Bombshell (Hollywood A-List #1)(87)

How could I tell her she did? When we were alone with Nicole in the dark, I was complete. She had to know who I was. She had to see me because I’d opened myself to her. I hadn’t opened up to anyone, and I realized how much I needed her to see that. To know that she stood inside the open door of my heart.

I loved her. I needed her. She couldn’t turn her back on me over this. I wouldn’t allow it.

A minivan came down the highway, slowed. The side door slid open and two girls, no older than twelve, waved and called out, holding up their camera phones.

“Brad Sinclair!”

I waved, but I wanted them to go away. My first reaction was to flip them two birdies, but they were too young. So I turned my back on them and when I faced Cara again, my defenses were up.

“This is what I am,” I said. “I’m not deep. I’m just trying to hold this job together.”

She shook her head ever so subtly.

The minivan driver got the hint and sped away as the girls squealed.

Cara and I?

We were just locked in a wordless battle.

I didn’t know what was on her mind. I couldn’t read past the anger. I couldn’t look away. Couldn’t move. The stillness of our bodies was a lie in my case. My mind was on fire. Should I apologize? Should I say it was a mistake? I could grovel and spend hours dismissing the decision as the worst yet in a series of bad decisions. I could beg and plead for the case of love.

But I wasn’t going to.

I’d done what I had to do, and I didn’t lie about it. I just kind of more or less chose not to think about it.

The cord between us snapped when the car door opened.

“Daddy?” Nicole stood in the dirt with her legs crossed.

“Yeah?”

“I have to pee.”

“Can you make it fifteen minutes?” Cara asked.

“I think so?”

“Let’s roll,” I said, happy to be away from that shitty scene at the side of the road. I had no idea it would get worse. I didn’t even think it was possible.





CHAPTER 68


CARA


Nicole made it. What a kid. The best kind of kid. The kind of kid you met in a bathroom and said good-bye to in a bathroom. The kind of kid you loved face-to-face and had to leave when her father’s assistant sent you screenshots of documents denying he wanted a child. I could have forgiven him. I don’t know how, but maybe if he’d admitted it. He didn’t need to apologize, but pretending those documents didn’t exist and getting self-righteous about them made me want to hit him over the head. I was going to run away instead.

It took me the entire ride to the airport and the seven minutes to the first-class VIP lounge to absorb how angry I was.

I couldn’t handle this relationship.

I couldn’t handle Brad Sinclair. I couldn’t handle his fame or his dishonesty. I couldn’t trust him. Today it was lies about rejecting his daughter. Tomorrow? Who knew? How deep was I going to get before it got to be too much? And how much closer to Nicole would I be by the time I had to leave?

Nicole flushed the toilet herself. She wiggled her pants up with the seriousness of solving the world’s problems. I crouched by her and watched as she moved her shirt out of the way so she could tie the bow on her waistband. She did it slowly so she wouldn’t make any mistakes.

I’d fallen in love with a man and his daughter and it was a disaster.

She looked at me through her hair.

“Should I double knot it?”

“No. I think it’s fine.”

She pulled her shirt down.

“Okay! Let’s go fly high in the sky!” She clapped once and sent one hand far into the atmosphere with a breathy whoosh.

I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her so close I could feel her heartbeat. I held her longer than I should. Until the hiss of the toilet tank stopped and my knees ached. I held her until she wiggled so hard I had to let her go.

“I love you,” I said. “I love you, and I’m always here for you. Please always remember that.”

She put her hands on my cheeks.

“Okay,” she whispered close to my face. She poked the inner corner of my eye. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m afraid you’ll forget.”

“I won’t.” She put her fingertips to my lips then twisted them. “I’ll take it, lock it.” Her fingertips went to the breast pocket that wasn’t there. “Put it in my pocket.”

I laid my hand over the place where she’d put my love. “Keep it forever.”

“I will. It’s pink. I don’t throw away pink things.” She ripped a square of toilet paper off the roll. “Here.”

“Thank you.” I dabbed my eyes, but I still cried inside, because I loved her and she wasn’t mine to love.





CHAPTER 69


CARA


The private lounge had leather couches and a dedicated bartender. The concierge had set aside a corner for us and placed subtle barriers between Brad Sinclair and the rest of the world. He sat with his back to the rest of the room, and his mother read last month’s YOU magazine. She folded her magazine, stood up when she saw me, and met us halfway across the lounge.

“Grandma, can I get a donut?”