An Outlaw Monster (Back Down Devil MC #10)(39)

“Why? Why can’t we stay here? I thought you said…”

“Harlee, I need you to do one thing for me.”

“What?”

“Trust me. When I say we need to leave, we leave. End of discussion. Understand?”

I nodded. “Trent, I didn’t mean to find anything.”

“Yes you did. That’s why you were looking.”

My face burned. “I do trust you. I want to know more about you. I know the engagement thing is fake but that doesn't mean everything has to be fake.”

Are you trying to romance an outlaw right now?

Trent leaned down and placed his lips to mine. An actual kiss. Lips to lips, lasting longer than a second. His lips parted and our tongues touched.

Then Trent pulled away. Both hands at my hips, keeping me away.

“You’re poison,” he said.

“So are you,” I said.

“I know, darling. And if you want to step into this world with me, I’m going to tear you apart… and you’ll never want anything or anyone else for the rest of your life.”





twenty-one.



(trent)



They want you to kill him… they want you to kill your own father.

I had to get out of the clubhouse again. I knew Trev and Jasper had more to say to me but I was done for the moment. The O’Nuall family were leaning on me because they found a weak link to exploit. That was my fault and my shame to carry. I was supposed to be the monster for the club, meaning nothing could break me down. But there I was, with an order to kill my own father and a woman I was engaged to.

Harlee was in the bedroom and I was in the living room.

In the back of my mind I thought about Allie. What the f*ck was Harlee doing trying to dig around my past? And f*ck Duke for spitting her name at me like that. It was way too much to carry, even for wide shoulders like mine. The past, the present, and the future all smashing together.

See, it wasn’t killing my father that was the problem, it was the notion of bending to the O’Nuall family’s orders. Because if I did that, then what? They’d put the MC in a corner and muscle us again and again and again. That was bullshit. We were supposed to be the muscle. We were supposed to be strong-arming people.

I walked to the kitchen and got two beers.

I found Harlee sitting on the edge of the bed, looking in a notebook.

“Have a drink,” I said.

She shut the notebook and took the beer. “Thanks.”

I backed up to the doorway, giving her space. “What’s in the notebook?”

“Just stuff,” Harlee said. “I don’t have any real friends and I don’t have any pictures, so I write stuff down. It’s nice to go back and read it. Or when I think of a memory, I write it down. Just so I don’t forget it again.”

“That’s smart,” I said.

“Yeah.” She looked at me. “You have pictures though.”

“Yeah I do. Lots of them. What the f*ck were you doing digging through my drawers?”

“Trying to figure out who you are,” Harlee said. “I’m not ashamed to admit that. You saved me, Trent. You kept saving me. Then you offer me a diamond ring… to save me again. So what’s with this guy saving me over and over? Yet you won’t…” Her face turned red and she shrugged her shoulders.

“I won’t what?”

“You won’t f*ck me.”

I was taken back a little bit. “Of all things I never thought I’d hear…”

“What?” she asked. “You come after me and then hesitate. Why? Is it because of Allie?”

“Trust me, darling, don’t say that name,” I warned. “Before we get into anything, tell me how you ended up in this life.”

“What does it matter?” she asked. “I skated around through life trying to find a purpose. Before all that? I went to high school. I hated it. My boyfriend cheated on me. I had nobody to turn to because I had no real parents. My father left when I was a kid and my mother worked herself to death. The second I turned eighteen she took off to do her own thing. I tried to stay with a friend but she got a job offer after college and left. So I just started to survive.”

“You like writing in that notebook?”

“Yeah.”

“So why not write something and sell it?” I asked.

“I’m not a writer, Trent.”

“You put words down. That’s a writer.”

She smiled. “Thanks. But I’m far from it. Plus, when I become your old lady, what happens then? I can’t write about anything. I wouldn’t do that to you and the club.”

“I’m sorry about what happened with Duke. He and I always had tension. He’s unpredictable.”

“Just like you,” Harlee said. “He was there to work things out. I’m kind of glad because I don’t feel so guilty now. We have an understanding.”

“Good,” I said. “Listen, I didn’t force your hand into anything, Harlee. I expected you stay put and think about it. You took the ring and you said what you said to Trev. There’s no turning back. I could help you escape but then you’d have the MC on your ass, too.”

“I know. I freaked out when I saw the ring, Trent. I wanted an answer. I wanted a sense of truth from you.” She held out her hand and stood up from the bed. “Tell me this ring was meant for someone else.”