Bombshell (Hollywood A-List #1)(40)

“Let me pick up both kids. Let me talk to them. Let me cook for them one more time and eat with them so I can answer their questions. Have whomever it is start after dinner.”

“No. We’re doing it this way.”

This is why you don’t get attached to the kids. This is why you do your job and think about something else and try to have your own relationships. You protect your heart as if your life depended on it. And you fail, but you try.

I snapped the suitcase shut.

“I’ll take that check now.”



Nicole wasn’t generally a deep sleeper, but I had to get out from under her. It had gotten dark an hour ago, and I had to use the bathroom. Carefully, inch by inch, I slid out, tucked her in, and did my business.

When I got back to the bedside, I looked out the window. I could see the pool house, where my own bed was, the pool itself, the people surrounding it, mellowed by the night. The music had slowed too. It would be harder to slip back to my room without being noticed.

I wasn’t cut out for this.

What did Ray want? What was happening with Willow? What would happen to Nicole if I left?

She’d be fine.

They’ll all be fine.

I had no power. No control. No say in any of it. And I could be wrong about anything because they weren’t my kids, and I’d never have my own.

Let it go.

On the patio, Brad bro-hugged some guy. On ground level, in the daylight, I could probably identify him. But from Nicole’s room he was just a guy talking to my boss, a loyal man with huge talent, a relaxed demeanor, and an earnest sense of humor.

He was just another thing I wanted but wasn’t allowed to think about wanting.

Self-pity tasted worse than a hangover. I hated it.

I left, walked down the hall, the steps, through the living area, the floor wiped to a sterile shine. The screen door was open. I closed it behind me and skirted the outer edge of the pool area, taking my powerlessness with me.





CHAPTER 30


BRAD


I was at the mellow stage of the evening, but the evening hadn’t caught up. I sidelined at the pool watching everyone dance and swim. The bartender flirted. The security guys made themselves scarce. The DJ I hired at the last minute was famous in his own right, and shit was going nuts.

And I was Mr. Pensive holding the same warm beer for twenty minutes. I didn’t fight it. Mellow was all right.

I saw Cara slip out the back door and make her way around the pool fence. Walking quickly, her hair bobbed in the rhythm of her steps. Sensible flats for chasing a kid around. Jeans and blouse that would have looked dumpy on any other woman looked sexy as hell on her.

If I was thinking about settling down, which I wasn’t . . . but if I was thinking about it, she was exactly the kind of woman I’d look for. Even without Nicole. It wasn’t about that. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, and her mind was really on point. She could shoot a mean game of nine-ball.

None of that was even on my radar, if I was being honest with myself. That was after-the-fact shit. And the fact was she turned me on. She wasn’t supposed to. But man oh man, something about the canned peaches scent and the body she tried to hide.

I knew what she had, and it was perfect. Even through the steam on the shower doors.

I didn’t realize I was deep down the rabbit hole until Arnie crossed paths with her. Said a few words with a laugh. Shit. Nothing that came out of that guy’s mouth was anything I wanted Cara to hear.

She said something back and as she walked away, he slapped her ass.

I was halfway across the yard before I consciously decided to move.

“Arnie, you stupid f*ck.”

He had his hands out as if to say, “What did I do?”

Fuck him. I could deal with him later.

I chased her.

“Cara,” I called.

She turned.

“I’m sorry, for him. About him. Whatever. Not whatever. Fuck!”

I hadn’t felt inadequate since I moved to Los Angeles. I got breaks few of my friends got. Girls worshipped me. Look, that’s the fact. I could sugarcoat it in humility, but you wouldn’t believe it. I was a king and a hero as far as I could see.

Well, right then I felt two dollars short for the ninety-nine-cent lunch.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.”

She leaned on one foot and looked up.

“Okay it’s not fine. Just keep him away from me, okay?”

“I will.”

“I have the monitor.” She indicated the pool house but didn’t look at me. Like she couldn’t.

“Sure, sure.”

Dude. She wants you. Do you see how she can’t look at you?

I was making stuff up in my head. And it didn’t matter. She was an employee. The most beautiful employee I had. The most essential. The warmest. Biggest pain in my f*cking ass— She went through the obstacle course of people and furniture, taking the most direct route to the back. I followed her as if she had me on a string.

I couldn’t let her go. She drew a circle of sanity and caught me in it. I needed five minutes of her time. She relaxed me. Made my life seem just a little less crazy. I didn’t know what I wanted out of her, but I couldn’t get that mellow back while I wanted her against reason.

I got to her at the gate to the pool house.