Beautiful Broken Things(Beautiful Broken Things #1)(13)

I can try and pretend that I just didn’t realize that bringing up a subject I’d learned was potentially ‘triggering’ for Suzanne in front of her friends wasn’t a particularly nice thing to do.

But that would be a lie.

The following day Rosie and I arrived at the American diner on the seafront at lunchtime, a few minutes late because we’d missed the bus. Suzanne, Levina and Maya were already there, saving us a booth, talking animatedly. Suzanne was gesturing with her hands, and they were all laughing.

‘Hello!’ Rosie sang out, throwing herself into the booth.

‘Hey,’ Suzanne said, grinning at us.

‘Charlie text me,’ Levina said to Rosie. ‘He’s going to meet us later, with his friends.’

‘Cool,’ Rosie said. ‘What were you guys talking about?’

‘Suzanne’s incredibly successful date with Alex,’ Maya said, smirking.

‘And by incredibly successful,’ Suzanne said, taking a sip from her cup, ‘she means a complete disaster.’

‘What happened?’ Rosie asked.

‘He’s just an idiot. I mean, we had an OK time. We just went to the beach, and he was telling me about his band.’ She made a face. ‘Who sound crap, by the way. They’re modelling themselves on the Smiths. I was, like, aren’t you a bit young to try and be the Smiths? And he got all huffy and said that Morrissey was universal.’

‘That should have been your first clue,’ Maya said.

‘I know that now! Anyway, it turned out the band is actually his brother’s, and Alex is basically the guy who carries the amps and stuff. So I was ready to forgive him for that, but then he started talking about Grand Theft Auto instead, and I just about died. I kissed him just to get him to shut up.’

‘Oh, Suze,’ Rosie said, rolling her eyes.

‘It was worth it. He was actually pretty good at it. But anyway, that’s not the disaster bit. So I go home, and later that night he texts me. At first he’s being normal, and then, I swear out of nowhere, he says to me, “Send me a picture of your boobs.”’

‘What?’ Rosie and I said at the same time.

‘I know! It’s, like, learn to read the signs, dude.’

‘What did you say?’

‘What do you think I said? I said no! And so he tried to be all “ohh, I won’t tell anyone, please”. Really pathetic.’

‘God, this is so disappointing,’ Levina said, looking sad. ‘I thought he was cool. You’re ruining the illusion.’

‘Ruining the illusion is a public service,’ Suzanne said just as the waitress arrived.

We ordered our food even though I’d barely glanced at the menu, and waited until the waitress was out of earshot before starting up the conversation again.

‘Tell them about the Snapchat,’ Maya urged. She was grinning.

Suzanne was pressing her lips together, clearly trying to suppress a laugh. ‘So, after I’d said no a few times, he Snapchatted me a picture of his dick.’

‘What?’ Rosie and I shrieked this time, and our whole table burst out laughing, so loud that people at other tables turned to look at us.

‘I know,’ Suzanne said. ‘I couldn’t believe it either. And it was like this.’ She held her hands in the gesture I recognized she’d been making when we first walked in, indicating, I presumed, a small penis. ‘Definitely not picture material. Which I guess is why he Snapchatted it.’ She sighed. ‘The real sad thing is that it was a Snapchat, so I can’t even show you.’

‘What a shame,’ Maya said, deadpan.

‘And then he says, “You can Snapchat your boobs.” And I said, “I’ll Snapchat your face,” and he thought I was flirting with him, because then he really did send me a Snapchat of his face. And then I gave up and just stopped replying.’

‘Have you heard from him since?’ I asked.

‘He sent me a few after I stopped replying, basically calling me a bitch.’ She seemed unconcerned about this. ‘The moral is, I wasted my time, which would have been better spent with you guys.’ She was looking at me as she said this, smiling her usual friendly smile.

I smiled back, but all I could think was, Trauma triggers: experiences that trigger traumatic memories. It just didn’t make sense. How could anyone who’d been in any way traumatized be so bright and cheerful? I watched her face as she turned to Maya, lifting her hands to illustrate some new joke she was making, scanning for hints. But there was nothing. Just her, all smirks and eye rolls and wisecracks. The picture of ordinary happiness.

After our food arrived and the conversation lulled, I decided to go for it. ‘So, what’s going on in Corrie at the moment?’

‘You don’t watch Corrie,’ Rosie said. I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, Suzanne lift her straw to her teeth and begin chewing on it, her face passive.

‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I saw some stuff about it on Facebook. I’m just curious.’

‘Yeah, there’s supposed to be this big controversial storyline,’ Maya said, ‘but it’s not that controversial really.’

‘It’s been building for ages,’ Levina added. ‘Weeks.’

Maya nodded. ‘It was getting pretty boring. Denise has this new boyfriend, Dave, see, and her daughter, Clarise, who’s, what, fifteen?’