Black Moon Draw(15)

“You don’t have to,” I say uncomfortably, already feeling self-conscious without her seeing my chubbier body.

“’Tis an honor to meet you, more so to assist you.” Her expression is genuine, her eyes the most amazing shade of green.

I’m so jealous, I can’t speak and just nod.

The material of the dress is softer than my sheets and nightgown. She drapes it over my head and tugs it into place, tying a thick piece of fabric around my waist at the back. She picks up some sort of bodice acting as a really complicated bra and upper body shaper. It seems stiff but really isn’t too uncomfortable when she gets it in place. I’m still wearing my own bra and underwear.

I don’t normally wear dresses and the ankle-length layers are kind of annoying. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to move fast in this thing without tripping.

“Can I ask who you are?” I venture.

“Daughter of the former Red Knight and sister to the current Red Knight,” she replies. “I am betrothed to the Shadow Knight. I ride with his armies, even if I am not permitted into battle.”

How did I not see that coming? The Red Knight, the most incredible, intense, amazing looking man ever and his equally beautiful sister?

The symmetry of their perfection is enough to make me want to throw up.

She’s looking at me like I should congratulate her or respond.

“I met your brother,” I murmur. “He’s an . . . interesting man.” It’s the only way I can think to describe an admitted gigolo with an imprisoned teen in the bench seat of his carriage and the desire to leave this book to find its author.

She smiles. “He is a fair man, one who hopes my bonding with the Shadow Knight will help end the wars.”

Because what man wouldn’t want to be with this woman all day instead of at battle?

I nod. “You can turn around,” I tell the boy. “Do you happen to have any shoes? Boots? Whatever you call them here?”

He opens the box he was sitting on and pulls out suede boots. They appear new and match my dress. I’m not certain how comfortable they’ll be until I sit and pull them on.

They fit like they were made just for me, as if someone measured my feet while I slept and molded boots around them.

Which is a really, really creepy thought.

The princess is watching, her features radiant. Even on my best day, my skin hasn’t been that clear.

“What do you do for, um . . . bathrooms?” I ask, embarrassed.

The squire points.

Turning around, I see an outhouse in the corner where nothing was before. “That’s really . . .” Whatever. It’s a book. If outhouses magically appear, I’ll be thankful I’m not peeing on the ground.

I walk in, do my business, and leave. When I look over my shoulder, the outhouse is gone again.

Not going to say anything. I grit my teeth. I’m making a list of things to tell LF when this adventure is over.

“Sister!” the call comes from outside the tree. A second woman enters, this one the exact opposite of the beautiful woman. She’s short and squat with medium length, stiff dark hair and skin a tad too pale for her hair, and darker green eyes. Her eyes are close together, her nose large, and her bangs blocking the upper half of her face.

Sister? I look between them. One makes me feel as pretty and special as a weed while the other makes me feel like the most beautiful orchid in the world.

“You are not supposed to be here!” says the ugly duckling.

“I do as I please, as well you know.”

Ugly Duckling is angry. Her thin lips are pressed together, her cheeks flushed.

“Excuse my sister. She has a much more disciplined view of our roles here,” the Disney Princess tells me, her smile warm and words gentle.

“’Tis not our roles that bothers me. You were warned!” the other responds. “You must return to the rear!”

Disney Princess smiles elegantly and sweeps out of the tree, a trail of flower-scented perfume trailing.

The squire sighs dreamily as she goes, his eyes on her form. I can’t blame him. I’d give anything to be her size.

So the Shadow Knight does have a love story. I’m not certain what to think of that. I guess I thought . . . well . . . hoped . . .

Whatever. This isn’t my world. I shake my head, dismissing the Beauty and the Beast couple. With any luck, I’ll never see them again and can leave this place.

“Hey. Wake up and tell me where I’m supposed to go,” I say, snapping my fingers in front of the squire’s face.

“Aye. We will go.” He pulls out a round shield of stiff leather with straps, followed by a sheathed sword much smaller than the barbaric Shadow Knight’s. Offering them to me, he starts to smile.

“No, thanks,” I say.

“You’ll fight them without weapons? With only your magic?” There’s awe in his voice.

“Uh, no. That’s not really the plan.”

He appears confused by this. I feel bad for him, but am more concerned about finding my way home than whatever it is he’s talking about.

“You should wear this,” he advises me, holding up the shield. “In case someone attacks you, the way they did the last great warrior queen of Black Moon Draw.”

I start to decline then review my experience in this place so far. “I think that’s a great idea,” I tell him.