Bear Fur Hire (Bears Fur Hire #2)(40)

He’d given her his mark, but maybe that didn’t mean as much to her. Maybe humans didn’t feel bonds like shifters did. He didn’t know. All he knew was that for the first time in his life, he hated what he was because Bear had cost him Lena.

Lena would be it for him. For the rest of his life, he would never want another. His bear had chosen, and now she was an hour away from leaving, and she seemed completely at ease.

“Fuck!” he yelled, chucking a heavy tree branch into the woods.

He was burning alive and she was fine. Smiling. Beautiful, perfect, strong, too good for him, and a panicked part of him wanted to beg her to stay. He wanted to beg her to feel something for him and not flip that switch so easily. Was he really so easy to forget?

He paced in front of the deck, running his hands roughly over his hair.

Lennard had told him “good job.” He’d said Lena had filled out a survey first thing this morning and given Jenner all five stars. Called him an “attentive and professional guide,” and she would recommend him to anyone. Her answers had been emotionless.

She wasn’t fighting this at all, and that fact was relentlessly slicing up his insides until he wanted to Change just to escape these roiling human sentiments.

The scent of dominant grizzly hit his nose an instant before he turned around to find Tobias standing there. A mass of emotions washed over him. His bear wanted to kill him, but the human side of Jenner was relieved to see Tobias after all this time. He hadn’t laid eyes on him since Ian and Elyse’s wedding at the beginning of the warm season. And dammit, right now, he needed something. Someone. He needed his brother to tell him it would be okay.

“What have you done?” Tobias asked softly.

“I claimed her.” Jenner swallowed and linked his hands behind his head. He nearly choked on the poisonous words as he admitted again, “I claimed her.”

He thought Tobias would be pissed. He thought he would want to fight him, bleed him, because that’s what Tobias did. His bear was a brawler, but instead, pity and understanding slashed through his brother’s green eyes. “You can’t keep her, can you?”

Jenner’s chin trembled, and he swallowed his emotion down, dragged his gaze to the river so his brother wouldn’t see how weak he was. “I can’t keep her. She’s not even having a hard time leaving me. I picked someone who doesn’t feel the same. And it’s good, you know? It’s good for her to leave but f*ck it all, I thought it would be harder on her.”

“Like it is on you?”

Jenner nodded and swallowed over and over to keep from retching.

“You marked her?”

“I couldn’t help it.”

“Shit.”

Jenner let off an angry laugh. “Yeah.”

Tobias approached and pulled him into a rough hug, shocking Jenner to complete stillness. “I’m sorry brother. I don’t envy the hurt you’ll feel when she’s gone.” Tobias clapped him so hard on the back, Jenner’s bones rattled, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Jenner gave him a quick hug back before Tobias disengaged. Both of their bears were snarling and enraged, and the pungent stink of dominance was a heavy fog between them, but as Tobias strode for the lodge, Jenner realized this was the first time his brother had embraced him since they were kids. Since before they turned into bears for the first time. Since that first hibernation when Tobias’s bear had tried his damndest to kill him.

So there was the silver lining. He would lose his heart when Lena left. He would lose an important piece of himself, but because of his pain, he’d had this profound moment with Tobias. At least there was that.

Jenner took a long, steadying breath, then walked back to the lodge where Lena was saying goodbye to everyone on the front porch. He rested one boot on the bottom stair and waited for her to finish hugging the Dawsons. With a sympathetic look, Tobias strode past him, loaded down with Lena’s belongings, and headed for the runway. Dalton and Chance pulled Lennard inside, leaving him and Lena alone.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking on the apology.

“Shhh,” she said, cupping his cheek.

He leaned into her touch and scraped his three day scruff against her soft palm, reveling in the last touch he would ever have from her.

“Everything will be okay. You’ll be okay,” she murmured.

The morning sunlight landed in her soft brown eyes, making them look devastatingly beautiful. He couldn’t do this. He had to do this. He wanted to roar and claw and keep her here, but he couldn’t hurt her life like that.

“Say it before I go,” she murmured.

Oh, he knew what she meant. Say the three words he hadn’t yet, but that she had gifted him time and time again. “Why?”

“Because I need to hear it, and you need to say it. Because I want to know this wasn’t just pretend to you.”

He swallowed hard and rasped out, “I love you, Lena.”

Lena let off a soft gasp and closed her eyes, as if she’d been waiting for those words all her life. Unable to help himself, Jenner leaned forward and kissed her, and slowly, she softened against him and parted her lips, allowing him to brush his tongue against hers for the last time. Last taste. Last kiss. Not enough.

Lena looked devastated when she pulled away, but instead of saying anything, she handed him an envelope.