Before You (Before You #1)(45)

Before crawling into her unmade bed, she noticed a couple more texts from Cam saying he was sorry, and he couldn’t wait to see her next weekend. Not ready to talk to him yet, she sent him a one-word response.



Forgiven.



Rolling to her side in the bed, she wrapped the pillow around her head in an unsuccessful attempt to block out her thoughts. She nearly jumped out of her bed when she smelled Jax’s spicy scent on her sheets. Guilt coiled around her like a snake, imploring her to rip off her sheets and wash them. Fleetingly, she thought it would be wonderful if washing them would remove the stain of guilt on her conscience. If it weren’t so late, she would have done exactly that. Realizing she was being ludicrous, she forced herself to close her eyes and stay where she was.

Early in the morning, she heard her phone vibrating on her nightstand. When she saw Cam’s picture on the screen, she wanted to ignore the call, but she knew ignoring Cam wouldn’t make the situation go away, it would only make him suspicious, and that was something she couldn’t handle right now. At the slightest inquiry, she knew she would crumble into a million pieces and confess. She had never told Cam a single lie, not when they were kids and not since they started dating. Whether by omission now and perhaps denial at some later date, she hated that she had decided to lie to him.

She constantly told people that she completely trusted Cam despite the groupies swarming around their band like a bunch of circling sharks waiting for a moment of weakness. It amazed her that even local bands had groupies, but she held to her belief that their lifelong friendship meant too much to Cam to jeopardize it with meaningless hookups. She couldn’t wrap her arms around the fact that she was the unfaithful one, the one to risk their friendship for a one-night fling with his friend.

“Cam,” she said, after pressing talk on the screen of her phone.

“Bre, I’m glad you finally decided to answer my call. I was starting to wonder if you were avoiding me.”

Bre cleared her throat, still thick from sleep. “Of course not. The gallery opening monopolized my day.”

“Oh, right. I forgot. How did your little party go?”

Gritting her teeth, Bre responded. “Great. We exceeded our sales goal.”

“Nice. Hold on a second.”

Hearing muffled voices in the background, Bre was curious who was in his apartment so early in the morning. “Cam, who’s there?”

“Nobody… just the cleaning lady.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Look, I don’t have time to talk, I just wanted to make sure Jax gave you the plane ticket.”

“Yes, thanks. That was really thoughtful,” Bre said, throwing the sheets off her body.

“Right,” he cleared his throat. “So I’ll see you Thursday.”

“I’m really busy at the gallery. Maybe we can push it off another week.”

He groaned. “You’re still mad at me.”

“No, what do you mean?”

“Bre, I hear it in your voice. Something’s wrong. You can pretend like you’re fine, but we’ve known each other a long time. I can tell you’re still pouting that I cancelled my visit.”

“No. Really Cam, I’m over it. Sure, you shocked me when you cancelled the same day you planned to visit. I wish I had more notice, but I’m over it. I understand.”

“So this means we’re back together, right? I can’t believe you tried to dump me over the phone. Not cool, Bre.”

“Look, I’ll come visit you, and we’ll figure out what to do about us. I think we need to work through some things, so it’s probably a good idea for us to see each other, but I’m not promising anything.”

“Great,” Cam said, clearly preoccupied. “I’ll see you Thursday, and Bre, everything is fine between us. Don’t try to psychoanalyze everything.”

“We’ll see,” Bre responded noncommittally. She didn’t feel right making any decisions about her relationship with Cam right now.

“Listen, I have to work late on Thursday, so I’ll get Jax to pick you up at the airport.”

“No,” she protested a little to fiercely. “I mean, please don’t bother Jax. I’ll take a cab, or better yet, I’ll rent a car so I can do my own thing when you’re busy.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she replied, relief pouring out of her one word answer. Maybe she had to see Cam in a couple days, but she would do everything in her power to avoid Jax while she was in LA. She wasn’t ready for that encounter yet, if ever. Every thought or mention of Jax made her feel raw and exposed.

Hearing the muffled voices in the background again, she seized the opportunity to end the conversation before Cam further inquired about her mood. “It sounds like you’re busy, so… I’ll see you soon.”

“Right. Bye, Bre. Love you.”

Cam hung up the phone before she could say anything. He’d been so preoccupied lately, causing her to feel neglected and unwanted. She couldn’t remember the last time they had a conversation of substance. He shared some highlights of his life, and she tried to share some information with him. While she always made sure to ask about every little event in his life, Cam seemed to have less and less interest in anything happening in her life. He hadn’t asked about the gallery in months. In fact, she wasn’t sure he could even tell her the name of her gallery if she questioned him.