And the Trees Crept In(56)

After that, I told Mam I was hungry. She found ten pounds in her pocket and we went to McDonald’s and had a feast. I was sick for three days straight after that, but it was worth it. Mam kept saying it was all her fault, she should have fed me better, stopped me at McChicken Sandwich number two, but I kept grinning while I puked and told her it was the best day of my life.

Hunger. It stays with you.

It’s like a disease that you can never shake.

Well, I suppose that’s not strictly true.

If you’re dead, there’s not much use for hunger, is there? So all I have to do is die.

Ha.





The pain passes slowly, and my stomach moves and complains inside me. When it is silent enough that I can move, I find that I am lying at the entrance to a dark, wet-smelling cave. I sense the depth within it the same way I sensed the depths of the hole. This is not a place I want to be.

Deep within the chasm, I hear dripping water— and a tinkling bell.

“Don’t go in there.”

I gasp as I spin, hands raised to defend myself. Gowan’s own hands are limp at his sides.

“Why the hell not?”

“Please, Silla, could you just trust me?”

“No.”

He sighs. “I love my anger.” He quotes my own words back at me, and I nod.

My anger is all I have now.

“And I’m going to find my sister, so you better stay out of my way, Creeper Man.”

“You know I’m not him.”

I raise my eyebrows—a monumental exertion of will. “Oh, really.”

His lips are set in a grim line and he nods. “Let me come with you. You don’t have to do everything alone.”

I want to protest right away. I want to say, No. No, I don’t need your help. I don’t need you.

But I would be lying.

Instead, I turn back to the cave and walk carefully inside.

The light disappears.

Nothing much happens for a long time. The walls around us curve upward, and I have the impression of willingly walking down the gullet of some giant stone creature—a long granite snake, maybe. Not even that would surprise me now.

And all of a sudden, this seems irrationally funny.

And I laugh.

And I can’t stop laughing.

My laughter becomes hysterical before I can contain it and I fall against the wall, clutching my sides.

“A—snake!” I manage, giggling.

Gowan looks at me like I have, finally, snapped. But he is grinning, too.

“I just… This is so messed up.”

Gowan looks around him, at where we are, at where we’ve come from, and grins. “Yeah.”

A tinkling echoes between us, cutting my laugh off like a diamond scalpel. Sharp and brutal. Quick and silent.

Gowan says, “Wait” at the same moment I rush off into the dark.

By the time he’s reached me, bringing the flame of his lighter with him, I am standing stock-still. I don’t understand what I am looking at.

Before me, on the floor, is a crumpled pile of cloth. Only, no—not cloth. Clothes.

“Silla, wait.”

“What’s…”


And then there is a light. Off to the right. I frown into it, leaning closer, trying to see the something beyond it.

“Silla.”

The light is blinding. Like the sun decided to take a nap in front of my face. As it fades and my eyes blink through tears of pain and light spots, a kitchen table comes into focus.

It’s our kitchen table.

La Baume. We’re inside La Baume.

But it can’t be. I’m about to turn around and ask Gowan if we made it back to the house, when I see the paint. Buckets of yellow paint, stacked on the cloth-covered table.

Yellow.

And then Cathy drifts into the room, paintbrush in hand. She is wearing a long yellow sundress, and she is smiling.





25


dare you



Grab some twine to twist and thread

some dirt plucked at night with dread

cloth to make his suit and tie

finish before dawn or else you’ll die.





BROKEN BOOK ENTRY


My favorite food is vegetable pie. All you do is chop up as many different kinds of vegetables as you like, like potatoes and carrots. You could even have parsnip in there if you like. You chop them up fairly well, pop them all into a pastry base. Cover it with a pie crust, and pop into the oven for about forty-five minutes. This pie answers every question of hunger, I’m telling you. What’s for dinner? Veggie pie. Hungry at midnight? Leftover veggie pie. I’ve made one already, so you’ll need to make your own.





1980: “Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posies…”

Catherine and Anne and Pamela skip in a circle, their hands joined. Cathy is wearing a blue dress. Anne is wearing red. Pammy is wearing yellow. Each has her hair in curls, as their mother prefers. Each a perfect flower.

“Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down!”

Cathy loves this part. The part where they all collapse. She doesn’t understand what the rhyme means—none of them do—but she knows that the end (collapsing) is the best. For a moment, the sisters lie on the grass, staring up at the sapphire sky. In another hour they will be called inside, their adventure over for the day. Cathy closes her eyes, and feels the earth tilting as it does sometimes.