Big Shot(51)
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Connor drawled sardonically. “Don’t you think I didn’t see that tension between the two of you every time you were in the same room together? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that both of you were trying not to give in to temptation.”
Wes rocked back in his chair, trying to process the knowledge that Connor had known all along. “Why didn’t you say something to me?”
“Because I didn’t want the two of you getting involved,” he said bluntly. “Not because you’re my best friend and she’s my sister. I didn’t want you to break her f*cking heart, because that’s what you do, Wes.” He raised a brow, his gaze pointed and resentful. “But it looks as though that happened, anyway.”
Wes didn’t mind owning up to something that was his fault and he was responsible for, but he wasn’t keen on taking the blame for something he didn’t do. The only way Wes could have broken Natalie’s heart was if he’d been the one to walk away. But that hadn’t happened, and he wanted Connor to understand that.
“I know I don’t have the best track record with women.” As soon as the statement was out of his mouth, he laughed dryly and shook his head. “Hell, I don’t even have a track record when it comes to relationships, because I’ve never let myself get involved longer than a few dates. That’s the way I’ve always been, so I get why you think I’m the bad guy. But just to clear things up, ending this . . . relationship,” he said, because what he’d shared with Natalie had been more than just an affair or fling to him, “was Natalie’s idea, not mine. If I had my choice, we’d still be together, officially as a couple. But clearly that wasn’t what your sister wanted.”
Connor leaned forward in his chair and braced his forearms on his thighs, scrutinizing Wes a moment before speaking again. “Are you . . . in love with her?”
Wes gave the question serious consideration. He’d always had feelings for Natalie, and a few weeks ago, had he been posed with the same question, he would have said he cared for her. Because what the hell did he really know about love?
But what he felt for her now was so much more than just affection and caring and attraction. Being with Natalie was like a powerful drug and the best kind of addiction. When he was with her, even lying in bed holding her when she was sick, he felt happy and content. And when they were apart, he was constantly thinking about her and how soon he could see her again. He wanted to make her happy. He loved fighting and arguing with her because she was so feisty and full of fire, and he loved that she wasn’t afraid to stand up to him, to go toe-to-toe over something she believed in. And he hated how empty and quiet his house was when she wasn’t in it.
But mostly, the thought of not having Natalie in his life was like a crushing blow to his heart.
“Yeah, I love her,” he said, the words sounding rusty to his own ears. But what if she didn’t love him back? The mere possibility made him feel as though he couldn’t breathe.
Connor frowned at him, obviously seeing his panic-stricken expression and guessing at the source. “Look, I’m going to let you in on something, and if you ever tell Natalie I told you this, I will not only deny any knowledge of this next conversation but I will also kick you in the nuts so f*cking hard you’ll never have sex again.”
Jesus, this was serious. “Okay,” he said cautiously.
After hesitating a few seconds, Connor spoke. “When Natalie was nineteen, I read something I shouldn’t have, and she would be pissed if she knew.”
Wes was definitely intrigued.
“She was living at home and going to UIC,” he continued, referring to the University of Illinois at Chicago, where she’d attended classes. “I was working on a construction site and stopped by after work to pick up something my mom still had packed away in my room, but no one was home. No big deal, I used my key to get in, and when I walked by Natalie’s room, her door was open and I saw what looked like a book on her bed. But it was pink, and I thought that was odd, so I picked it up and flipped through it . . . and realized it was her journal.”
Connor’s face flushed and he shifted on his chair, and Wes almost smirked to see his friend so uncomfortable.
“I know I should have put it down and walked away . . . but I didn’t.” Connor’s chagrin grew. “I was a dick and read some of the entries, and I just kept turning pages, because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Natalie was in love with you. Not a little-girl crush or a teenage infatuation, but judging by the words she wrote, it was the kind of love a woman feels toward a guy who means everything to her. You’ve always been that guy, Wes, and I’m pretty damn sure you still are.”
Wes had no words. None. He was too blown away by what his friend just told him. He could easily rationalize that Connor reading the journal entry was a long time ago, that Natalie’s feelings were no longer the same, that she’d dated other men and had a long-term serious relationship that could have led to marriage. But what did Wes expect? No woman was going to wait around for a guy who showed no signs of ever loving her back, and the easiest thing to do would be to move on and start fresh . . .
Just like Natalie was moving on to Atlanta and beginning a new life there. Was she taking the job because she believed he’d never be capable of giving her what she wanted? What she needed?