Beauty in Autumn (Beauty #3)(9)

Is he...is he that close to my bed? Close enough to touch? I lift my hand from my pussy, reaching out--

But he gives a feral snarl and in the next moment, he's gone.



Despite the fact that I only have three days to break this curse, Ruari leaves me alone all day the next day. I'm both angry and frustrated, because how is this helping anything if he ignores me? Does he not want to break the curse?

It's almost like he's angry at me.

I'm not really sure I understand why. Does he want this to fail? Is he finding life as the beast preferable to freedom from his curse? Or is he revolted by my rather wanton display last night? He seemed like he enjoyed it but how can I know for sure?

It's frustrating, and I feel hampered by the blindfold. With it on, I can't exactly explore the castle looking for him. It's a cursed castle, so any number of things could happen - I could fall out of a window into the moat. I could accidentally walk myself into the dungeon. I could fall down the stairs and snap my neck.

So I sit in my quiet, quiet room and wait for him to come back. I want to talk to him, to see what he's thinking. I want to know if he's having the same dreams I am. More than anything, I want to know if he even likes me. Sometimes I think he hates me - like right now, when he's abandoned me - but then I remember that he was spying on me while I slept. And he touched himself when I did. Those aren't the actions of someone who despises me.

I don't know what to think.

The day wears on and I explore my room. There's a shelf full of books - but I couldn't read them even if I didn't have a blindfold on. There's a basket of sewing materials - but I can't see. There's my large bed, the door that leads to the rest of the castle, and then my exploring fingers discover a large window and wooden shutters. I push them open, and a breeze wafts in, turning my cool room colder. Outside, though, I can hear the sounds of the forest of birds and leaves and the wind. I find a stool and pull it closer, turning my face to the outdoors. I can't see things, but hearing the sounds of the season outside helps me think. The wind on my cheeks makes me feel less isolated.

And since I have nothing to do all day, I think.

Ruari wants to ignore me. Perhaps he has been hurt so many times by the curse that he will put me away and try not to think about me until I am gone. He cannot hurt if he does not become attached, I think.

Well then, I must make myself impossible to ignore.





4





WILLOW


Later that night, when it grows colder and the crickets begin to chirp, I reluctantly shut my window and return to my bed. It has been a long, quiet day of blindness, and I touch my blindfold once more to ensure that it's firmly in place. Once I've reassured myself that it is, I pull my nightgown over my head and toss it to the floor, crawling under the blankets. I'm going to make sure he notices every little thing I do to myself tonight, even if he doesn't want to.

I suspect he'll be back again. Even if he doesn't want to talk to me, I don't think he'll be able to resist watching me. For all I know, he's been quietly watching me all day.

The thought of him watching me even now makes me quiver. I slide a hand under the blankets, cupping my breast. Does he see this? Has he been watching as I undressed? Wondering at my actions?

"Ruari?" I say softly, pushing the blankets down with my other hand so he can see my breasts. "Are you there?"

It's utterly silent. But that doesn't mean anything. That just means I haven't caught him off guard enough.

"I think you are," I say quietly. "I think if you only have a guest for a few days out of the year, you're going to come and watch her even if you don't want to. I think you won't be able to stay away."

There's no response.

I start to wonder if I'm wrong. Maybe he's not here watching me. Maybe he's not interested in me at all. It won't matter if Leta thinks I can break the curse if he isn't interested in me in the slightest. I slide my hands over my breasts and rub my nipples, tilting my head as if he's there and I'm speaking to him anyhow. "Do you want to watch me touch myself again tonight? Because I'm going to."

"Why do you do this?" His thick voice rasps after a moment. It sounds fiercer than before, more bestial. "Do you seek to torture me?"

"Not at all." I slide a hand down my belly. "Why can't I touch myself? Get what pleasure I want before my time is up?"

Footsteps. When he speaks next, he sounds a lot closer to my bed. "You wear your blindfold yet."

"I do." It's securely in place and I can't see a thing. I feel a little stab of regret that I can't see his face. I want to know what he looks like. I want to know everything about him. I want to see his eyes, because I want to know what he's thinking.

RIght now I'm just having to go on faith.

"Do you not wish to look upon the beast?" he asks me.

More than anything, I think to myself, but I continue to run my hands over my naked skin, touching myself. "Does it matter what you look like? It changes nothing about any of this."

"You might be horrified to see what I am truly like."

"You could be the ugliest creature in the world, and I am still here to become your bride," I tell him, softening the severity of my words with a smile. "We are both trapped in this, you and I. So I'd just prefer to let our minds meet for a while and let the rest work itself out."