Borrowed Souls (Soul Charmer #1)(55)
“When people—mostly junkies—know they have a hook in you, they milk it until you’ve got nothing left to give,” Derek said. “Hospitals and addicts abusing the system go hand in hand.”
He handed her the vodka tonic, and then added, “Sorry he did that to you.”
Callie’s breath hitched while her body vacillated on the appropriate response. This too-attractive man understood her, which was either the best moment in the last month or the worst moment next month, when it inevitably fell apart. Her pessimist side had a long winning streak, but tonight, as the both of them let go of the awful day, she was willing to give in to a little enjoyment. “Thank you.”
He nodded, and sat next to her. She leaned against his side, and he curled an arm around her. He lifted her chin with a knuckle. “Hit me with your best shot.”
She almost kissed him. Her hand pressed against his chest before her brain realized he meant a question. She blushed at her mistake, but kept her hand on him, because she could. The thin shirt he wore let her almost feel the taut muscles beneath. Derek worked for the Soul Charmer by choice, but this was her chance to understand. Probably. “You understood what the Charmer had done to me.”
He nodded.
“Has he ever used his magic on you?”
His arm grew tense against her back, and he pulled her closer. It wasn’t for strength, but almost like he couldn’t bear to meet her gaze, like he wanted minimal intimacy if he was going to share intense truth, apparently. She understood, but it still cut. Once her cheek rested against his chest, he answered, “Not in the same way he did to you.”
The baritone of his voice was clearer when her ear was against him. The forced gruffness he injected may have disappeared when they were pressed together, but the deflection remained. Evasion was never lost on Callie. “What did he do to you?” she asked. Her even voice didn’t give away the concern rattling around in her brain. The small circles she traced on his chest might have clued him in, though.
Derek stilled her hand with his own, clutching it against his chest. His heartbeat thudded against her pinky and ring fingers. Silence and tight spaces should have been warning signals to Callie. Danger had found her there before, but while her heart hurried to match his rushed pulse, panic refused to rush in. Her anxiousness was different, milder and intriguing.
“He takes a run at me every so often,” Derek said, as if she was supposed to know what that meant.
Her soft hmm urged him to continue. “He tests me.” He paused, and squeezed the arm wrapped around her tighter.
She wasn’t going anywhere. “What do you mean? Like your loyalty?”
“He can read people real well. You found that one out the hard way. He knows I won’t screw him over.”
“Any man with that much power expects people to fear him, I guess.” She feared both Charmer and Ford for those very reasons. The Soul Charmer had the edge now, though, because magic in action, writhing beneath her skin, was goddamn terrifying.
“That they do, doll.” He eased his death grip on her.
“So what is he testing?” Pushing probably made her an asshole, but she had to know. It made her rotten to want him to be violated by magic, too, but deep down she did. She didn’t want to be alone. Derek might have stepped up for her tonight, but was that out of understanding? Delving into why she wanted this connection to him wasn’t something she was ready to explore, but the need wasn’t going away.
“Magical ability.” Two small, benign words, spat with the disgust of discovering a bone buried in a sandwich.
He masked the morose with vehemence, but Callie was too familiar with that dance as well. Her mom used to pull the same shit. But instead of the normal disgust with Zara, a pang of sympathy struck her. “He’s looking for an heir?” Her lightness was fake, but she was trying.
“Yes.” Oh. He continued. “You ever notice I don’t use that flask?”
“Well, yeah,” she said after a moment. They’d just been giving her something to do, she’d thought.
“It’s because I can’t.”
How much harder had his repo gig been before she tagged along? Callie had never even considered that.
“The Charmer’s tried forcing magic into me, over and over, but every time it just makes me really fucking sick.”
“Sick?”
“Worse than a week’s run of the flu. How fucked up is that? I want to be more involved in this business, but I’m not good enough inside to do it. I physically can’t do anything magical.” So that was the burn for him. All his physical strength didn’t count when it came to the renting side of soul magic. He was the man who could find solutions to any problem, except this one.
“You told me before that it’s about being morally ambivalent, right?” Callie asked, trying to soothe his worries. “That’s why he could use me. Maybe you’re too good for this line of work. The Charmer sure as shit isn’t good inside. I think it’s wonderful you aren’t wired like he is. You are good. To me.” She turned her face into his side and kissed the thin fabric stretched over his shoulder.
His muscles softened, but he wasn’t letting go yet. This tit-for-tat game was too much. “You’re good inside. That’s why you think that. Flexible morals and that goodness is why you can take the magic.”