Bound by Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #2)(25)

What had just happened?





CHAPTER NINE


Dante didn’t come to bed that night. I waited for a long time, unable to fall asleep, too confused by what had happened. He’d admitted he wanted me, had touched me, but then he’d pulled back. Why? When I woke the next morning, his side of the bed was untouched, and when I walked into the dining room thirty minutes later, his newspaper lay discarded beside a clean plate.

Worried, I approached his office. It was silent behind the door but that didn’t mean anything. I knocked, then entered without waiting for a reply. I didn’t want to give Dante the chance to put up his defenses. Maybe if I caught him by surprise again we’d get somewhere. Dante sat behind a black wood desk and narrowed his eyes when I entered his office for the first time. Maybe he felt like I’d encroached on his personal space again by entering.

My eyes settled on the silver picture frame on his desk. A picture of his smiling first wife. It sat in the middle of the desk as if he’d hastily put it down when I’d opened the door. There weren’t any other photos in the room.

My stomach lurched violently. Trying to hide my hurt, I met his disapproving gaze. “What are you doing here?”

“This is my home too, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is, but this is my office and I need to work.”

“You always do. I wanted to see if you were alright.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be?

“Why? Because you acted very strange yesterday. One moment you’re touching me and the next you can’t get away fast enough from me.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Valentina.”

I interrupted him. “I know, and I want to change that, but you keep pushing me away.”

Dante stood and ran a hand through his hair. “I never wanted to get married again. For good reason.” Again he made it sound as if this marriage had been my idea, as if I had had any say in the matter.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me!” I had enough. I turned on my heel and stormed out of his office, making sure I slammed the door as hard as possible. It was a childish thing to do. I could hear it open again and Dante’s steps behind me. He caught up with me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a stop.

“You have an impossible temper,” he growled.

I glared at him. “That’s your fault.”

“This marriage has always been for logical reasons. I told you that.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to make it a real marriage. There are no logical reasons why we shouldn’t sleep with each other. You slept with prostitutes, so why can’t you sleep with me?”

“Because I was angry and I wanted to f*ck someone. I wanted it rough and hard. I wasn’t looking for closeness or tenderness or whatever it is you want. I took whatever pleasure I wanted, and then I left. What you’re looking for, I can’t give you. The part that was capable of it died with my wife, and it won’t come back.”

“You don’t know what I want. Maybe we want the same thing.” My voice was a bare whisper.

He scoffed. “I can see in your eyes that it’s not true. You want to make love, but I can’t give you that. I do want to possess you, want to own every part of you, but not for the reasons you want me to. I’m a heartless bastard, Valentina. Don’t try to see anything else in me. The business suit and emotionless face is the thin layer covering up the f*cking abyss that’s my soul and heart. Don’t try to glimpse beneath it, you won’t like what you find.”

I was too stunned for a comeback. Instead I watched him return to his office.

***

I spent the rest of the day considering my options. Dante didn’t want emotional attachment. He didn’t even want tenderness. Rough and hard, that were the words he used for the sex he’d sought from prostitutes. He was right. It wasn’t what I wanted, but over the years I’d learned that sometimes you had to settle for the lesser evil to reach some form of happiness. I wanted to have sex with Dante, maybe not the same way Dante did, but who said I wouldn’t like it? And he hadn’t exactly said that he’d be rough with me. He’d only said that I shouldn’t expect fluff and loving gestures from him. I could live with that, couldn’t I?

I wanted to be desired by him. Maybe that would be as good as being loved by him.

It was almost time for dinner but I was hungry for something else as I undressed quickly in our bedroom before I could change my mind and slipped a bathrobe on. I couldn’t walk naked through the house.

My stomach fluttering with nerves, I headed downstairs and toward Dante’s office. I knocked, and this time I waited for him to call me in as I didn’t want to start this seduction attempt with a fight, even if our argument in the bedroom yesterday had been a huge turn-on for me. He opened the door without a word. His cool eyes slid over my body. I wondered if he could tell that I was naked beneath the thin material of my bathrobe.

“Can I come in?”

He stepped back and I walked in. I could hear the door close and then Dante strode past me and turned to me with an inquiring expression. “What’s going on?”

“I made up my mind.”

“About what?”

I opened my bathrobe. “About us. About sex.”