Behold the Dreamers(94)
“Only until you get your papier.”
“That’s not true,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “Papier is not everything. In America today, having documents is not enough. Look at how many people with papers are struggling. Look at how even some Americans are suffering. They were born in this country. They have American passports, and yet they are sleeping on the street, going to bed hungry, losing their jobs and houses every day in this … this economic crisis.”
Timba started whimpering in the bedroom. They stopped talking, looking past each other as they waited for her to put herself back to sleep. She did.
“Having papers in this country is not everything,” Jende continued. “What do you think is going to change with my life if I get papers tomorrow?”
“You will get a better job, won’t you?”
“What better job? I have no education that anyone can call a real education. What will I do? Go to work at Pathmark? Spend ten years weighing shrimp like Tunde?”
“But bébé, working at Pathmark is a good job. You know that. Tunde has a very good job. He has benefits, all kind of insurance. He even has a retirement plan—that’s what Olu told me. And on top of that he buys food for his family on a discount. How is that not a good job?”
Jende looked at Neni and chuckled, a cheerless chuckle followed by another shake of his head. Maybe she thought it was such a good life her friend Olu had because her husband worked at the Pathmark seafood counter, but he didn’t think Tunde was so happy with his life. How could he possibly be, spending all those days of the week around seafood, coming home at the end of the day smelling like fish.
“So you think Tunde and Olu have such a good life, eh?”
“I think they manage well, and we can, too, if you get your papier and get a job like that.”
“And how long do you think I can take care of my family with the kind of money Pathmark will pay me? Eh, Neni? How am I going to send you to pharmacy school with that kind of money? How are we going to send Liomi to college? Or be able to ever move out of this place full of cockroaches?”
“Then we’ll go to Phoenix. That’s what you’ve always wanted, right?”
“I’m not moving to Phoenix! You think Phoenix is going to have something better for us? I was sitting here feeling jealous of Arkamo because he has that nice four-bedroom house over there, only to find out two days ago that he lost his house. The department store where he was working closed down, he doesn’t have a job, he cannot pay the bank, the bank takes back the house. You know where he and his family are living now? In his sister’s basement, which has no windows! Is that what you want for us, Neni? To end up in a basement in Phoenix?”
Neni sighed and shook her head. “Okay, bébé,” she said. “Then we’ll stay in New York. Maybe you could go back to working as a driver. Maybe we can find you another job like the one you had with Mr. Edwards?”
“You’re talking nonsense.”
“I’m only saying that—”
“You think it’s easy to get a job like that? You think it’s easy for someone like me to get a good job like that? Were you not here when I sent out one hundred résumés for all those chauffeur jobs on the Internet and no one called me back? You know I only got the job with Mr. Edwards because Mr. Dawson likes Winston very much and he trusted Winston to recommend someone good. I got the job only because of Winston, not because of myself. Okay? So stop talking like someone who has no sense.”
She could tell she had incensed him. She tried to rub his shoulder to atone for whatever she had said to infuriate him, but he pulled away and stood up.
“Please, bébé,” she said, looking up at him. “We’re going to be fine, right?”
He walked out of the room without responding and went into the kitchen. When she went to join him, she found him opening and shutting drawers and cabinets.
“Bébé, what are you looking for?”
“You need to know something, Neni,” he said, turning to face her. “You need to know that much of what has happened to get us here is because of Winston. You understand? If Winston didn’t offer to pay the rest of Bubakar’s fees, you know we would not have as much money saved right now. We will have nothing if it wasn’t for my cousin paying for almost all of Bubakar and my immigration fees, helping me find a good job, helping me find this apartment! But if things start to get too bad for us in this country, you have a student visa, I have the government trying to deport me, you need to stay in school to keep your student visa, we start running out of money, one of us gets seriously sick, who are we going to turn to? Winston is going to have a child. He’s going to get married. Have more children. His little sisters are finishing Buea University next year and then he has to bring them over here. We will no longer have Winston to turn to left and right. And even if we could, I am a man! I cannot continue waiting for my cousin to rescue me all the time.”
“But no one knows how God works. Maybe, one way or another, you can get another job driving someone else, eh?”
“You’re not listening to me, Neni. You’re not listening! Forget about how God works, okay? Because even if I try again to look for a job as a driver, do you really think a big man on Wall Street will hire some African man from the street just like that? With this kind of economy, all kinds of people are looking for a job like that. Even some of those people who used to wear suits to work on Wall Street are now looking for jobs as drivers. Nothing is easy anymore. How do you think I’m ever going to get another job that pays thirty-five thousand dollars?”