Autumn Storm (The Witchling #2)(36)
His eyes went to his hands. He recalled the look on Autumn’s face when he held them up, and warmth crept up his neck. He honestly hadn’t wanted to scare her, especially now that he knew she was the only one who understood what real pain was. The Darkness had crept upon him, though, when they stood here on the cliff. It was harder and harder to control it, the few times he wanted to.
“How many tonight?” Beck asked in a hushed voice.
Decker shrugged.
“Decker, I know you killed innocent Light witchlings.”
“In the morning, Beck. Just be my brother tonight.”
“I’m always your brother. I worry about you more than you’ll ever know.”
“Thanks,” Decker said. Desolation crept into him. One day, he knew he’d be at odds with Beck. It was the nature of their duties: Light and Dark needed one another but were in a constant struggle. One day, he’d lose Beck, too, when the madness took him.
Not tonight, though. Tonight, he had his brother. Tomorrow was a different story. Beck was going to tell him not to kill Light witchlings. If Decker wanted the Darkness to consume him, he’d have to kill more of them. Their battle was about to begin.
Autumn. A fitting name for the girl who came during the part of his life when he was trying to die.
Despite his claim not to care, he began to agree with Beck that knowing what happened the night Summer died might help him. Somehow. He wasn’t certain how.
It won’t help you, Bartholomew disagreed. It might tarnish how you think of her.
Those words made Decker vow not to ask Biji ever. Summer was the only bright spot in his life. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle discovering what she might’ve done. After all, she’d still be dead, and he’d still be responsible.
As usual, Bartholomew was right.
Chapter Nine
Beck gazed into the canyon. Knowing Decker’s pain and seeing it were two different things. As concerned as he was about his brother, he focused on Autumn finding her way to the cliff again, even after warning her off this morning. She shouldn’t be alone with Decker. He was too unstable, and she hadn’t yet gone through her second trial. Beck wasn’t allowing anyone or anything to interfere with it, no matter how much pain Decker was in.
Another emotion spiked when Decker said he’d kissed her. Jealousy. Beck wasn’t sure what to do about it. He was attracted to her, but he was attracted to most pretty blonds. This, however, seemed to be more than her adorable features. The combination of sweet and tough made him as interested in interacting in her as he was her slim body.
Was everything he felt towards her natural, given his duty? He hadn’t thought twice about it, before the pang of jealousy.
His instincts were quiet. They didn’t know, either, and he wanted to throw something. Decker was being absorbed by the Dark, and Beck didn’t know how to help anyone he was obligated to protect.
If he failed to keep Autumn and Decker apart until Autumn completed her trial, it’d cost much more than her life. He’d lose everyone. He’d respect Decker’s wishes tonight. In the morning, they’d have a talk, one where he told his brother he couldn’t tolerate the slaughtering of Light witchlings or go near Autumn. He didn’t expect it to go over well.
Tonight was probably the last night they’d ever sit as brothers.
“This is so hard,” Beck whispered. “Did you know being … us would be like this?”
“No. It’s a curse.”
“Yeah.” He was touched by the hollowness in Decker’s eyes.
Beck couldn’t think of anything worse than witnessing Decker’s descent into madness, except Decker taking everyone else with him. Beck hoped Autumn would prevent it. He’d hoped he could prevent it. The idea he might not be able to protect Autumn and the witchlings while saving Decker from himself never crossed his mind before this night.
“I’m gonna go,” Beck said. “I’ll come see you in the morning?”
Decker nodded once. Beck stood. He wished there was something else to say. Something that helped one of them. If he hadn’t made a promise to Sam, he’d reveal to Decker what happened to Summer. It’d give Decker some hope to keep him from sinking into the Darkness. It’d probably jeopardize her second chance, which meant he’d destroy Decker forever.
Hang in there, Decker, Beck begged his twin silently. His throat tightened, and he had the urge to run until the wired energy of his worried mind was gone. Instead, he turned away and walked to the corridor leading back to the school. A look over his shoulder revealed Decker kneeling at the cliff, his head bowed. Were there tears on his face?
Guilty with the secrets he kept, Beck couldn’t stand to stay longer. He trudged through the forest, breathing in the cold air. There was no way he’d sleep tonight. He reached the Square and paused outside his dorm room. Instead of reaching for the handle, he continued to the main house through the kitchen and grabbed a few cookies. He heard the sound of the television in the living area before he emerged from the hallway and paused, not feeling up to entertaining people like he usually did. He rarely wanted to be alone. If ever there was a time, it was tonight.
No one’s head was visible over the couch. He ventured closer to see if the TV was left on by accident and saw Autumn’s small frame curled up on one end of the couch, her bad leg kicked out on the ottoman. A faint flush was on her face. It stirred the part of him that was attracted to her while leaving him dismayed as well. He’d hoped Decker was messing with him about the kiss.