Behind the Lies (Montgomery Justice #2)(73)

“They love the boy they remember, but I can barely face them, Jenna. They don’t know me or what I’ve done.” Zach took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. “I’m responsible for my father’s death.”

He shifted from her, moving to sit up, but she clutched at his shirt, refusing to let him go. “I don’t believe you.”

His eyelids snapped open. Anguish screamed from the depths of his eyes. She swallowed a gasp at the hurt he’d clearly buried. “Five years ago, he called me, wanting to meet. I was exactly the man you described. The tabloids weren’t wrong. I was young, foolish, and going down a dark path. You name the vice, and I tried it more than once. I believed my own press, believed I was indestructible.” He cleared his throat. “I learned the hard way that my biggest hero—my father—wasn’t.”

“If Sam were headed down that path, I’d do whatever it took to stop him,” Jenna said, rubbing her hand back and forth on his arm. “That’s what your dad did.”

“My father was stubborn, that’s for sure. Patrick Montgomery was more bullheaded than any of us.” Zach smiled. “Except maybe my mom.”

Jenna bit her lip. “Patrick Montgomery? The name sounds familiar.”

Zach winced. “My father’s death made national news. A decorated cop shot down in a convenience store robbery. No one knows the full story. Not even my mother.”

Her heart aching for the agony in his voice, Jenna pressed close against Zach. “Tell me.”

He closed his eyes. “He was waiting for me across from a bar where I was drinking myself into oblivion in a private VIP room. All because I wouldn’t return his call.” Zach lifted his haunted gaze. “He probably tried to stop the crime. He’d do that. Dad died in my arms. I promised him I’d make things right. He called me a liar. I was always the family’s biggest disappointment. My screwup cost my father his life.”

She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. His heartbeat thudded beneath her ear, speeding up when she nestled into his arms. “You misunderstood your father, Zach. I’ve seen you and your brothers. Your father loved you. Just like mine did. You don’t have to get yourself killed to prove yourself worthy of the Montgomery name.”

He shook his head. “You don’t understand. I robbed our family of a man who should be getting ready to retire and travel across the country with my mom in an RV. They’ll never have that chance because of my selfishness.”

She studied his self-loathing expression, and with a blast of insight recognized it mirrored her own. She’d wanted to disappear, too. She touched his face, her fingertips drawing down the stubble on his cheek. “Is that why you’re letting your beard grow?” she asked. “A new disguise for your next dangerous mission—or to hide from yourself again?”

His jaw throbbed with unspoken emotion. “I have some unfinished business in Afghanistan. Since life as I know it is over, I better figure out who I’ll be next.”

A stark vulnerability had settled over him.

“I understand that, I do, Zach, but you know what? I think you’ve punished yourself enough. And so have I.”

She framed his face with her hands. “The only good thing to come out of this entire mess is that I met you.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m going to have to be strong for me and Sam in the future, but for now, can I just be free of the cage I’ve lived in? Will you help me do that?”

She wanted to be held, wanted to be loved.

She didn’t want just anyone, though. She wanted Zach. “I…I want to be selfish. I want you to want me.”

He caressed her hair, his touch tentative as he twisted the locks that fell over her shoulders. “I can’t take advantage of you,” he said, his voice full of regret.

“You wouldn’t be. Unless…unless you don’t want me?”

Part of her wanted to shrink away and roll over…until desire flooded his eyes.

He did want her.

And she wanted him. Only him.

He bit back a groan and shifted her hips toward the hardness that he couldn’t hide.

“I want you, Jenna. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw your cute behind and wide eyes when you stole my truck.” He stroked her jawline with one knuckle. “But it can only be for one night, maybe two. My life is too dangerous. I won’t put you and Sam at risk. Can you live with that?”

She placed her hand over his. “Yes, but can I ask you one thing? Will you tell me the truth? Will you be you and not live behind the lies for the rest of the time we’re together? I’ve had enough deception. Just be real with me.”

“I’ll try,” he whispered, his lips dancing on the smooth skin of her cheek. “You’re worth facing a few fears.”

Jenna clutched at him. “I regret everything about my time with Brad…except Sam. I don’t want to regret any more. I’ll take the memory of two nights over never knowing what it’s like to lie in your arms.”

He shivered at her words. A jolt of feminine power surged through her. She shoved aside the doubts creeping into her mind. She’d have tonight. With Zach. She’d make the memories last for the rest of her life.

“Help me forget, Zach. Help me forget everything.”

She slipped from his embrace and pushed him to his back. She straddled his body, settling her hips on top of his. Her touch gentle, she fingered the bandage immobilizing his arm. “What about your shoulder?”