Autumn Storm (The Witchling #2)(54)

“Hi, Decker,” she said.

His face rippled, human-inhuman-human. The sight made her stomach sink. He paced onto the bridge and paused in front of her. His shadows were restrained again this day. She found herself leaning back anyway, her breathing already irregular.

“I didn’t think you’d come today,” she said, gazing up at him.

“I wanted to see you,” he said. “I’m here to say good-bye.”

“Where are you…” she trailed off. Fear that wasn’t wholly hers pierced her thoughts.

“The Darkness is taking me. I want it to. It’ll make life easier.”

“Decker …” she said, aghast.

“I’m not sure when it’ll happen. Soon, though.”

“Why?”

“I won’t hurt anyone this way.”

Speechless, Autumn searched his face. She saw resolution there. It terrified her on levels she wasn’t able to access. The fear penetrated the recesses of her mind. He killed innocent witchlings. He might’ve kidnapped Tanya.

I can’t lose him.

He slept around. He’d never be loyal to her. Even if he was, how did she live with him, knowing the things he did?

We belong together.

Her logic and instincts warred.

“There’s another way,” she said at last. “I mean, you can’t …Decker.” His name came out choked. She was panicking, the same sense of fear and dread filling her that she experienced watching the ghost of Summer on the cliff.

“You’re so sweet, Autumn,” he said. His face softened. He reached forward to brush away a tear she hadn’t noticed. His touch burned, and he paused, meeting her gaze again. The connection was enough for fire to light her blood. Desire flared in his dark eyes. His hand dropped.

“Isn’t there anything I can say or do?” she asked, distraught.

“No.” His voice was firm. “I made that mistake once. I won’t risk it again. You all will be better off this way without me in your lives screwing things up.”

“You shouldn’t get to make that decision for me!” She flushed with anger.

“If I hadn’t pushed the last girl I cared about off a cliff…”

Autumn wasn’t sure which hit her harder: the fact he admitted what he’d done or that he cared about her. As if aware of what he’d said, his face turned pink.

“I can’t control what I am, Autumn. I couldn’t stand it if I hurt you.”

“I refuse to believe it’s hopeless.”

“It’s not. I’m taking the path that will protect everyone.”

His decision was made. She didn’t know what else to say. Her mind was making things worse, because the emotional side wouldn’t quiet down long enough for her to know what to do. She wiped her eyes.

“I’ll miss you,” she said. “I hope you change your mind.”

“You’ll be the first to know.” He studied her features, the need still in his eyes. “Farewell kiss?”

She answered by eliminating the distance between them, as she had after their walk. Decker eased closer and smoothed errant curls away from her face. He tucked them behind her ears before tilting her face up. He held her gaze, tracing her jaw line.

No part of Autumn urged her to resist this time. His tender caress left trails of fire across her skin. When his lips met hers, he released some of the passion he’d withheld the first time he kissed her. Deep and demanding, his hunger for her swept away any doubt she belonged to him, if not in this life, then in another. Autumn’s body yielded, and his arms circled her, absorbing her into his shadows, warmth and scent. She tasted his need – and his desperation. Both compelled her sense of urgency upwards.

She clung to him, as aware of her own surrender as she was the tremor going through his body. Their magicks mixed and flowed, the five elements balanced in perfect harmony.

Whatever they had been – or were meant to be – she had to save him.

Decker withdrew. His breathing was as heavy as hers. His hands remained on her face, his cheek against hers.

“I’m sorry, Autumn,” he whispered.

The words she wanted to say were stuck in her throat. She didn’t want to leave his arms or let him face his fate alone.

With effort, he moved away from her. She steadied herself as his hands left her body. Emotions wriggled free of the barrier blocking her memories. Though he’d only held her once, his sudden absence left her feeling empty. Alone. Lost.

“Decker,” she called, near breathless from his kiss.

He stopped at the edge of the bridge.

“There must be another way.” The words sounded so useless to her own ears. Emotions and the affect of his lingering shadows drove away her ability to put into words what the hidden memories were trying to tell her.

“The … the Darkness will protect you from me. This is the only way,” he repeated.

Every instinct in her body warned her otherwise. She didn’t understand how he’d fallen so far as to believe the world was better off without him, with the Darkness in his place. Autumn sagged against the railing of the bridge, head pounding.

She’d failed him.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?”

Beck’s soothing touch was on her arm. His magick eased her distress, and the panic that had seized her began to subside. She was shaking and crying, unaware she did either before his touch.