Blindness(92)

“I’ll be a’right,” he says, pulling his long-sleeved T-shirt up over his head.

“Cody!” I say, my eyes darting between him and the door.

“Oh, yeah…right,” he says, turning around and flicking the lock in place. When he turns back to face me, he’s wearing the grin. It’s so cocky and confident—and it amazes me every time he does it, because on anyone else I think I would despise it. But when Cody flashes me the deep dimple—his lip curled up only on one side and his eyes heavy and intense—I melt. I absolutely die and become desperate for him.

He kisses me before I’m ready, and I back into the shower on instinct, carrying him with me, soaking his jeans and the towel that’s now barely clinging to me. I giggle uncontrollably, and I can feel Cody’s smile stretching across his face while he’s kissing me, but he doesn’t stop. He pushes his jeans down to his feet and kicks the now sopping-wet denim out the shower door along with his boxers and socks, laughing when the clump of material gets stuck on his toes. He tosses my towel out next, all the time our lips not parting, despite how much our bodies are moving and our faces are grinning.

In seconds, though, my laughter is replaced by rapid breathing, and Cody has me pinned against the back wall. The hot water is quickly steaming up the entire room. Cody’s chest is flush to mine, and his hands are roaming my arms and bringing them above my head where he holds my wrists together tightly while he continues to kiss me. My eyes roll back as he leaves my lips, trailing his tongue down my jaw and finding his way to each of my breasts.

It’s like he’s drinking me in, the way he’s devouring me. He’s forceful and rough as he bites at my skin, his hands starting at my hips and rolling up my stomach and breasts until they’re buried behind my head and tangled in my hair. Cody’s pulling my face tightly against his again, kissing me and sucking my bottom lip between his. The roughness of his unshaven face is what I notice most—not because it scratches, but because so many times I stared at it and wondered how it felt, wanted to rub my cheek across his jawline and feel it.

Cody pauses, holding either side of my face in his hands, and presses his forehead to mine. His breathing is hard, and his thumbs are stroking my cheeks gently while he looks at me.

“The way I see it, your aunt can’t hear a thing over that damn vacuum,” Cody whispers in my ear, biting at it lightly before he backs off and looks me in the eyes again, tucking his bottom lip under his teeth and smirking to the side. I don’t say anything in return, only mirroring his look, letting him know it’s okay—that even after everything that happened—this trip to Louisville, the way Trevor found out—this is okay.

Cody runs his hand slowly down my back, trailing his fingertips slowly until he reaches my hips. His grip becomes stronger as he reaches under the back of my leg, and then pulls me forward, bending my knee and wrapping me around him. I’m caught off guard, my heart beating too fast to give me time to look at him—and I can feel him hard against me.

“Cody, we can’t…” I start, not wanting to stop him, but also not wanting to have unprotected sex with him in the heat of the moment. I know all too well what can happen when people make rash decisions out of passion. And that worry consumes me. It’s why I’ve always been so scripted with Trevor—every intimate moment carefully planned.

Cody backs away, but only for a few seconds. He reaches into the pocket of his wet jeans for a condom and pulls it on quickly. He’s back in front of me in seconds, and I suddenly find myself full of nerves. My hands are shaking, despite the steam surrounding me; I’m shivering, and I feel like I might faint.

“We don’t have to…” Cody starts, when he feels my hands quiver in his.

“No, I want to. I want you—here and now. I just, I feel like I might not be enough…like you might realize you made a mistake. I’ve never done anything…you know…like this?” I say, my face flushing with embarrassment.

Cody reaches under my chin and pulls my face up to look at him. “Neither have I,” he says, and I laugh it off at first, but his grip is strong on my face, not letting me shy away.

“Look at me, Charlie. I mean it—neither have I,” he shrugs his shoulders and raises the corner of his mouth, shaking his head and grinning. “I love you. You’re the first. I’ve never felt anything like I feel when I’m with you. Yes, you’re sexy as hell, and that part of me wants you for the way you look right now, soaking wet and naked in my arms.”

“But this part…” Cody lifts my hand in his and presses it flat against his chest. “This part wants you because it needs you. It needs you to live and survive. And it scares the shit out of me, Charlie, because I’ve been burned before—and I wasn’t in love then. But I’m more afraid of what might happen if I don’t try. I’d regret it for the rest of my life, and I’m sure of it. So the only mistake I could have made was leaving you alone, letting Trevor take you away—not telling you how I feel. But being with you now? Coming here with you and holding you all night in my arms? Feeling you tremble in the shower in, oh, say about 15 minutes? Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s no way in hell I could ever think any of that was a mistake.”

His eyes are drilling into mine, and his smile is soft and sincere. If there was ever a doubt that I wasn’t supposed to be with Cody—that what I felt wasn’t real—it was completely dashed by the things he just said. I smile at him, biting my bottom lip, trying to look sexy—trying to get back to that moment before I hesitated. My gaze dips down in that second, and I take in the words written within the scrolls on his chest: