Bender (The Core Four #1)(31)

He swallowed, and I followed the movement of his Adam’s apple. “Why don’t you have furniture, Blue?” His voice was quiet.

“I just don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t, okay?”

That was when he tore his eyes away from my room and looked at me. Like, really looked at me. I felt so small standing here with him towering over me and no means to defend myself. Not in a physical way but an emotional one. Those eyes held me in a way I’d never felt. He made me feel like I was falling into the depths of him, and as much as I tried to claw my way out, he wouldn’t release me. I brought my arms up to wrap around my middle. He followed my movement. It was as if I were exposed to the one person who I didn’t want to pass judgment on me. For whatever reason it mattered, coming from him, it mattered to me. In no way, shape, or form was I ready to analyze why. The way his eyes pierced mine, it was like he was seeing through me. It unnerved me.

He shook his head again. “No, it’s not okay.”

“I don’t understand why it matters?”

Camden reached up and ran a hand through his hair. “Because it does.”

Sometimes it was so exasperating to talk to him. He was always so short with me, and this was no different. I needed him to explain to me why he looked so upset. I wanted to know why he behaved the way that he did toward me, why he said what he did to Luke. Why he couldn’t just act the same way that his brother did. Speaking of which, where did Dodger go?

“That’s not a reason, Camden. I want to know why.”

Those deep russet eyes burned into mine. “Because you’re my roommate, and a chick, and you shouldn’t be in a room that’s bare.”

I shook my head angrily. Not far from stomping my foot at him I fumed, “No, not good enough. What’s the big deal if I don’t have these things? I don’t care that I’m a girl, or that I’m your roommate. I want to know why it matters to you?”

He took a step forward, so I took one back. When he saw I wouldn’t let him any closer he mumbled something under his breath, scrubbing his hand down his face.

“Hmmm? What’s that?” I pried.

Camden put his hands on his hips and glared at me. I knew whatever was coming was going to be a blow so I braced myself, straightening my back and standing tall. “You matter, okay? You fucking matter. You’re more than just a chick, you’re more than a roommate. You’re kind, and you care about people. You have put up with my bullshit since the day you moved in here, and I’ve slung a lot of it. I keep waiting for you to break, and yet you don’t. You jut your little chin out and deal. So yeah, it fucking matters to me that you are sleeping on a goddamn air mattress, and not the softest bed that money can buy. It pisses me right the fuck off, Keegan. You deserve more.”

Holy…what? I was breathing hard and so was he. The intensity of his eyes deepened, and it was more than I could handle. I turned my face away and took a deep breath. Where did I begin processing all of that? I mattered to him? Since when? The man barely gave me the time of day, let alone acted like he cared. I figured I could get run over by a semi and he’d be the dude on the side of the road videotaping it instead of calling 911. That was how much stock I put into my relationship with Camden. Hearing him say I deserved more felt like my undoing. I began walking forward, when I felt him step up behind me. Shivers broke out over my skin at his nearness, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Block him out, Keegan. When his hand came up and rested on the spot between my shoulder and neck I jumped, my eyes flying open. His hard callused fingers brushed across the bare exposed skin. I knew he knew what he was doing. His touch was so gentle and unwelcome, yet I found my body leaning back into him for more.

“Don’t walk away from me, Blue.” He was speaking very subtly but firm.

“What am I supposed to do with that?” I continued to stare straight ahead at the white walls. “You’ve treated me a certain way since I have moved in here, and now you’re telling me that I matter? I don’t even know what to say to that.”

He leaned down so that his face was only inches away. I felt the heat of his breath blow across the shell of my ear. “This can’t stay this way. I won’t let it.”

What was he talking about? Was he referring to the room? “I don’t understand,” I responded in confusion.

He didn’t even reply. When my room remained quiet for a beat too long, I turned around, and he was gone. That was weird, I still felt him at my back. It was as if the sensation of him was seared into my skin, and the feel of him continued to linger. I sighed loudly. This was too much. All of it was too much. I had no desire to try and break down what just happened. But I knew someone who would. I needed to call my best friend and tell her that this was an emergency. I swear every hair on my body was still standing on end, and my heart had yet to settle down. Macie would know what was going on. She had to. She knew boy code. Was this Camden’s weird way of giving me an olive branch? I heard someone moving around downstairs, and I stiffened.

“Keeg?” Dodger yelled upstairs.

I visibly relaxed at his voice. Maybe he’d know what just happened. I stepped out of my room and up to the banister that overlooked the living room.

“Yeah?” I squeaked.

“Hey, I need to take off. Shit to do and all that.”