Boarlander Silverback (Boarlander Bears #3)(43)

“You shut the f*ck up. He was supposed to help you, and I’ve been down at the sawmill limping along, waiting for him to come back to my crew. You left a f*ckin’ hole in my group, man. And what the f*ck do you mean she’s yours, Kirk?” Kong was yelling now. “You can’t pick up your damn phone and let me know what’s going on anymore?”

Kirk was growling a low, terrifying noise and pacing, always pacing, glowing gold eyes on Kong. He still had his shirt on, and a dark gray beanie covered his long hair.

“He has trouble saying how he feels,” Alison murmured, neck exposed.

“But not with me!” Kong yelled.

Kirk was to him so fast he blurred, and he slammed Kong against the wall with such force, it splintered behind the Lowlander silverback. “Fucking talk to her like that again, and I’ll kill you.”

“Kirk, be easy on him!” Layla pleaded. “I… Kirk, I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Kirk asked, releasing Kong instantly.

“I’m pregnant.” Layla’s face crumpled, and her eyes filled with tears. “You were supposed to be in our group, helping us raise our child, but you want to leave. Can’t you see? His animal can’t just let you go.”

“Tell me why,” Kong rasped out.

Kirk ran his hand over his beanie, pulled it off, and chucked it at the wall. “Because, Kong! You and Layla will have a baby. Lots of babies if you’re lucky, but I have no shot at a family if I stay under you. I’m not just some blackback in need of your protection. I’m a f*cking silverback under a more dominant silverback. You stifle my instincts!” Kirk looked sick. “You always have.”

A wiry man with dark, greasy hair popped his head into the stall. “You two are up next. Five minutes.”

“Thanks, Judge.” Harrison growled to Kirk, “I need to wrap your hands.”

Alison didn’t know what to do, but the air was so thick it felt like mud in her lungs, and she was going to suffocate soon. “I love him.”

Kong and Kirk both jerked their gazes to her.

“What did you say?” Kong asked low.

Alison looked from him to Layla to Harrison to Kirk. Softly, she murmured, “I love you. And I think,” she said, attention back on Kong, “he won’t be able to love me back if you stifle his instincts again.” Her voice dipped to a broken whisper. “And I really want him to love me back.”

Kong stared at her for a loaded few moments, then sighed out the word, “Fuck.” He kissed Layla’s forehead, his hand resting gently on the slight swell of her stomach, and then he pulled his shirt over his head. To Kirk, he said, “I didn’t know it was like that.” He slid a reluctant glance to Harrison and nodded once. “Fight granted.”

Shoulders shaking, Layla hugged Kirk’s shoulders, and then followed Kong out of the stall.

Harrison’s sigh tapered into a growl as he pulled Kirk’s hand away from his side and began to wrap his knuckles with white tape. “Keep him still, will you?”

Alison looked behind her, but it was just her in here with them now, so she approached Kirk slow.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes on the work Harrison was doing on his hand.

“This is a big deal, Kirk. I should’ve heard about it from you.”

“I have my reasons for not telling you.”

“Because you are worried about me?”

“Yeah, Ally! Yeah. Ignoring that this place isn’t all legal eagle and it could affect your job, you’ve gone through trauma, seen bloodshed. You told me yourself you were diagnosed with PTSD, and I don’t want to make it worse on you. I want to protect you from this.”

“Protect me from part of you? Because that’s what this is, Kirk! It’s a part of you that I wasn’t invited to see. You have to fight. I get it.”

“You don’t.”

“I do! You have a dominant animal side, and deep instincts I can’t even fathom. I’ve already told you, I’m in this.” She rested her forehead on his arm and murmured, “Hiding won’t protect me, mate. It’ll hurt me. You’re choosing the Boarlanders, and we’re in this together.” She lifted her eyes to his. God, she hoped she had the words to make him understand. “You choosing a crew doesn’t just affect you. You’re choosing a crew for me, too.”

Kirk clenched his jaw, and a muscle twitched there, but his voice lost the feral edge. “I didn’t think about it like that.”

“Other hand,” Harrison demanded over the ripping sound of the tape.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “Now go out there, win this fight, and make us Boarlanders.”

He searched her eyes, his long, damp hair hanging in front of his face, his expression fierce, and his features sharp as glass. Kirk leaned down and kissed her hard. He nipped her bottom lip and released her, then rested his forehead on hers and murmured, “I will.”

“All right, I’ve got to get his head on straight,” Harrison said. “Bash is out by the rail. He’ll make room for you.”

She could feel Kirk’s eyes on her as she walked out of the stall, and as she rounded the corner, she paused, took a steadying breath, chugged the beer in her cup, and made her way toward the ring. Did she want to see Kirk fight another dominant silverback? Hell no. But shifters lived by different rules, and she either had to accept all of him, or she had no business reaping the benefits of these friendships. She had to be strong enough to support him no matter the outcome of tonight.