Blurred Lines (Love Unexpectedly #1)(55)

I blink. She’s right, of course. I don’t get to decide with whom Ben goes on a date, but it’s just…it’s just…

Lori is studying me closer. “You’re okay with this, right? Because you’re sort of giving off this vibe like I’m breaking some sort of girl code or something—”

“No! I mean…of course I’m fine with it. It’ll be a little weird when—if—things don’t work out between you, but worst case I’ll just hang out with the two of you separately if that happens.”

She breathes a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. I mean, I know that you try to keep your girlfriends away from him, and I can’t even blame you, it’s just…I think about him all the time. And sometimes when we make eye contact I feel a little…something, you know?”

“Sure!”

My voice is too high, too hyper, but Lori doesn’t seem to notice.

Even though I don’t think Ben’s going to be dating anyone—even someone as great as Lori—I can’t stop the montage of hideous images from going through my head.

Lori and Ben holding hands. Kissing. The four of us on double dates.

Ugh.

Lori looks at her phone. “Oh, crap, how is it two already? My yoga class starts in twenty minutes. You cool if I ditch you? I can come back over later.”

I shake my head. “Don’t even worry about it. I’m mostly done. It’s just throwing the rest of the stuff in boxes. Plus, it’s not like I’m moving across the country. If I have to make a couple trips back here over the coming week to pick stuff up, I will.”

“So Ben hasn’t found another roommate yet?”

I shake my head. “Not yet, but I think his friend John is a likely candidate. His lease is up in a month and he’s been looking for a cheaper option.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you,” Lori says, pulling her bag over her shoulder. “Adorable as you and Ben are, you can’t do the Will and Grace thing forever, you know?”

I smile faintly. “If you’re hoping to coax Ben into a relationship, you’re probably not going to do it by comparing him to an iconic gay character. He likes the opposite sex too much.”

She waves this away. “You know what I mean, though. It’s good that you end it before you wind up codependent and sabotaging your other relationships. This is a smart move.”

I nod unenthusiastically. I’d been hearing that sentiment a lot lately. Casey, my mom, Lori, Lance…even my dad. Everyone seems in agreement that it’s time for me and Ben to “get on with our lives.”

Everyone seems thrilled by this new development, my moving in with Lance.

Everyone except me and Ben.

Lori leaves for yoga, and it’s just me and my depressed thoughts.

I should be excited.

The whole point of this move is a fresh start for me and Lance. A chance to commit to someone who loves me, and who wants me for more than booty calls and the occasional trip to IKEA.

So why do I feel like I’m in mourning?

There’s a not-so-soft knock at the door, and it opens even before I respond.

It’s Ben. “Hey.”

“Hey!” I say back. “Come on in!”

But, of course, he’s already inside, flopping down on my bed. “Thought I’d see if you need any help.”

I lift an eyebrow, and he looks sheepish. “I know. The offer’s a little late. It’s just…moving sucks, you know?”

It’s a cop-out, and we both know it, but since I haven’t exactly been myself lately, either, I let it go. I’m just glad that he’s here, and that things seem…well, not quite normal, but at least we’re talking.

“So what can I do?” he asks.

I point at the closet. “Finish packing my shoes? Lori started a box, but I swear it took her five minutes to place each pair just right—”

I watch as Ben scoops up an armful of shoes and dumps them unceremoniously into a box.

“I see that’s not going to be a problem with you,” I say dryly.

He grins, then repeats the motion. “How many shoes do you have, woman?”

“The fact that you added woman to the end of that sentence tells you all you need to know. A lot.”

“I hope Lance is prepared to clear out eighty percent of his closet,” Ben says, holding up a pink wedge and looking at it skeptically before throwing—yes, throwing—it into the box as well.

It’s the first time since I told him that I was moving in with Lance that Ben’s even mentioned my boyfriend’s name.

And yes, Lance is my boyfriend again. Not that we’ve, um, consummated that status, but I’m moving in with the guy. Of course he’s my boyfriend.

Still, I’d avoided having Lance come by the house as much as possible. The thought of seeing him and Ben in the same room is just too much.

“So, how happy are you to have a bathroom all to yourself?” I ask, my voice determinedly chipper. “All that hot water. Oh, and you’ll have complete control of the remote. And your beer won’t have to share the fridge with my champagne. And there won’t be any long dark hair clogging the shower drain, and—”

To my utter horror, my voice breaks then, and I realize that I can’t even see the necklaces I’ve been trying to untangle for the past two minutes because my eyes are so filled with tears.