Bombshell (Hollywood A-List #1)(32)

I could have said a few dozen things Nicole wasn’t ready to hear. That a lot had changed since I’d been with her mother. That I might have come for her, eventually. That I was actually not nice. Not nice at all, but I could be if I tried.

“I’m glad I met you,” I said. I meant it. I was glad I could be there for her. I wouldn’t be half the parent her mother was, but at least I could buy her bathing suits that fit even if she didn’t wear them. That had to be worth something.

“You too, Daddy. Can we try it on? The suit! Let’s try it on!”

She ran to the bathroom to try on the huge bathing suit her mother promised she could wear.





CHAPTER 24


CARA


“We had a pool,” Nicole had said to the lifeguard. “In number thirty-four!” Thirty-four was apparently her old apartment number. She wore a pink, white, and blue one-piece halter with a flower applique at the neck. She and her father insisted it fit. It didn’t. Blakely and I jury-rigged an elastic belt from another suit, a few safety pins, and tight swim shorts into something weird but functional.

“My mom taught me. Watch!” She jumped in, wiggled underwater while I held my breath, and popped up, doggie-paddling her way to the edge. The lifeguard gave me the thumbs-up, but I stayed in the water to watch anyway.

Blakely and I were at the Greydons on a playdate.

“Her mother was really on top of it,” Blakely said.

“Yeah. Like Superwoman. Did you know she took her to work?”

“At Coffee Chain?”

“She’d stay in the cabinets if her mom couldn’t get her a sitter. Honestly, her mother must have thought Brad was the worst of the worst. Which is totally unfair, if you ask me. He’s all right.”

Blakely peeled her socks off and put her feet in the pool. Behind her, Michael and Laine Greydon sat at the patio table with another couple.

“Not for nothing.” Blakely stretched her legs. “You’re falling in love.”

“She’s a nice kid is all.” I backed away from the kids to let them have fun. “She asks the most wonderful questions and—”

“I’m not talking about the kid,” Blakely said softly. “That was expected. You’re powerless against children. It’s Brad Sinclair.”

Being in the same house with that man was getting difficult. He constantly did an end run around Paula to sit with Nicole and me. He had a way of moving that made me think of sex. His good-old-boy routine hinted at a set of core values I could relate to, even if he didn’t live those values, I could almost, sometimes, in slivers of moments . . . kind of . . . see it.

Unless I was making it up in my head.

“He’s attractive.” I didn’t look at her. She’d know I was lying. “Any woman in America will tell you that.”

My denials felt hollow. If I couldn’t convince myself I wasn’t attracted to my boss, I wasn’t going to convince Blakely. Once she heard about the shower (Oh my God, that is so tacky) or undressing him while he asked me how I liked to f*ck (Oh my God, that is so hot), I went for broke and told her about the dreams and morning fantasies (Oh my God, you’ve got it bad), and she decided something was going to happen between us no matter how much I denied it.

“Just don’t end up on the cover of a tabloid.” She kicked a little spray of water. “Not for screwing your boss. It’s awful. Really awful.”

“I’m a professional,” I said, catching myself too late. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you aren’t.”

“No, you are. I’m not. I sat in the limo last night thinking. I want to be an actress. I got sucked into this world because the money’s good. But I can’t do this anymore.”

I got up on the step.

“What do you mean?”

“I think I have to quit.”

I don’t know why I was surprised. Maybe it was the time and place, or the fact that she was telling me and not Paula. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn’t reacting to getting a part, or a callback, or even a meeting.

“Are you sure?”

“No-yes-no?” She cringed as if she thought I’d be mad. “I know you went out of your way to get me this gig and I appreciate it. But I saved up enough to get some stuff done. Just enough so I look different. Now I have to go do it.”

“This plan you have? It’s nuts. Totally crazy.”

“I’m in a crazy situation.”

“You’re disfiguring yourself.”

“Cara. Don’t be that way. Haven’t you ever wanted anything so bad you’d do anything to get it? Ever?”

“You should leave your lips alone. You have great lips. I’d kill for them.”

“Fine. No lips.”

I had the sneaking feeling of being left behind. I was about to become what my friend Blakely “used to be” before she “realized she wanted more out of life.”

Was it wrong that this was all I wanted? Taking care of children was fun. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed Nicole and her father, even if he was the most slippery slope I’d ever tried to climb.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I need change. A lot of it.”

“Don’t be.” I sat on the ledge next to her. “I’m a big girl.”