Between the Marshal & the Vampire(21)
"So you want only to dominate. It has nothing to do with love or attraction, just putting us in our places."
She thought she'd kept her voice even, but something must have leaked through. Satisfaction flashed in the depths of Vellum's eyes.
"Why, Mariel? Would you like it to mean more? Do you, deep inside, yearn to win the heart of a vampire? Do you need to believe that each time I touch you it is with increasing affection for you? Is it love with a monster that you seek?"
"Stop it," she snapped, hurt and embarrassed but angry, too, especially since she'd felt a touch of jealousy over the lover he must have had while he was human. "I'm not in love with you and you're not a monster. You only pretend to be. I think—I think it's how you protect yourself."
Something like surprise touched his face.
"I don't pretend anything," he said eventually, no hint of teasing or mockery in his voice. Rather, he looked thoughtful, perhaps even cautious of her. "Clay illustrated the truth of the matter: your kind and my kind are uneasy neighbors. We will never live in harmony, which is why you'd be smart to guard your heart, Mariel. Desire and lust do not equal love when you're dealing with a vampire."
"If I loved you, you wouldn't know what to do with it."
His arm shot out, too quickly for her to block, but it was only so he could curl a hand behind her head and fondly caress her hair. "You're right, Mariel. I wouldn't know what to do with love, so save it for someone who does."
He didn't turn his head to look out at Clay, but Mariel understood that was whom he meant. She found it odd that Vellum would be interested in playing matchmaker. He shouldn't care about their fates, yet something told her Vellum was trying to make amends for dragging them with him.
It made her think: what kind of vampire was he truly if he'd been turned against his will? This life, such as it was, had been forced upon him. Had he been given the choice, he would be human.
You are lonely, she thought with sudden understanding. You never wanted this, and now you can't turn back.
"In a month, yours and the Marshal's lives will return to normal," he told her, and offered her an unusual smile, free of the slightly superior, cocky attitude that had inhabited his others. "Keep that moment in mind, Mariel. That's where your future lies."
He stepped away from her, allowing the night to rush into the space between them. His eyes glittered, cold as starlight. "In the meantime, we'll enjoy each other's company and know it for what it is…and what it is not."
He was warning her. It was a kind act, truthfully, but Mariel wasn't in need of kindness. Kindness she could find back in Willowtown as she changed the bedding or swept the floor of the inn. Kindness she had known with her husband Carl, who had left barely an imprint on her heart and soul. She had severed her connection to that kindness the moment she opened Vellum's crate. She might never be an airship captain but she could still be the type of woman she'd always suspected and hoped she could be: fearless, brave, and perhaps a touch foolish.
Those were the attributes of adventurers, and at the heart of her, Mariel had always believed that love was the last and greatest territory left to conquer. Perhaps it was time that she should.
~~~~~
Riding by the light of the stars and a cloud-covered sliver of moon could be considered romantic by some. Clay was the sort to find it so, though his choice of riding partners would have differed drastically. Oh, he was more than happy to have Mariel with him, but the vampire, Vellum, put a considerable damper on thoughts of romance.
Still, the situation could have been worse. Clay was apt to look on the bright side of things even if he was a realist. It was the only way to sleep at night after seeing the victims of criminal acts and after pulling the trigger himself. When you saw a child no older than seven strung up in a tree alongside his mother and father you developed your defenses quickly, or else you became like the small-town sheriffs he came across all too regularly, who had a look in their eyes that said they didn't expect to do any good and hoped only not to make things worse.
Clay didn't ever want to give up hope that he could make a difference in the world, even if that world included vampires. Problem was, now that he'd met Vellum, his idea for how he could make a difference—by eradicating the creatures—had taken a solid blow to the chin.
He puffed out his cheeks and released his breath with a sigh, then regretted it when Mariel glanced worriedly at him. He knew what she thought, that he dwelled on Janie's death and wanted revenge. That had been true up until today, and he couldn't help feeling guilty that he'd changed his mind so quickly.
But what would revenge do for Janie, especially inflicted against a different vampire? The unfortunate and unsatisfying truth was that the dead found no pleasure in revenge obtained on their behalf. Revenge was for the living, but Clay had run across far too many people who'd met their own deaths trying to settle scores. Or, they had achieved what they'd set out to and then discovered life didn't magically improve. If anything, the fire that had driven them blew out, leaving them as the husks of the men they had once been.
Clay had no intention of killing Vellum—assuming the opportunity ever presented itself—not unless the vampire hurt Mariel. Then, well, maybe Clay would end up like those men he'd encountered and nothing would allow him to rest until blood was spilled. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. He had a vested interest in seeing him and Mariel make it to Everton Fort alive. Putting Rhody Beaufort away had become a secondary concern of his. The stress and the life-threatening situation had underlined yet again the truth: life out here was short. Clay had feelings for Mariel and he wanted a chance to explore them with her. Though he hadn't been a Marshal for longer than a decade and was still a young man, he'd had enough of the job if it stood in the way of him having a strong, beautiful woman to come home to on a regular basis.