Because You Love to Hate Me(18)
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
The real Gwen can’t take four steps without knocking into something and peeking around for someone to blame it on. The real Gwen puts concealer on the tiny birthmark on her cheek because she can’t stand a flaw and yet is drawn to me, whose face is a mess.
The real Gwen has a room full of well-thumbed books and yet acts barely literate in class so boys won’t think she’s a nerd. The real Gwen is complex and weird and cool and yet pretends to be shallow and simple and empty. I see through all of it. Real Gwen is the one I love.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
It says you read my last text.
Take me to Prom, Gwen. Who cares what people say?
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Say something.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
You can’t understand. Camelot is the only place where people still believe in me.
Please, Lance. Art is who I’m meant to be with.
Let me and him go to Prom.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
You got it. See ya
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Thank you, Lance. It means a lot.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Hey Art, looks like Lance is fine with it!! Says he’d be happy for you and me to go together. So . . . what time are you picking me up? :) We can just go in your car instead of some cheesy limo FROM: DAD
TO: GWEN
Guinevere, please give Cara the keys to the storage unit when she comes for them. They’re doing the appraisal of your mother’s clothes and jewelry today.
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
Hiiiii lovely, still no sign of your limo $??
FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Omg meant to write you—my date wants me to go in his car. Ugh :( Btw, if my first payment somehow goes through, mind sending it back to me?
FROM: ASSISTANT GIRL
TO: GWEN
Hello, Guinevere, it’s Cara Dos Santos. Your father said you’d be expecting me.
I’m outside Lioncelle Storage with the appraiser. Do you have the keys?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ASSISTANT GIRL
No.
FROM: ASSISTANT GIRL
TO: GWEN
He didn’t leave them with you?
FROM: GWEN
TO: ASSISTANT GIRL
Nope.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
You’re being quiet :)
Wait till you see my brand-new Prom dress
Would be fun if we could get you a tie to match!
** LIONCELLE STORAGE **
SECURITY ALERT—Dear Guinevere, Our records indicate the removal of one vintage gown from your storage unit early this morning. Please confirm . . .
FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Hey . . . you seen Art around?
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
He’s probably with Lance.
Lance lives near me and Art’s always there FROM: GWEN
TO: MORGAN
Since when??
FROM: MORGAN
TO: GWEN
Since forever. Why do you think the Knights leave Lance alone even tho he’s a loser He’s Art’s BFF
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
911 Are Lance and Art still in the gym? Art isn’t answering my texts.
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Been in the gym all morning. Haven’t seen either of them.
FROM: DAD
TO: GWEN
Guinevere, Cara says you just told her you don’t have the key! And yet the storage unit informed me you stopped by to take one of your mother’s gowns early this morning—a gown that was to be appraised and sold TODAY. Call me IMMEDIATELY.
FROM: GWEN
TO: DAD
Let’s have this conversation when we’re on the same continent.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Didn’t you say you were at the gym with Lance?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Hey! What’s up?
Lance and I blew off first couple periods so we could study FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Um. Okay. You said you were at the gym. But we’re all cool for Prom, right?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Actually Lance thinks it’d be funny if he and I just went together We hate Prom and we want everyone in that bet pool to lose Ha ha FROM: GWEN
TO: ART
Ha ha
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
You just unleashed the fires of hell.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Not even sweating.
Friday
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
TELL ME YOU’VE SEEN IT.
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
? Went for a run when I got up. Haven’t been near phone.
FROM: ELAINE
TO: GWEN
Someone started a Joust account for @Excalibur and posted a bunch of pics of Art side by side with limp noodles. Everyone’s saying Art has “issues.” That’s why he’s never been with a girl. That’s why he’s never asked you out!
FROM: GWEN
TO: ELAINE
Oh how rude! Poor Art.
FROM: LANCE
TO: GWEN
Pick up your phone. NOW.
FROM: GWEN
TO: LANCE
Getting warm, isn’t it?
FROM: ART
TO: GWEN
Lance is saying you started @Excalibur.