Beyond the Cut (Sinner's Tribe Motorcycle Club #2)(56)
“Best present I ever got.” He nuzzled her neck. “But I like what’s inside the present better.”
“We should get back to the party or your brothers are going to break down the door. What fight were they talking about?”
“We hold fights on the last Saturday of every month at the clubhouse with our key support clubs. Mandatory attendance. Get a fire going, barbecue, coupla cold ones, old ladies and sweet butts…”
“I usually work on Saturdays.”
He wanted her there. He wanted her to watch him fight. His woman should see his strength and rest assured he could defeat anyone who challenged him. Or threatened her. “Take if off.”
She gave him a tight smile. “I need the money so I can see the girls.”
He withdrew to dispose of the condom. When he turned back, she was already off the desk, her dress in her hand. Frustrated that their moment of intimacy had been so brief, he dressed in silence. But when they were both ready to go, he leaned against the door.
“I got money…”
“I don’t want your money. I earn enough to pay Shelly-Ann and my expenses and save up for when the girls come home.” She hesitated. “They are coming home, right? That was the deal.”
Cade shifted his weight and rubbed his palms on his jeans, unaccustomed to asking for anything, and especially something he desperately wanted. “Yeah. I talked to Jagger after the meeting. He’s gonna speak to Wolf as a courtesy to let him know what’s going down. But the fight … you got an obligation as my old lady to be there.”
“I have on obligation to my children, Cade. They come first.” She straightened her clothes and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”
When his brow creased, she looked away and bit her bottom lip. “I thought you’d be happy. We both benefit from his arrangement and the sex is hot. But I’m not looking to tie you down, and I don’t want to get too involved with the club.”
His hand fisted by his side. He knew her well enough to know she wasn’t being entirely truthful with him. This wasn’t just about sex to her. She cared enough to bring Hegel to check his back, and to dress up tonight; she’d opened up to him outside her house. And those little glimpses into who she really was made him greedy for more. He figured her hesitation stemmed from a lingering fear of Jimmy. But if she came to the fight, he could show her he could protect her. He had ten straight wins under his belt. Maybe then she wouldn’t run away.
“I want you there.”
She gripped the purse in her hand so hard her knuckles tightened, and when she looked up the pain in her eyes shocked him. “I can’t handle the violence, Cade. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Trust doesn’t come easily to me. And the way I feel about you scares me. The things you do scare me. If I have to see you actually fight in the ring, I don’t think I’ll be able to trust you not to hurt me. Every time I’ve trusted someone I’ve been hurt and betrayed, and I don’t want to feel that way about you.”
“Every time?”
She hesitated and dropped her gaze. “It wasn’t just Jimmy.”
His body went taut, blood heating through his veins. Jesus Christ. His girl just couldn’t catch a break. “Who?”
“After my parents died in a car crash, I was sent to live with my uncle. I didn’t have any other living relatives. He … touched me. At first, I thought he was just comforting me. Then he wanted more. He wanted me to show my gratitude for his care. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I was lonely and lost. I didn’t have any friends or family in Seattle, and I was afraid if I told someone, I would have no one. So I endured it for a year until my fifteenth birthday when he made it clear touching wasn’t enough.”
Cade couldn’t move for the pounding of his heart. If he’d ever thought his life had no purpose, he had a path now. First, Mad Dog. Then the uncle. Then every other person who had ever hurt his girl.
“That night when he came to my bedroom, I grabbed my bedside lamp and knocked him out. Then I ran away with my purse and the clothes on my back. I didn’t even take a picture of my parents with me. I took a bus out of state and got off in Helena when my money ran out. For a while, I lived with in an abandoned building with a group of street kids, and when my luck ran out and a pimp decided to add me to his stable, I met Jimmy.”
“Never again.” His seething brain couldn’t form the words he knew she needed to hear. The murmurs of sympathy and understanding. The words of consolation. He couldn’t even touch her, because if he did he would never let her go. Her pain was his pain. Her past was his future.
“It’s okay, Cade. It’s over. It was one more lesson about how to survive and fight for what I want. I don’t waste any time thinking about it.”
Fucking hell. What a woman. All the f*cking abuse she suffered, and she owned it.
“You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”
“Means everything to me,” he said. “Tells me everything I need to know.”
“What do you know?”
He crossed the distance between them and took her in his arms. “I know I never met a woman as strong and smart and beautiful as you are. Never met a better mom than you, doing so much for your kids with so much damn love it f*cking shines around you. Never met anyone I wanted to share the worst part of my life with. And I never had a woman give me a present that made me want to ditch my own party so I could spend the night showing her how much it was appreciated.”