Between the Lanterns(54)

After composing himself somewhat, August went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. The covers were still down from the last time they had woken together. He reached out and touched her pillow. Fresh tears fell from his eyes and he found the strength to read more of the letter.





I had been sick with stomach cancer, but Dr. Granger cured it and repaired all the damage the disease had caused inside of me. It was after that, when everything was back to normal, that he found the Countdown. I kept it all from you to spare your feelings. I didn’t want you to worry.





August stopped again and covered his face with his hands. She had kept it from him to spare his feelings… just like his granny had done… just like he had kept his worries and feelings from Sam the past few days. It was like God was punishing him for not being honest.

“Oh, so now I believe in God?” August asked himself sarcastically. “Now that I need someone to blame? I can’t believe this is happenin’. What am I going to do without you, Sam? I can’t… I just can’t…” He trailed off and read on.





I didn’t want you to worry. I know that sounds stupid, sweets. And I know that you’re probably cursing my name right about now. I hate that I’m doing to you what your granny did. It’s not my intention to make you go through that again. But it’s my death. My life. I didn’t want to spend the last few days of it laying around crying about our lost future. I wanted to spend those precious last few days making love to you, and reading on the couch with you, and having a picnic with you. Those memories will stay with me in Heaven forever.





August threw down the unfinished letter and paced the room. He was alone… utterly alone. Forever. She had left him. It wasn’t her fault, but that didn’t change anything. If August was being honest with himself, he could see why she did it this way. It was her choice; she was right about that. Her life, and her death. It didn’t make this hurt any less for him, though. He picked up the letter again.





Those memories will stay with me in Heaven forever. But Heaven might just have to wait. You don’t have to be alone, sweets. I’ve given you a choice. Inside the envelope are two boxes. One of them is my ashes. Take them and spread them wherever you travel, all over the world. Leave a part of me everywhere you go. Or you could choose the other box. It’s your SameSoul prototype. I’m in it.





August dropped the letter this time and dove for the envelope. He plunged his hand inside and pulled out a box containing his wife’s remains. He stared at it for a long minute, before kissing it and placing it on the dresser. “I love you, babe,” he whispered.

He reached back in and pulled out the other box; the SameSoul. The one he had thought lost or stolen for days. One of the reasons he had been in such a bad mood recently, and Samantha had it the whole time.

“Damn it, woman,” he muttered. August stared at the SameSoul and rolled it around in his hands. Then he picked up the letter to finish reading it.





I’m in it. If you want me to be with you for longer, just call Woodrow, and he’ll come. I’ve dressed him in a few of my old things. You know what to do from there. It’s your decision, sweets. I’ve given you a choice because you are my everything. I have loved you more than anyone has ever loved someone else. I’ve loved you more than scientifically or spiritually possible. I have loved you, August, my tinkerer, my life, my one and only. I still love you and will always love you. I’ll see you at some point soon; either through the eyes of an automaton or at the Pearly Gates waiting to embrace you. Goodbye, sweets.





And that was it. Nothing more. August had to decide whether to let her go to Heaven, which he knew she wanted, but he wasn’t even sure if it existed or not, or to put her into Woodrow, which would be selfish and was something he knew Samantha didn’t want.

How could he possibly make that choice? August took the box containing her ashes from the dresser and opened it. Inside was another sealed container, but this one was translucent. He could now see what remained of his wife.

“But those are only her physical remains,” he thought.

In his other hand was her essence. Her consciousness. He could talk to her right now. His wife was the only person who could make August feel better. August could tell her how much it hurt not to have her here. He wanted to tell Samantha how much he loved her right then.

“Woodrow! Woodrow,” he called out loudly. “Get in here! Woodrow!”

August immediately heard the sound of clacking wood coming down the hallway. It rattled like the unrolling of a wooden plank bridge.

Woodrow stepped into the room, and the sight initially made August laugh; until he remembered the significance of the wooden automaton’s appearance. Woodrow had on a baseball cap that August had given to Samantha a few years ago, which said, “Kiss the Cook” on it. The automaton was also wearing Samantha’s wedding and engagement rings on a chain around its neck. But most importantly, Woodrow wore a navy blue dress with white dots all over it.

The sight of that dress sent August into a fit of sobbing again, and he fell onto the bed; burying his face in Samantha’s pillow, breathing in the smell of her hair. It was faint, and August knew it would only grow weaker every single day. Soon, he would forget the distinct scent of his wife’s long black hair. His favorite fragrance in the world was now gone forever, and so he greedily inhaled the last remnants.