Best of My Love (Fool's Gold, #20)(60)

“See you in a few.”

He clipped on Charlie’s leash. They opened the front door just as Aidan’s mother was reaching for the handle.

“Mom. What are you doing here?”

Elaine looked at him. “I just wanted to stop by. I haven’t seen you in a while.” She frowned. “You look like you haven’t shaved.”

“I was on a backpacking trip for three days. I’m going to take Charlie for a walk, then go home and crash.”

“Oh. Well, can I walk with you?”

He wanted to say no. There was nothing his mother could say that he wanted to hear. Only that wasn’t how he’d been raised. So he nodded and pointed to the trail he and Charlie liked to use.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. When they were clear of the office, Aidan let Charlie go off-leash. The bichon gave a quick bark of appreciation before trotting off to investigate the trail.

“Will he be all right?” Elaine asked.

“He doesn’t go far and he always checks back with me,” he told her.

“He’s sweet, like Sophie.”

Aidan thought that Sophie was a bit more of a mischief maker than Charlie, but didn’t say anything.

“Your father is sorry about what happened at the hospital.”

“No, he’s not.”

His mother sighed. “Aidan, you’re too hard on him.”

“Am I? I’m happy to see you, Mom, but you don’t have to apologize for him. He’s no different now than he’s ever been.”

He remembered what Shelby had realized. That her fear, her anger, was as much toward her mother as her father. Was it the same for him? Ceallach had been difficult for years, but his mother was the one who didn’t demand better for herself and her children.

“He loves you,” she insisted. “He’ll never say it, but I know he feels it.”

“If you say so.”

Which was more polite than what he was thinking. As far as he was concerned, his father barely knew who he was. Without having the ability to create art, Aidan couldn’t possibly matter. The statement had no moral value. It simply was. His father would never change. Neither would his mother.

Aidan had never thought about that before. That his parents simply were. He struggled to understand what Elaine saw in her husband, but maybe that wasn’t his job. Instead of trying to make sense of it, he could accept the facts as they were.

Charlie trotted back to check on them. Aidan gave him a quick pat, then picked up a small stick and threw it. The little dog raced after it.

“I wish you and your brothers could see things from his perspective,” she said with a sigh.

“There’s a scary thought.”

“Why?”

“I’m not ready to peek into the mind of an artist.”

“It’s so interesting that three of you have his gift and you and Del don’t.”

Interesting wasn’t exactly the word he would have used.

“Are you ever sorry?” she asked.

“I can’t miss what I’ve never had. I don’t know what it’s like to create in the way Nick and the twins do.” He paused as he realized what he’d said. “Sorry, Mom. I still think of them as the twins.”

“I do, too,” she admitted. “They’ll always be that to me.”

“And Ronan will always be your favorite?”

She stopped. “He was never that.”

Aidan waited.

Elaine made a tsking sound. “It wasn’t like that.” She linked arms with him and they started walking again.

“When your father told me what he’d done, I was devastated. I had to forgive him, of course. Because if I didn’t, I couldn’t stay.”

“You wanted to be with him always.” Not a question. How could it be when he knew the answer?

“Of course. He told me about the baby and that she wanted to give it up. I knew what he was asking. What he expected. I couldn’t agree, but I did say I would go see the baby. That’s how I thought of him then. As the baby.”

Her expression turned wistful. “I knew I’d hate him on sight. That I’d have to refuse. Then I held him and in that moment my heart told me the truth. That I could love him as if he’d been one of my own. We took him home that day.”

“What happened to his birth mother?”

“She died a few years later. We were notified through a lawyer. I’d already adopted Ronan legally, so that wasn’t an issue. He’s your brother, Aidan. As much as if I’d given birth to him.”

He couldn’t imagine that level of love. To take in your partner’s bastard child and raise it as your own. Joyfully. He would bet his mother never once regretted what she’d done. Never had a moment’s doubt. He might not agree with her feelings about his father, but he couldn’t question the size of her heart.

He put his arm around her and drew her close. “You’re an extraordinary woman, Elaine Mitchell.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m just like everyone else.”

He knew that wasn’t true on so many levels. He supposed the character that kept her stuck with his father had been the reason she could love Ronan so deeply. The good with the bad.

Maybe there weren’t answers, he thought as they continued walking along the trail. Maybe there was only acceptance and the knowledge that most people did the best they could with what they had.