Baddest Bad Boys(37)

“Don’t think about her,” he said flatly. “Just turn it off.”

She snorted. “Like it’s so easy. How’s the shoulder?”

“Healed up.” He opened his mouth to launch into his rehearsed spiel, and something else popped out. “You didn’t come to the hospital.”

“Danny kept me updated,” she replied stiffly.

“Still. It would have been nice to see you.”

She hesitated. “I’ve been meaning to send a note. To thank you.”

“A goddamn note?” His voice cracked.

She made a sharp gesture. “I thought if I came in person, it might be, um, awkward. Considering.”

He snorted. “Did you now.” She hunched her shoulders. They looked like they were vibrating. She was crying. Smooth move, Jon.

“This isn’t fair,” she said, her low voice shaking. “The last time we were together, you screamed at me, insulted me, told me not to trust you. Then you pinned me to the bed and coerced me into weird sex—”

“I did not coerce—”

“Shut up. Don’t play word games. You know exactly what I mean.”

He shut his mouth. Now was not the time to contradict her.

“Then I get attacked by a psycho serial killer who’s trying to punish you. You rescue me from a horrible fate, which was very nice of you, but God, Jon! Talk about mixed messages! My circuits blew!”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted.

She looked over her shoulder, and regarded him with wet, suspicious eyes. “For what?”

He hesitated. “For freaking out,” he said heavily. “For saying all that rude, crazy stuff to you. I got scared. I hadn’t made the leap yet.”

“What leap?” she demanded.

“I hadn’t realized…” His voice cracked, trailed off. He coughed.

Robin stamped her foot. “Realized what?”

Heat followed cold, flushing through his body. The pressure built, the cork finally popped. “That I love you!” he yelled.

Her eyes went wide. Her knees about buckled.

There it was, his heart ripped loose and bleeding out. All he had to do now was grit his teeth and wait for the verdict to come down.

I love you.

The words reverberated, unravelling all she’d done to put her sorry self together after that shattering weekend.

She still felt so fragile, even after all the psychobabble, the pep talks, the chocolate. Not to mention all the disapproval from Mac and Danny. The frantic bustle of packing up, leaving town, finding a place to crash and some waitressing gigs had helped, but still, it all crashed down on her whenever she tried to rest. So she avoided rest. Food, too. She was running on coffee, adrenaline, and self-denial.

That blunt I love you was an explosive charge in the depths of her being. And it was bringing her down, down, down.

“Oh, God. You twisted, sadistic bastard,” she whispered.

He hesitated. “Huh. That was not the response I was hoping for.”

“Don’t you be flip with me,” she hissed. She covered her shaking face with her hands. “You want to get laid, I presume. You’ll be all sweet and nice, f*ck me practically senseless, and when I least expect it, you’ll put it to me? Make me feel like I’m an inch tall?”

He closed his eyes. His jaw ached. “No,” he said. “Never again.”

“Then why did you do it in the first place?” she demanded.

“Because I was scared! I was an idiot!” he yelled. “I wasn’t used to feeling that way. I wasn’t used to giving a shit. I panicked! I’m sorry!”

“You’re sorry,” she repeated. “He’s sorry. So you were scared, huh? Are you scared now? Because you should be, Jon. You should be!”

The truth rasped his throat like cactus spines. “Sure I am. Scared you’ll turn me down. That you won’t give me another chance. Scared that I killed this thing we have between us stone cold dead.”

He’d let that last phrase dangle, almost like a question.

She ground her knuckles into her wet eyes and then remembered the mascara caked on her lashes. Damn. “And when did this epiphany take place?” Her voice sounded both shaky and bratty to her own ears.

“It started when we were making love that last time—”

“No, Jon. Not making love. Fucking me. Call it what it is, please.”

He shoved doggedly on. “Uh, whatever. Then you walked out the cabin door and took all the oxygen with you. That was my second clue.”

Tears spilled over again. She turned away, dabbing and sniffing.

“And when that crazy bitch got to you, I went nuts. I knew I’d die, too. That you are the most important thing that ever happened to me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to the hospital,” she whispered. “I couldn’t risk feeling any worse than I did. One more hit, and I was going down.”

He made an incredulous sound. “I jumped on a van in motion, crashed into a tree and took a bullet, and you thought I’d blow you off?”

She shook her head. “You’d do that for any stranger you met on the street,” she whispered. “I’d be a bubblehead to take it personally.”

“Oh, what a crock of steaming shit,” he said savagely.