Betray the Bear (Bear Valley Shifters #4)(17)

“How were the meetings?” Hannah asked.

“Good. The budget was approved to order twenty more solar panels and we’ll be building three new houses beginning next week. Cameron has been on a tear with the finances.”

Hannah turned to Anya and explained, “Jo is thinking about applying for a council member position at the next alpha challenge and is trying to learn the ins and outs of the colony. So she sits through boring meetings all day.”

Joanna laughed. “They’re only boring to you and Jenny. I find them fascinating. Anya, I bet you would too. Things are run so differently here than under Nathan.”

“I’ve noticed.” In fact, she could hardly find any similarities and it was disconcerting. If the Long Claws knew there was a different, more peaceful and efficient way to run things, would they follow their blood thirsty leader so blindly?

“I heard that you aren’t Nathan’s only mate,” Hannah said low.

So she and Joanna must have been gossiping. Anya inhaled the fresh mountain air, and plucked a blade of long stem grass from the field they were walking through.

“I’m not the only one, but I was the first.”

“Did you know there would be others when you had the ceremony?”

Ceremony? There hadn’t been one. “No, I thought I was it. I felt pretty duped when he brought Greta and April in. And now he has Merit too.”

Hannah’s delicate eyebrows flew upward. “What?”

Crap, she’d forgotten about how much Merit had hurt Hannah. “Oh, yeah. Um, Chase told me some of what Merit did to you. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know.”

An uncomfortable silence blanketed them, and in an effort to save the conversation, Anya admitted, “Greta and I used to call her an evil shrew when no one else was around. I told Nathan I didn’t like Merit before he threw me out.”

“She is a terrible, horrible person,” Hannah whispered in a haunted voice. “Evil shrew is a fitting name.”

“She and Nathan deserve each other then.” Anya didn’t know why she said that, only that it felt right, and wasn’t just some ploy to get these women to trust her. Both manipulative and cruel when they felt like it, Nathan and Merit really did match each other well.

At the end of the week, she was supposed to meet Nathan on the edge of Bear Valley territory with information about this clan, and she’d gathered exactly nothing she could use against them. And the biggest part of her was glad she hadn’t. Maybe she could just make stuff up.

“Here’s Daria’s house,” Hannah said, interrupting her troubled reverie. “We’ll wait out here, and then take you to Chase.”

Just the mention of his name sent a trill of anticipation down her spine. Her stomach clenched and warmth spread through her middle as she imagined, for the tenth time today, his flexed body as he had washed his face last night.

The door to Daria’s house was open and the fragrant smell of herbs and spices and dried lavender filled the air. The windows were open, filling the large front room with natural light and everywhere, plants in different stages of drying hung from the low rafters. She ducked under and upside down bushel of blood flowers.

“Hello?” she called out.

“In here,” came Daria’s reply.

Anya made her way to a dining area, or what would’ve been a dining area if the table hadn’t been made into a sterile surface to receive patients.

“You must be the Long Claw transplant,” an older woman with gray streaked hair pulled back into a ponytail said.

Her smile was friendly and Anya relaxed. “I am, only arrived last night. I wondered if I could ask you some questions that I was unable to ask my healer back home.”

“Sure, dear. Have a seat.”

Settled across from the healer, she fidgeted, unsure of where to start. Best to just say it. “I haven’t had a heat in over eighteen months. I was wondering if that meant my child bearing years are finished.”

Daria looked surprised, then patted her hand, which rested clenched on her knee. “Without a proper examination I’ll only be guessing, but I’ve seen this before. You were mated to Nathan, yes?”

Mated to him? The term sounded more and more wrong, especially with everything she was learning in Bear Valley. Manipulated or misused sounded more like it. “I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I thought I was.”

“And you weren’t the only female he had, correct?”

A nod was all Anya could muster.

Daria leaned forward, eyes serious. “Did he make you happy?”

This was the question she hadn’t planned on. Happy? She didn’t even know what that was anymore. But if she admitted the truth, out loud, she’d never be able to go back to the way she was. Her admission would change something fundamental about her, and she wouldn’t be able to go back to living under Nathan’s thumb. If she admitted how unhappy she’d really been, her fractured world would crumble to dust and ash around her.

“Anya?” Daria said, coercing the dreaded words from her throat.

“No. I wasn’t happy.” Even to herself, her voice sounded weak and strangled.

The healer didn’t look surprised, only sad and sympathetic. “You have to consider the possibility that you haven’t been in heat because your body isn’t in a good place to have a cub with that man. It’s a mental thing, Anya. Your body was telling you something, you just didn’t know how to interpret it. I can do an examination on you and have a better idea of what’s going on, but I’m fairly certain that is your answer. I’ve seen it three times before this, and every one was caused by stress and unhappiness, or some kind of emotional struggle. It’ll come back when you relax and get to a better place.”