As long as Lorcan lived, he would be a threat to Alerac. Lorcan had wanted Alerac’s destruction two centuries ago.

He wanted it now.

“He’s not going to stop,” Jane whispered.

A faint furrow appeared between Alerac’s brows.

“Lorcan will keep coming,” she continued. Just like the monsters in all the movies she’d watched on Saturday nights. “We have to stop him.”

Alerac sat up, and the sheets fell into a tangle near his waist. “We can’t. If he dies, then you die.”

Her fingers rose and stroked over his tattoo. “Tell me why you got this.” She knew—she’d seen it in his memories. Yet it seemed important for him to tell her on his own.

His heart raced beneath her fingers. “It’s my symbol—forever. Eternity.

An endless knot.

“It’s…for you,” he continued, voice roughening. “A design to show that I am bound to you, forever, that I would search until I found you.”

“You found me,” she whispered.

“And I won’t let you go. But I won’t kill Lorcan because I can’t hurt you.”

She’d been afraid he would say that. “What if Lorcan comes after your pack? What if hunts them?” As he’d done before.

When he killed Alerac’s family. She’d seen that memory. The terrible carnage that Alerac had found when he’d returned to his home and found death waiting, courtesy of Lorcan.

Alerac shook his head. “We can defend ourselves.”

No, they couldn’t. “Not if you aren’t willing to kill the one attacking you.”

His hand slid under her jaw. “No one hurts you. You will not suffer again for me or mine—”

She knew her smile was sad. “Oh, Alerac, are you still blaming yourself?”

Confusion flickered over his face.

Jane pulled away from him. She climbed from the bed. Dressed with fumbling fingers. Hurry, hurry.

“I am to blame.” His words were slow. “You suffered for me.”

Enough. She put her hands on her hips and faced him. “I suffered for me. I made the choice. Not you. It was all me.” Because she wasn’t some child to have others determine her life. Not then, and not now. It was still her choice. “I couldn’t stand by and watch you die.”

“Your memory…it’s back?”

“No, your memories are.” She’d seen herself clearly through his eyes. Heard her own whispered confession of love. “Watching you die would have destroyed me.”

And if she didn’t do something about Lorcan, the same fate would wait for her. Lorcan wasn’t going to give up. She turned from Alerac and paced toward the window.

She stared into the darkness. When would another attack come?

Her hand lifted and rubbed over her heart. It was aching.

No, it was burning.

Pain suddenly stole her voice, and Jane doubled over. Her head hit the window, and glass shattered.

“Jane!” Alerac was there in an instant, pulling her toward him.

The burn just grew worse. And, in her mind, she could see the sudden image of her brother. “Ryan,” she whispered. She hadn’t touched his mind fully again, not since that one time when he’d sent his message to her, but Jane knew that she was reaching him in that pain-filled moment.

“What’s happening?” Alerac demanded. His hands were so gentle on her.

Jane forced her head to lift. “He’s dying.”

No surprise was in Alerac’s gaze.

No hope, either.

Jane pulled in a heavy breath. Blood was dripping from a cut over her right eyebrow. The heat from the night drifted in from that broken glass. “I’m not going to let him go like this.” She’d just found him. To lose him now—no.