Bad Nanny (The Bad Nanny Trilogy #1)(70)
I'm not going to fall in love with a guy just because I lost my virginity to him.
No f*cking way.
“Okay, here's your controller,” he says, handing me a black remote from the coffee table. “Now, are you ready for me to beat your ass at this? I'm not holding back just because you've got a sexy mouth and a curvy little body.”
“Hah.” I set the food aside and take my controller in hand. “I'm ready for this. Bring it on, bitch.”
“Oooh, gettin' all aggressive, I see. I like it.” Zay licks the back of my ear and then turns on the TV as I shiver and fight back yet another rush of hormones and sex. We'll get to that eventually, he says. Hmm. We'll see. “Now pick a character and let's do this thing.”
I smile and lean into Zay's warm body, loving the strength of his arms around me and the patter of his heart. It's something I could get used to, if I were looking for love that is. But I have enough to worry about without adding one more thing to my plate.
No matter how much I don't want to, when it comes time to let Zayden go, I'll do it with grace and poise.
It's the best thing for both of us.
When I wake up on the couch, still wrapped in Zayden's arms, I almost have a panic attack.
We only have five days, four nights left. Four. And I just wasted one. I sit up suddenly and try to breathe through the irrational feeling in my chest. This is so dumb, I think as I look at his adorable sleeping face. He's sexy as hell, but like this, with his eyes closed and those full lips gently parted, he's kind of … sweet, too. When I reach up and run my fingers across the shaved side of his head, Zayden stirs, yawning and lifting his arms in a stretch.
I don't remember when, but sometime during the night he took his shirt off. I didn't realize it until now, but the jewelry in his nipples, they're miniature swords. I reach out and tug on one, making him groan at the same time Sadie starts to fuss.
“I'll get her,” I say as I stand up and Zayden yawns again, scratching loosely at his abs with those sexy fingers of his. The way his ink is done, it just draws the eye in an easy arc from fingertips to shoulder, across the chest, down the other side. I can never seem to just glance at it and then look away; I always have to stare.
I move over to the opposite side of the living room and pick Sadie up, setting her up on the carpet and changing her diaper. I haven't done this in, like, forever but I used to babysit in high school so I figure it out pretty quickly. Admittedly, it's kind of gross, but manageable. As I squeeze Sadie's chubby foot, I find that I can't stop myself from fantasizing about what Zayden's babies might look like.
And here we go again with the damn hormones.
I finish changing the kid, standing up and balancing her on my hip as Zayden lays on the couch with a satisfied, sleepy expression on his face.
“Since it's monsoon f*cking pourin' out there,” he says as he points toward the expanse of the bay window with his inked hand, “I was thinking: mall first. 'cause then we can get those big ass pretzels with the cinnamon and sugar on them and let the kids burn energy at the indoor play place. Then—and check this brilliance right here—we pick up hot wings and burgers and veg out right in front of the TV.”
Zayden turns on his side to stare at me, propping his head up with his hand.
“What do you think?” he asks when I just get caught there staring at him. There's this surreal moment where it almost feels like the eight of us are a family or something … and it feels kind of … good?
“I—” I should probably tell Zay I have homework and use his free babysitting skills to get some studying done. But then I look into his eyes, into that pale color that burns so bright with playful energy that I can't say no. I just can't. Not going to happen. “Okay.”
When he smiles at me, I feel almost dizzy.
How stupid is that?
“Here,” I say, coming over to stand next to the couch. “You feed the baby, and I'll get the kids up.” As I hand Sadie to Zayden, I feel his fingers slide across my skin, hot as coals, and pull away as quickly as I can. It's like, when our skin's touching, I don't think with a clear head.
“Don't make me give you another lecture about piercing hygiene,” Zayden shouts as I start up the stairs and feel my lips break into a smile. “If you don't clean it properly, I'll know about it.”
I grin and shake my head as I slip into Grace's room to wake her and Kinzie up.
I have a feeling that today, today is going to be a good day.
The play place at the mall isn't exactly the most exciting destination, but then, Eureka isn't the most exciting town in the world. The only things we have in spades here are outdoor beauty … and rain. Sort of a frustrating dichotomy if you think about it.
Zayden buys the kids whatever treats they want from the food court and then sets 'em loose on the playground as we take a seat on one of the benches. I haven't been here since I got back in town and wow, it brings some old memories crashing to the forefront of my mind.
“The first boy I ever kissed, I kissed right here,” I tell Zay, pointing at the hideous faux granite linoleum beneath our feet. It hasn't changed at all in the last ten years. The only thing that's different about this place are the stores. When I was younger, there used to be an interesting mix of local shops. Now, one whole wing of the mall is empty, advertising storefronts for rent, and the rest of it's been turned into outward facing big box stores like Petco and Kohl's.