Bound by Temptation (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #4)(46)

Father tapped his fingers against the smooth wood of the desk. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he looked almost ashamed. Fear gripped me. Again I darted a look at Fabiano but he was glaring at the floor.

The silence stretched between us until I was sure I’d suffocate. “You said to Luca that you wanted me here for a few parties?”

“That’s part of the reason. You need to become part of our social circles again.” Father paused, then he cleared his throat. He looked almost guilty. “Life must go on. Death is part of our existence but we must make sure that our family line stays strong.”

Where was he going with this?

“I’m going to marry again.”

I was torn between relief and shock. At least I wasn’t in trouble but I couldn’t believe, much less understand how he could be considering another marriage when Mother had been death for less than six months. “But—” I stopped myself. Nothing I could say would change a thing. It would only get me in trouble. “Who is she? Do I know her?”

There were a few widows in Father’s age I knew but I wasn’t sure if any of them were his type. Even thinking that made me feel guilty and I wasn’t even the one considering replacing Mother. Maybe Father was lonelier than he’d let on. I’d always thought he and Mother hadn’t cared much for each other but maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe he had loved her in some twisted way. Maybe he hadn’t been able to show it. Some people were like that.

Fabiano let out a low sound, drawing my eyes toward him, but he was still glowering at his feet. Which was probably for the best because Father gave him a look that sent a shiver down my back. I noticed a fading bruise on Fabi’s left temple, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there were more hidden beneath his clothing and if Father was responsible for all of them.

Father’s fingers took up their tapping again. “Ramona Brasci.”

I almost fell forward in my chair. “What?” I blurted. He had to be kidding. Ramona was only one year older than me. She could have been Father’s daughter. She’d gone to school with me, for God’s sake!

I peered at Fabiano again, needing him to tell me this was a joke, but his grimace was all the answer I needed. This was disgusting. Was this some kind of midlife crisis thing on Father’s part? I couldn’t even begin to understand how he could choose someone who could be his daughter.

“In turn,” Father continued evenly. “You are going to marry her Father Benito Brasci.”

And that’s when my whole world shattered. I could see it right before my eyes. All the images of a future with Romero, of happiness and smiles, of sweet kisses and endless nights of lovemaking splintering into tiny pieces, and they were replaced by something horrendous and dark. Something people whispered about in hushed voices because they were worried the horrors might become reality if they spoke about them too loudly. Not in my darkest nightmare had I imagined that Father would marry me off to an old man like Benito Brasci. I didn’t remember much about him, but I didn’t have to. Everything about this was wrong.

I tried to speak but I was mute. I wondered when the first tears would fall. Right now, I still felt too numb.

“You’re condemning Lily to a life of misery,” Fabiano said the words I could only think. He sounded so…old. Like he’d become a man some time when I hadn’t been looking. I wanted to give him a grateful smile but my face was frozen, all of me was. Was this really happening?

This morning I’d still kissed Romero and now I was supposed to marry Brasci.

“I’m making reasonable decisions. You don’t understand it yet, but you will.”

“No. I would never do something like that.”

“You will do worse, believe me, Son.” He sighed. “We all have to make sacrifices. That’s life.”

What kind of sacrifice was it to marry a young woman who could be his daughter? I was supposed to do the sacrificing.

I couldn’t stop wondering when the tears would come but there wasn’t even the trademark prickling yet. There was nothing. I was nothing. Again I tried to call up an image of Benito Brasci, but I came up empty. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t Romero.

“You’ll meet him tomorrow. He and Ramona are coming over for dinner.”

Maybe it could have been funny if it wasn’t so terrible.

“Okay,” I said simply. I sounded collected. Fabiano frowned at me, Father looked immensely pleased. I rose from my chair and crossed the room toward the door. “I’m going to bed. I had a long day.”

“Aren’t you going to join us for dinner?” Father asked, but he didn’t sound like he cared.

“I’m not hungry,” I said calmly.

“Then sleep well. Tomorrow is an exciting day for both of us.”

My hand on the door handle stilled for an instant. A flicker of something, maybe anger, seized my body but then it was gone and I was numb again.

One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. The mantra filled my head as I ascended the staircase. Steps thundered after me and then Fabiano was beside me. He grabbed my arm. He was as tall as me now. He was so grown. These thoughts repeated themselves in my mind. Maybe my brain had been broken by shock, or shut down because the reality of the situation was too much to bear.

“What the f*ck is wrong with you, Lily?” he growled. His voice wasn’t man yet, but not boy either.