Beneath the Secrets Part 3(10)

“Kara, sweetheart…”

“Blake, go to hell, and stop calling me that. I’m not your sweetheart and I’m not your f*ck buddy either. Damn, you’ve made me hate that word more than I already did.”

“You took what I said wrong.”

“I took it wrong? How am I supposed to take it?” She crossed her arms in front of her body. “It’s fine, Blake. Just go.”

Oh, shit. He knew enough about women to know the word “fine” was not a good thing. “I…damn it, Kara, it came out wrong.”

“You owe me nothing, Blake. Not an explanation. Nothing. We hardly know each other.”

“That’s the problem, woman,” he half growled in complete, utter frustration. “I can’t just f*ck you and forget you. And you were right. That’s what I do. I walk away and if I never knew the woman’s name, all the better. That’s what I swore would be how I operated for the rest of my life.”

She looked appalled. “What made you like this? What happened?”

Blake’s skin started to twitch; the shadows swirling around in the back of his mind were threatening to take shape. He walked to the bed and sank down onto it. He dropped his face to his hands. “I can’t do this, Kara.” The shadows began to part, the bloody images started to take shape.

The bed shifted and Kara’s fingers gently stroked his hair. “Blake…”

Her touch was both soothing balm and liquid fire. He grabbed her hand, trying to control what he felt, trying not to feel at all, and it was impossible. Steeling himself for her probing stare, he forced his gaze to lift. “Kara.” His voice was hoarse, laden with emotions he couldn’t seem to control. “You…you make me…”

Feel. He didn’t put another name to it. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to feel anything, and yet he did. He felt way too much.

Her expression softened instantly. “You make me…too. Blake, I know what pain feels like. I’m here. If you need me—”

“I don’t want to need you,” he said vehemently, unable to hold back.

“I know. Believe me, I know. I get it. I get you. I have from that first night we met in Denver.” She reached up and touched his temple, letting her fingers trail down his cheek, and Blake felt her touch chase fire through his blood—but even more, it stirred a hot burn in his chest that had nothing to do with desire, and everything to do with emotion. Like it or not, and he didn’t, he was feeling again and it was heaven and hell. It had to stop.

His lips tightened and he moved her hand to her leg. “I can’t focus on what I have to do and worry about you.” He started to get up.

She wrapped her arm with his. “Oh no. You were right. We need to talk. I’m FBI, Blake. I don’t need you to worry about me.”

“Believe me, Kara. I’m crystal clear on what your job is.”

“Are you? Because all this talk about protecting me says you’re not.”

“I am. And it’s part of why—” He stopped himself before he said too much. “You think because you’re FBI you know how to stay alive. You don’t. Not with Alvarez. So I’ll do it for you. You’re out, Kara.” His gut clenched, waiting for the impact of what came next. This was where her hating him came into the picture. “You either get out on your own or I’ll blow your cover and force you out.”

“What?” she gasped, shoving off the bed to whirl on him, her pale cheeks flushed red with anger. “I trusted you and you’re threatening to expose me?”

“I’m doing what I have to. I’m keeping you alive.”

“Oh right. Mr. Death Wish himself wants to keep me alive? Well, two can play that game, Blake. You expose me and I’ll damn sure expose you.”

Smack. He should have seen that one coming. “You’re getting out, Kara, and you won’t get the chance to expose me.”

“You underestimate me, Blake, or you wouldn’t have ended up drugged and asleep in Denver. Who else will you underestimate and end up dead while Alvarez is still alive?”

Double smack. His fingers curled into his fist, adrenaline pumping through his veins. She’d hit ten nerves, all of which had been raw since the night Whitney had died. “You’re right. I underestimated you and you aren’t the first.” He’d underestimated too many people, or Whitney would be alive today. “I won’t take the risk and I won’t do it again. You’re getting out.”

“Not without my sister, and not until I make sure you don’t go and get yourself killed. I might be furious with you right now, Blake, but I know you are trying to be a hero. I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m an FBI agent. You have my back. I have your back. That’s how this works. That’s how it is.”

She hit the big nerve, the raw, throbbing, aching one he wished he could just bury in the hell of his past, and Blake snapped. He grabbed her and took her down on the bed, covering her body with his, fighting a memory that was sure to shred him to pieces. “Don’t say that to me again,” he growled. “Not ever again. Do you understand me?”

Pain sliced through her eyes. “Right,” she said, her voice quavering. “Translation. You want a f*ck buddy and nothing more. No partner. No…whatever else. Just a f*ck buddy who goes away when you want her to go away. Check. Check. Get off me.”