Baby Doll(82)

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT


LILY


Five months. It had been exactly five months since Rick’s death, and Lily still hated visiting Abby at the Oakwood Behavioral Center. Arriving for her weekly visitation, checking in with security, she’d wait at the designated table, trying to ignore the antiseptic smell as drugged-up patients, eyes vacant and cloudy from medication, shuffled in.

In the aftermath of Rick’s stabbing, the media frenzy reached a fever pitch. The news cycle was insatiable, only heightened by the news that Rick had had a new lady love. His fiancée, a guard at the jail, was demanding justice for her slain lover. Authorities launched an investigation and discovered the woman was not a crackpot as they first thought, but that Rick had in fact been planning an escape with her. The love letters written between Rick and the woman revealed that he had orchestrated the whole thing.

The woman, her face plastered on every morning news show, pleaded with the public to rally around her cause. But she was a joke, comic relief. Lily was grateful that no one took her seriously, other than reveling in her delusion. In fact, the public was squarely on Abby’s side. But the law was still the law. Abby had taken a life and would have to face the consequences.

Elijah, the district attorney, accepted Abby’s plea of temporary insanity, and Abby was committed to a midlevel psychiatric facility for an indeterminate amount of time. Some people who committed violent crimes served a year or two in mental institutions before being released. Others were never ready to reenter society.

Lily was outraged that Abby had to serve any time at all. She’d been on a mission to overturn the sentence and bring her sister home. She was meeting with doctors and lawyers, reaching out to elected officials. Whatever it took. She’d arrived with news—the governor had finally agreed to meet with her.

“Isn’t that great news, Abby? I’m almost certain he’ll be receptive to my argument. There was a case in California, where a woman killed her abuser…”

Abby grabbed Lily’s hands.

“I need you to stop, Lil. Please.”

Lily was confused. “Stop what?”

“All of this. The meetings, the interviews. It has to stop,” Abby demanded.

“But if I can sit down with the governor, and explain that you’re okay, you can come home.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

Lily shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. Once you’re back home with us, with David and Wes—”

“Damn it, Lily, I’m not f*cking leaving here.” Abby’s voice was shrill as she pounded the table.

Lily knew Abby’s look well. It was one she’d worn for eight long years. A look of pure and total terror.

Abby took a deep breath.

“For so long, I was scared of everything, Lil. School and work, even the grocery store was a nightmare. Everything I did filled me with this dread that I couldn’t explain. I was so angry and so lonely and so… so lost. I thought you coming home would fix it, but it’s all still there. Bubbling inside me. Churning around. I want to get rid of it. I want to be strong and I’m getting there. Some days, I wake up, and I almost feel like my old self, like the Abby I was before you left. I want to laugh again. I want to be able to hold my son and sleep with Wes without worrying that it’s all going to go away. I’m learning how to deal with everything. I’m coming to terms with what I’ve done. I killed someone and I have to live with that. I can’t half ass my recovery. I have to be a hundred percent. For Wes. For David. But especially for you, Lilypad.”

Lily sat there, not quite knowing what to say or do. Ever since that day in the jail when Abby hugged her, when she realized what her sister had done, all Lily wanted was to make things right. But if this was what Abby wanted, Lily had to honor her wishes.

“Then I’ll stop fighting. For now. But you can’t give up. Promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to get back to us.”

“You know I will.”

Lily took a deep breath, forcing herself not to cry. “Enough of this,” Abby said. “Mom mentioned on the phone that you had some good news.”

Lily hesitated. “I told her not to mention it.”

“Come on, Lil, you’re not holding out on me, are you?”

Lily smiled and reached into her bag and pulled out a letter. Abby quickly scanned the paper.

“You got into Bucknell?”

“A full scholarship. Can you believe it?”

“Hell yes I believe it! My sister’s a genius,” Abby said, beaming. She held up the acceptance letter, showing it off to the nearby orderly.

“Reuben, my sister got into college. Isn’t that amazing?”

He grinned and gave them the thumbs-up. Lily grabbed the letter from Abby, fighting to stop from blushing. Abby was studying Lily. Her smile quickly faded.

“Okay, what’s the hangdog expression about? This is great news. You should be jumping up and down.”

Lily rarely talked about her troubles. The last thing she wanted to do was waste her limited time with Abby discussing her problems.

“I’m just not sure I’m ready.”

“You are so ready. It would be crazy not to go. And we all know that I’m the expert on crazy,” Abby said with a wry laugh.

But Lily was struggling, wrestling with this decision. “I’ll be older than all the students.”