Bad Romeo Christmas: A Starcrossed Anthology (Starcrossed #4)(59)

I do a few flexes and pose. Yep. Definitely weird.

My phone starts up with Elissa's ring tone, and I drop my pose to grab it, embarrassed I was behaving like a meathead, even in the privacy of my own room.

"Hey, you."

"Hey,” she says. “Where are you?" I can hear chatter and the sound of glasses clinking in the background. "You realize this is a New Year's Eve party, right? That means you're supposed to get here before the new year."

"Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. I'm still figuring out what to wear."

"What's to figure out? It's a costume party. You'll dress up as Captain Kirk, as usual."

I'm not embarrassed to admit that I paid three hundred dollars on EBay for an authentic Kirk uniform a few years ago, and it's become my go-to costume for any occasion. Even wore it to my cousin's Bar Mitzvah for shits and giggles. Aunt Bethany still isn't talking to me over that.

I'd like to say that I chose to hire an alternate costume for tonight because the other one's so tight now I look like a Star Trek strip-o-gram, but that's not it. It's because I've worked hard to look different, and goddammit, maybe just once in my life I want to feel what it's like to be the hero and not the geek. Angel deserves a leading man, not the comic relief. If I can pull this off, maybe I can stop being so goddamn insecure about the Adonises with which I seem to be surrounded.

"What did you and Quinn go as?" I ask.

"You'll see when you get here, which I hope is soon."

"Tell me it's not some nauseatingly hip couple's costumes."

She pauses. "Okay, I won't tell you that. But Josh, hurry uuuuup! Marco's asked me twice if you're coming, and I need my bestie hugs. I haven't seen you since Liam and I got back from the island. I miss you. Come drink with meeeee!"

I chuckle. I've been dying to see her, but my Gammy hasn't been well, so I moved out of Liam's pad and back to Mom and Dad's to help take care of her. Plus, Lissa and Liam have had their hands full dodging the media frenzy from their naked picture debacle. God, it's like most Americans have never seen naked bodies before. I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Ironically, when I said that to the girl who was filling Gammy's prescription at the drug store, she quipped that if I didn't understand it, I hadn't seen the size of Liam Quinn's man member. After judging her for using the term man member, I joked that the whole thing had been photoshopped, and I knew for a fact that Quinn was packing an acorn in his pants.

I've never seen someone look so disappointed in my life. I felt so bad, I tried to tell her I was joking, but the words wouldn't come out. I think it's an ingrained male response to pay out on other guys' dick size. Who am I to argue with nature?

"Josh? Helloooo?"

"Sorry. Just thinking about your boyfriend's dick."

"Me, too. Bestie mind meld!"

"Yeah, but most of the time when I ask what's on your mind you say Liam's dick, so I don't think it's much of an achievement."

"Yes, but knowing you're thinking about it too makes me feel special. Now, get your ass over here! There are a whole bunch of shots with our names on them. God knows I don't want you anywhere near sober when the countdown hits and you start lamenting about your woman being on the other side of the world."

"Way ahead of you. Had two beers with dinner. Mom did not approve."

"That's because you burp like a frat boy when you drink beer."

"I've told you before, Lissa, the bubbles have to go somewhere. Better out the top than out the bottom."

There's a knock on my door, and my Gammy calls out, "Joshua? Are you still there? Don't forget to show me your costume before you go."

I put my hand over the phone. "I'll be out in a sec." I go back to Elissa. "K, better go before she barges in on me in my underwear. Again. See you in twenty minutes."

"K. See you then."

I hang up and throw my phone on the bed.

All right, Kane. No more bullshit. No one's going to tease you tonight. Get your ass into that costume and go on your way.

I head into the bathroom and open the small plastic case on the sink. My eye doctor convinced me to try contacts last time I got new glasses, but I seriously couldn't be bothered poking myself in the eyeballs every day, so I've barely worn them. Tonight, however, I need to be spec free.

I take a deep breath and take off my glasses. It feels weird leaving them behind. They've become such an integral part of my identity, my face feels naked without them.

"Okay. Here we go."

I fight with the floppy plastic bastards for a good ten minutes before I successfully get them both in, and by then my eyes are streaming. I grab some toilet paper and dab my face. "Fuck me. Bet Clark Kent never had to go through this bullshit."

When I'm done, I check myself out.

Man, it's weird being able to see clearly without having anything on my face. Combine my lack of glasses with my slicked-back hairstyle and my new body, and I barely look like myself.

I take a deep breath.

Well, I guess that's the point, isn't it? Let's do this.

???

Five minutes later I stand in front of Gammy feeling weird and awesome all at once.