Because You're Mine(24)

“You’re in the boonies.” Ciara slammed the door behind her. “I nearly called for directions again. I passed by this laneway twice.”

“Pretty though, isn’t it?” Alanna called back. Putting down the fiddle, she started for the steps. A man stepped out of the car, and she caught her breath. For just a second, with the sun in her eyes, the breadth of the man’s shoulders and the way he held his head made her think it was Liam come back to her. Then his bulk blocked the glare in her eyes and she saw his face.

Jesse Hawthorne. If he had never showed up to take Liam for a drive, her husband would still be with her.

In an instant, the horror of that night and the following days rushed over her. The flames, the heat, the agony of identifying his mangled body. She thought of it every time she saw Jesse. It was worse since the detective had told her he might have intended to kill Liam along with himself.

She paused at the top of the steps. “What are you doing here?”

Ciara stepped in front of Jesse. “Calm down, Alanna.” She motioned for him to follow her. “I know what Adams said, but give the bloke a chance.”

He hadn’t given her husband a chance. Alanna bit her lip and said nothing as they approached. The sunshine threw the fading scars on his face into sharp relief, though the doctors had repaired much of the damage. He would still be a handsome man when the scars faded.

A slight smile lifted his lips. “You look beautiful as ever, Alanna.” His voice still held a raw, husky edge from the damage done by heat and smoke inhalation.

What was she supposed to say to that? Flattery didn’t erase the way he’d destroyed her life. In the end she said nothing, just continued to stare at him until he shuffled and dropped his gaze.

“What are you doing here?” she repeated, her gaze flitting from him to Ciara’s pleading gaze.

“I need a favor,” he said.

Her eyes snapped back to his face. “You’re expecting me to do you a favor?” She didn’t bother to hide the incredulity in her voice. His light brown eyes held her gaze. Maybe it was the color that so reminded her of Liam. In college, they’d often been mistaken for one another from a distance and thought it great fun.

“Takes cheek, you’re thinking, right?”

“Did you kill Liam?” she asked, not caring when he winced. “You were talking about suicide. Did you try to kill yourself and take your best bloke with you?”

“Don’t say such things,” Ciara murmured.

Alanna turned a scowl on her friend. “Whose side are you on, Ciara?”

Ciara narrowed her eyes. “Yours, mate. You need to listen and not make judgments. Barry is rubbing off on you already, is he?”

Alanna swallowed back the harsh words forming. Ciara loved her and only wanted to help. She glared at Jesse. “For the last time, why are you here?”

“I wish it were me that died and not Liam,” he said softly.

“You don’t even remember him,” she said. “So I’m thinking that’s a nice platitude but hardly real.” She studied his face. “You haven’t regained your memory, have you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t even recognize the face in the mirror every morning, but that doesn’t keep the guilt away of knowing I killed a friend, even if I can’t remember what happened that night.”

She tried not to feel any pity, but she couldn’t imagine living such a twilight existence. “What do you want from me?”

“A job.”

Her eyes widened. “What kind of job?”

“Liam is gone, but I can fill in for him. I’ve been taking drum lessons, and I’m pretty good at it. Better than I expected. Ciara said you need a percussionist. You need a drummer, and I need a job.”

She shot an accusing glare at her friend. “You recruited him?”

Ciara had the grace to look away at first, then lifted her chin and stared back at Alanna. “I did. We need a drummer, Alanna.”

“Not just any drummer,” she blurted out. “And it’s more than drums. It’s the bodhran, the bass, and the shakers. A new drummer wouldn’t work.”

“I’ve heard him, Alanna. He’s deadly good,” Ciara said. “Even on the bodhran. And you know how hard that is.”

Alanna glanced back at Jesse. He stood with his feet planted apart and his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Liam used to stand just that way. The two men had shared many mannerisms after rooming together all those years, and it was even more disconcerting now than it had been when Liam was alive.

Jesse’s gaze never wavered. “Give me a chance. I’ve been working hard on all of those things. I’m thinking I can do it.”

Unbelievable, he was. “Why should I give you Liam’s job?” The thought of anyone taking her husband’s place on a permanent basis made her throat tighten.

Ciara stepped in front of him. “We’re needing him, Alanna. Without a percussionist we’re going nowhere. At least listen to him.”

Alanna beckoned her to the porch. “I want to talk to you.” Ciara sighed but went up the steps to Alanna. Alanna put her hands on her hips and glared at her friend. “I think he killed my husband. How can I see him every day knowing that?”

“Adams is still just guessing. I can’t believe you’d think of turning down our chance at having a decent percussionist. You’re not usually being so judgmental.”