Because You Love to Hate Me(42)
But I was a fool. For all the time I’d spent with my condescension, I could yet find no fault with Prince Lorindel. Years had passed. I was more alone than ever, and now I was desperately, agonizingly in love.
“You’re sick,” said the boy twin, Murdoch, lowering his face toward mine. I backed away, but he persisted. “You should be cast out with the bottom-feeders before your foul blood poisons the rest of us.”
“N-no,” I stammered. “I didn’t do anything. That tentacle wasn’t . . . It was . . . I just found it . . .”
“You’re lying.” Lorindel rounded on me, drawing closer until he was all I could see, as close as he’d been before, but this time I found myself shrinking back, searching for a way to escape the gaze that burrowed into my skin. “That was a beast of my father’s kingdom, of my kingdom—and you mutilated it. And for what? A silly spell in some book?”
My heartbeat quickened, racing now. All my nerves teemed with the desire to flee, but I couldn’t move, not even to escape Lorindel’s wrath. Even now I found myself hoping that I could make him see that I had no other choice. He must know that I had to do it, that I had loved him for so very long, that anyone would have gone to such lengths . . .
But my thoughts stumbled and finally halted—he knew.
He knew about the spell. They all knew.
“How?” I whispered. “How do you know?”
“We saw you leaving your cave this morning,” said Murdoch, “and thought we’d take a look around.”
Merryl folded her arms over her chest. “Always been curious to know what you do in that creepy place, all alone every day. We found your morbid collection, all those macabre little trinkets . . .”
“And then we found the book,” said Beldine, gliding closer to me. “Conveniently left open to a spell meant to force someone into falling in love.” She clicked her tongue. “You shouldn’t have written Lorindel’s name on the pages, sweet Nerit. It made it all a bit too easy to figure out.”
I turned to the prince, pleading. “I meant no harm. I only thought . . . I’d hoped that if . . . if I could . . .” My chest felt as if it would cave in as I appealed to Lorindel, reaching for his hands, but he pulled away before I could touch him. “Please, Your Highness, you don’t understand. I . . . I love you. I always have. I would do anything . . .”
“Then you will hold your tongue, and you will never speak to me again. You disgust me.” His eyes narrowed, lacking any hint of pity. “I order you to leave my sight before I’m sick to my stomach.”
As a sob quaked through my body, I turned and fled.
I swam as hard as I could, my cries swallowed up by the sea. I had only one place to go. Only one place that had ever felt like solace in a kingdom where everyone hated me, had always hated me, where no one even tried to see beneath my shell and understand how I wanted to be one of them, I wanted to belong . . .
But when I arrived at the entrance to my cave, I drew up short.
They had destroyed it. Clay pots were shattered on the floor. Squid ink had been smeared over my artwork and notes. Skulls and bones and fossils were left broken and scattered in the sand.
No longer a sanctuary, this felt more like a tomb.
With a wail of agony, I turned and swam upward instead.
I lay sprawled on the sandy shore, staring at a dark sky that swirled with gems. I had been shivering for hours, my teeth chattering with every gust of wind, but I liked the cold. It was numbing, and the breeze had dried my skin, leaving rough trails of salt over my body.
Lorindel hated me.
For years, I had imagined myself invisible to him, and I had hoped the spell would change that. I had dreamed so many times of the day, that moment, when his eyes would pass over the crowd and find me, more brilliant and deserving than any other mermaid in the kingdom. I had known we were meant to be together. I had believed it down to my bones.
But I could no longer deny the truth. I was not invisible to him. I was contemptible.
I decided then, staring at the stars, that I would never again return to the sea. I would die here on this shore, cold and alone. Perhaps I deserved it. Surely I didn’t deserve to be loved, for, otherwise, wouldn’t I have found someone to love me by now?
Yes. This would be the fate of poor, pathetic Nerit. Perhaps a human fisherman would someday find my bones whitened in the sun, and I would become a legend. It was a better fate than any that awaited me beneath the waves.
“Hello? Miss?”
I gasped and jerked upward, spinning my body around to see a human male picking his way over the driftwood and scattered stones.
My hair prickled.
The man paused when he took in my expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you were a girl or a seal. You were lying so still—I thought maybe you were hurt.” He moved closer, stepping over a large piece of driftwood. “Are you . . .” His question trailed off as his eyes swept down my body. I didn’t know if he noticed my nakedness first or my long tail, but either way, he froze. His eyes widened.
I turned and began to scurry down the beach toward the waves. The tide had gone out while I’d lain there, and the ocean was much farther away than I’d thought, but my arms and tail were strong as they propelled me across the sand.