Betrayed by Magic (The Baine Chronicles #5)(68)

“I suppose not,” Haman said, shrugging. “The pregnancy was unexpected, and initially unwelcome, from what she said. She was very dismayed to learn that Haman wasn’t here, after going through considerable trouble to track him down. She was angry at his deception, for she might have used stronger protection had she had any idea he was a very powerful mage. That can make a difference, and there might have been a full moon.” He shrugged. “I am hardly an expert though.”

“No, that makes sense.” The full moon boosted a shifter’s power, and it helped increase the chances of conception; that was why the heat always coincided with a full moon. Coupled with my father’s mage powers… oh. Iannis was a powerful mage too. I would have to remember to track down some kind of potion or spell to prevent pregnancy the next time I was in heat, as it would create a huge scandal if I got pregnant before Iannis and I were married.

Of course, the idea of bearing and raising children with Iannis was a whole other topic that needed to be thought about. But now was not the time for it, so I firmly pushed it aside.

“So, did you give her my father’s address?” I demanded. “And did they get in touch? Does my father know about me?”

“I did tell her your father’s address,” Haman said. “Given his family’s prominence in Castalis, it is common knowledge. But I highly doubt Haman knows anything about you.”

“What!” I nearly came out of my chair. “Are you saying she decided not to tell him?”

“I convinced her not to,” Haman declared. “I explained that if she approached Haman, it would create a terrible scandal. His engagement would be broken, and his entire family would be disgraced. Of course, your mother was very surprised to hear this, and that he was engaged. For her, it had just been one of the usual ruts that shifter females engage in to get through their heat.”

That note of disgust entered his voice again, and I wanted to punch him in the face. Who was he to judge us? Did his race not create us to be like this?

“In any case, your mother did not want anything particular from him; she simply felt you ought to know your father.”

“Clearly, you didn’t feel the same,” I said, bitterness creeping into my voice.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Ballos protested. “I was doing your mother a favor! Your father might have taken you away from her, to Castalis, and hidden you away in shame. More likely, given their attitude to shifters, he would have repudiated you altogether. As a mage-shifter hybrid, you would not have had much of a future anyway, and I told her so.”

I opened my mouth, anger burning like hot coals in my stomach, then closed it. What the hell could I possibly say to that? Ballos was right—all of those things were very possible futures for me, had my mother told Haman about my existence. But still, what if there was a chance he would have loved me? After all, Ballos seemed to think my father had been infatuated with my mother. Surely, there had been a chance.

“If my father doesn’t know that I exist,” I said slowly, curling and uncurling my fists in my lap, “then who put the binding on my magic?”

“I did,” Ballos said. “As a favor to Haman, who was one of my better students. I told your mother that in exchange for her silence regarding your father’s name, I would bind your magic so tightly that it would go undetected by the school tests. I performed the spell shortly after your birth, though it was difficult since, even then, you showed evidence of very strong talent.” Something like regret passed in his eyes. “It is too bad that you were not born a full mage—you would have made Haman proud.”

“Yeah, pity that.” I sneered, unable to keep the scorn from my voice now. “It’s clear to me that everyone would prefer I wasn’t a hybrid.”

“Well, it would make the lives of everyone much easier,” Ballos said with another sniff. “But I suppose what’s done is done, and you have made yourself a good life, all things considered.”

With nothing more to say, I gave Ballos one last look, then collected Rylan from the parlor and left. Stepping out into the last rays of the setting sun, I tried to feel grateful that, for the most part, I had come out on top. But as I stared out at the dilapidated yard, and the horizon beyond, all I could feel was sadness.

“You okay?” Rylan asked, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Seems like you might have gotten more than you bargained for out of the old man.”

“I just feel unwanted,” I admitted, turning to face him. “I mean, I don’t doubt that my mother loved me once I was born, but I was clearly the result of an accident.”

“Maybe, but your entrance into our lives was wonderful all the same,” Rylan said, giving me a hug. “You’re a treasure, cousin, and judging by the entirely inappropriate looks the Chief Mage gives you when he thinks no one is looking, I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

I laughed, smacking him on the chest. “You’re not serious!” I said, stepping back to see the twinkle of mischief in Rylan’s eyes. Iannis had an incredibly good poker face—no way would he let that sort of thing show in public.

“One-hundred-percent serious,” Rylan said, grinning. “He’s got the hots for you.”

“Oh, stop.” I laughed again, shaking my head as we began heading down the steps. “You’re ridiculous sometimes.”