Beautiful Mistake(41)

Now it was almost eleven o’clock at night, and I was parked two buildings away from Caine’s apartment. Suddenly all the angry nerve I’d harnessed on the drive over had disappeared, and I debated why I’d even come. Talk about emotionally unstable.

Why was I here? To tell off Caine, give him a piece of my mind for his hot-and-cold dismissive behavior. Sure, I wanted to tell him off. But I knew that’s not what I really wanted. Sitting in the still-warm car, I took out my phone and swiped to re-read Caine’s texts.

Don’t do something stupid to get even with me.

He wasn’t off base. My choices today—getting dressed up hours before dinner to go to class, showing up in something sexy, even deciding to go to dinner with Davis alone in the first place—they all had to do with Caine…and most of them were stupid.

I let out an exaggerated, heavy sigh. This visit was a bad idea. I tapped my forehead against the steering wheel a few times, mock knocking some sense into my brain. All of this emotional instability had taken its toll at once, and I was tired. Really tired. Taking one final look up at Caine’s building, I started my car and headed back home to Brooklyn.





Finding a parking spot in my neighborhood after eight o’clock was next to impossible. I was too tired to search and decided to head directly over to the overpriced parking garage five blocks away rather than get aggravated circling for an hour. I’d had my fill of aggravation for today.

By the time I reached my block, I was cursing my high heels, along with the city’s maintenance department for the crappy, broken sidewalks I had to walk on. I almost tripped three times. Finally arriving at my building, I winced up every step of the tall stairs. I grumbled to myself as I opened the outer door to the vestibule, finding it unlocked once again. Anyone could wander inside.

I jumped when I stepped in and found a man standing there. Instinctively, I started to scream.

Caine looked just as freaked out as I was. He held up his hands. “Rachel, it’s just me.”

I clutched at my chest. “What the hell are you doing? Trying to scare the living shit out of me?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. But the door was open, so I let myself in. I was just about to leave since you didn’t answer the buzzer.”

My heart hammered in my chest. This was the absolute day from hell. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to speak to you.”

My fright easily transformed into anger. “That’s right. We need to talk. You barked that to me in a text earlier.” I stretched the truth. “While I was saying goodnight to my date.”

Caine’s jaw flexed. “I’m glad you at least came home.”

I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt me. “Yes. I prefer a quick fuck and then to come home and sleep in my own bed.”

He spoke between gritted teeth. “Let’s go upstairs and talk, Rachel. I don’t want to have this conversation in the lobby of your building.”

“What conversation? I get it, Caine. You’re not interested. Well, your dick might be, but you’re not.”

He glared at me. “Five minutes. Can we please go upstairs and talk like adults?”

I glared right back. “Fine.”

The air crackled in the small elevator as we rode up to the third floor. I sensed Caine’s eyes on me, but refused to look anywhere but forward. When the elevator dinged on level three, it was reminiscent of a bell to start the next round of boxing. Round nine, coming up.

My apartment was small, but it suddenly felt like a shoebox. I dropped my purse in the kitchen and was about to relieve my throbbing feet from their torturous high heels when I thought better of it. I needed to stand taller, as close to eye to eye as I could come with Caine.

The tension grew each second as neither of us uttered a word. Finally, it was Caine who cracked under the pressure.

“I didn’t want you to make a mistake you’d regret because of the way we left things. But since I’m too late, maybe I should go.”

“You’re such an asshole!” I shouted.

Caine glared at me. His jaw was clenched so tight, I thought it possible he might crack a tooth. Seeing him pissed off made me feel stronger, fueled me. I was like a drug addict, and each burst of his anger was my fix. I wanted more.

“The world does not revolve around you. There are plenty of reasons to sleep with Davis that have nothing to do with you being an asshole. Let’s see…” I counted with my fingers. “One, he’s honest with himself. He doesn’t make up excuses to avoid the truth. Two, he admits when he’s wrong. Like tonight when he told me how much he misses me and wants me back.”

Caine’s nostrils were flaring, so I thought I’d help the explosion along.

“Three, he’s good in bed. Attentive and generous. You know, now that I think about it, there’s probably a relationship between being honest with yourself and your feelings and being a good fuck.”

Caine stood still, though I caught his fist clenching and unclenching by his side as he maintained control. The man was so frustrating and unbreakable. Infuriated, I went toward the kitchen to get something to drink. When he didn’t move out of my way, I brushed past him intentionally.

“Move, asshole.”

My breath caught as he grabbed my elbow from behind and spun me around. “You think honesty and being a good fuck go hand in hand? Here’s one that will cement you being right in calling me an asshole. You’re standing here telling me how you fucked another man, and all I can think about is how much would you hate me tomorrow if I showed you what it was like to be really fucked. Not nicely fucked. Pushed up against the wall and fucked while I suck on your skin hard enough to leave marks—so the next time you take your clothes off to get back at me, the asshole knows I’ve been there.”