Before You (Before You #1)(12)

One of Jax’s hands reached out and stroked the side of her face, and she turned toward him.

“Because this is the only time in your life that you’re free to chase your dreams,” Jax said softly.

“Is that what you’re doing?” She paused, keeping her eyes closed and breathing in his clean scent. “With the band, I mean.”

“Yeah. My dad wanted me to join his company, but I love music, so I turned down his offer.” Jax’s hands moved toward her scalp, his fingers lightly massaging her head.

“Mmm…” she moaned. She felt so safe there was no way she could ask him to stop. She couldn’t think of many better ways to pass the time than rocking with the motion of the waves, smelling the salt air and getting a massage. “So was he mad? Cam mentioned that you don’t talk to your dad much.”

“He pretty much disowned me, thinking that I would run back to him when the whole band dream fell apart.”

Bre opened her eyes, tilting her chin up to look at him. “But you’re so good. I mean really good, and I’m not just saying that because you took me boating today or because Cam is in the band. Your dad must realize it, too.”

Jax chuckled, and Bre liked the feel of his warm breath against her skin. “Thanks. I’m glad you think so.” Jax paused for a moment. “He’s never seen me sing. Well, not since I was a kid. He thinks I’m wasting my life.”

“What an ass,” Bre said, staring into his stormy gray eyes.

Jax leaned his forehead against hers. “I like it when you get all indignant on my behalf,” he whispered.

“Everyone needs an advocate.” Bre shifted away from him, suddenly uncomfortable with their shared intimacy. She could imagine getting sucked so far into Jax Carmichael that she couldn’t breath without him, and she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be the first woman to feel that way.

“So, Aubrey,” he said, drawing out her full name in a way that made her shiver. “Who defends you?”

Bre looked away from his serious eyes. “Cam, mostly. My mom is a whirlwind of selfishness. Until we moved in with my grandmother when I was ten, I spent most of my time alone. She made it clear when I was little that her number one priority is her art, followed by the man of the hour. I think I ranked somewhere after getting her nails done.”

Jax nodded, making a sympathetic sound. “So what about your grandmother?”

“She loves me, but most of the time I felt like she would rather be doing other things than raising me, but she knew if she didn’t do it, my mom wouldn’t, either.”

“So that left Cam,” Jax stated flatly, standing up.

“Cam and his family. His parents always treated me like a part of the family even before Cam and I started dating. When my grandmother couldn’t pick me up or make some event, Cam’s mom did it. She was like my surrogate mom. With my mom perpetually unavailable and my grandmother being older, I called her when I needed advise. In that respect, I was lucky my mom decided to move back to Carbondale. God knows where I’d be if she continued to drag me from city to city until I was eighteen.”

“Is that why you’re with Cam?” Jax asked, shoving his hand in his pockets. His voice was soft, but it had a hard edge. “Because you’re already a part of his family? It makes everything convenient, seamless even.”

“No,” Bre said, shaking her head. “Moving from best friends to something more with Cam may have been the natural progression of our relationship, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.”

“Okay.” Jax looked at the horizon, where the sky was starting to turn shades of orange. “We should probably head back. We’re barely going to make it back to the marina before it gets dark. After he had unfurled the sail, he went back to the helm, and Bre busied herself looking for her clothes to throw over her white bikini.

Bre felt his gaze on her as she pulled her dress over her head and she trembled, suddenly uncomfortable being the focus of his attention. Watching the waves crash against the side of the boat, she pulled her knees up next to her chest and then wrapped her arms around them.

As she contemplated the day, the question of what she was going to tell Cam danced unnervingly through her mind. Nothing happened that outwardly looked inappropriate, but she didn’t want to share her day with him for two reasons. First, she wouldn’t like it if Cam spent an entire day alone on a sailboat, or anywhere else for that matter, with another woman. Secondly, she didn’t want to share her day with anyone. It seemed personal—kind of like her artwork.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his tone so soft and cautious that she barely heard his words.

“Nothing,” she replied, pushing her hopelessly tangled hair behind her ears.

“From the look on your face, it seems like it’s a very big nothing. If I had to guess, I would say you were thinking about Cam.”

Shooting him a startled look, Bre said, “You don’t miss much, do you?”

“Not when you’re so easy to read. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”

“Come on. I think you’ll find that I’m an exceptionally gifted listener. You won’t find anyone better, so you might as well use me while you have the opportunity.”

“Males and listening skills don’t exactly go hand in hand,” she teased.