Blindness(48)

“Well, it’s a pretty ring. You should marry the guy that gave it to you. He must want to marry you really badly. It looks expensive!” She’s half whispering now, like we’re little old ladies sharing gossip.

“Okay, well that’s a good point. I’ll be sure to take that into consideration,” I smile, taking the ring from her and putting it back into my pocket.

“How come you don’t wear it?” she asks. Kids—no filter. It’s normally adorable, but right now it feels a bit like therapy.

“Well, I’m sort of still deciding, and it doesn’t feel right to wear it if I’m not sure I want to say yes,” I say. God, what is it about this kid? She has me admitting things out loud that I still haven’t allowed myself to say in my head.

“Right,” she nods. “Well, think real hard. That’s a nice ring, and the next one might not be so nice,” she says. I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. Funny how spot on she is. Trevor’s ring is clearly the nicest thing I’ll ever own—it’s Harry Winston, and it’s at least two karats. I’m pretty sure it out-prices my Honda when it was new.

What’s funnier is the thought of a next one. I’ve sort of banked on my life going one way, down the aisle with Trevor. I’ve never really imagined anyone else standing there waiting for me in a tux.

The attendant slides the drink cart through, and I take a bottle of water. Sophie is busy coloring, so I take advantage of the little time left on the flight and shut my eyes, leaning back in my seat. It takes only seconds for my imagination to betray Trevor and show me a future with Cody. But as hard as I try, it’s never right—the image never quite clear.

He just doesn’t fit the tux, and I can’t seem to put more than two people on his side of the church—Gabe and Jessie. My side is overflowing with people, until I realize that most of those are acquaintances and professional contacts I’ve made with Trevor. I erase them from my mental seating chart, and I realize the only people left are my crazy aunt and Cody’s childhood friends from the wrong side of the tracks. I choke on the water I’m sipping and open my eyes at the absurd thought.

Minutes later, the captain announces our landing, and I help Sophie pack up her belongings. The attendant comes to help her off the plane first, and Sophie surprises me by reaching around and giving me a hug. I kneel down and hand her my uneaten bag of peanuts.

“Here, I saved mine for you. You earned them by doing such a good job,” I say. She grabs them and clasps them in her hand while she walks toward the gate.

I’m a little jealous that my new best friend is on her way to meet someone. There’s a person at the end of the hall who will greet her, hug her, be thrilled to see her. My first interaction is going to be with the app on my iPhone for the Super Shuttle.

I’m not used to sitting in the front, and I see now why people fight to board first. With only a carry on, I’m out of the plane and winding through the gate seconds after we’ve landed. I already see Sophie’s curly hair mashed up against the chest of a large man who has actual tears in his eyes at seeing his daughter, and it makes my heart feel terribly hollow. I force my lips to smile at the sight, because I know that’s what’s natural, but inside I’m sad.

“How was your flight?” a voice near me asks.

I scream out in a breathy gasp, and my bag drops to the floor. Cody reaches down and picks it up, pulling the strap over his head so it crosses his body. I must be dreaming, still on the plane—asleep—when I thought I only shut my eyes to rest them. Because Cody is here, and I see how all of the pieces fit. It’s a small ceremony, and I’m in a white cotton dress. He’s wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and we’re both barefoot by the river. My aunt is there along with Jessie and Gabe, and there’s a minister who I swear I’ve seen before. Our rings are nothing but bands, no diamonds or engravings. Everything is simple, but perfect. The water ripples beneath our feet, there’s the faint sound of fifties music piping through Cody’s truck and then he’s kissing me.

I startle again when he brushes into me, waving his hand in front of my face. “Hello, earth to Charlie,” he’s chuckling.

“Oh, uh…flight. Yeah, flight was good. Short…how?” I say, pointing at him directly. The last thing I said to Cody was in a text, and I told him I couldn’t give anymore. Yet here he is, standing in front of me. He smiles with tight lips and nods at my question.

“Trevor,” he says, his face falling before he turns and continues walking ahead of me. Trevor? Why would Trevor call Cody, of all people in the world? He would send Shelly for me first. Hell, he’d charter a special jet and race me home before he’d let Cody be the one to welcome me.

“Wait a minute,” I say, pulling on the strap of my bag and forcing Cody to stop. “Trevor called you?”

Cody doesn’t even turn to look at me, just shrugging my bag back in place over his shoulder. “Yeah, he called me. He’s all freaked out and shit because you left early. Said he needed me. The whole thing was really…well, strange.”

Cody turns to face me just before we hit the elevator bank to head down to the garage level. His face looks tortured, and I feel my fingers tingle wanting to touch it. I stuff my hands into my pockets instead.

“Why’d you come?” I ask, not sure what I want him to say in response.